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Gays Win Crucial Political Battles, But Lose a Cinematic One: Top Gun 2 Falls Apart

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | November 7, 2012 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | November 7, 2012 |


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The sequel to the greatest movie of all time about oiled-up fighter pilots playing grab-ass for two hours is dead, which means that Tom Cruise will not be paid to engage in wanton eyefuckery and pursed-lipped looks of desire with other men under the auspices of cinema.

The New York Times is reporting that Tony Scott's unfortunate suicide has led to the demise of the project. But don't fret: A 3D conversion of the original is apparently in the works, which means that you can watch Maverick caress Iceman and stop just short of floor-fucking him in three-dimensional wonder!

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On the bright side, this would seem to open up Tom Cruise's schedule for a cameo appearance in the 300 sequel as the guy who cleans the glistening sweat off of Spartan abs, with his tongue.

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