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Man! This Dog-Sledding Movie Is Going to be Epic!

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (31)

dog-sledding-11.jpg

This story first broke over on THR, but I actually caught it first on FirstShowing, and I’m sorry,but every time I read their headline, I giggle uncontrollably:

Gavin Hood in Talks to Direct Epic Alaskan Dog Sledding Film

Epic Dog Sledding Movie? I’m not suggesting it’s inaccurate (in fact, the logline supports it), it’s just that I would never associate a dog-sledding movie with the word epic. It’s like, “I just took an epic piss,” or “My trip to the supermarket was epic” or “Your new marble countertop is epic.

I mean, it’s a dog sledding movie. How epic can it be?

Actually, fairly epic: It’s about the true story of a “674-mile journey undertaken by 20 men and 200 dogs who rushed a diphtheria antidote to Nome, Alaska in 1952. The group braved temperatures of minus-60 degrees, a phenomenon known as ice fog and other dangers, capturing the attention of the lower 48 states. One lead dog even got a statue in New York’s Central Park.”

In other words, this ain’t Eight Below or Snow Dogs; it’s a real goddamn movie. How well will that story translate onto film? I dunno, but Gavin Hood — if we can take a moment and look past the idiocy of Wolverine — is actually a much better director than he’s given credit for: See Tsotsi and, to a lesser extent, Rendition, which was a decent movie that came out at the wrong time.

Based on Gay and Laney Salisbury’s book The Cruelest Miles: The Heroic Story of Dogs and Men in a Race Against an Epidemic, the untitled movie is set to begin shooting this summer, which may rule him out of directing the sequel to Wolverine, which is a win win for everyone. Hood is a good director; he just wasn’t an appropriate choice for that franchise. A bag of testicles could’ve directed Wolverine and it wouldn’t have looked much different.









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Comments

I've read "The Cruelest Miles" and it's astonishing to what lengths and through what awful conditions those men and dogs pushed themselves.

IIRC, the dog who got the statue was Balto, and there's already been a movie about it (1995, Spielberg team did it). I never saw that movie, don't know if it's any good, but I guess that was long ago enough to tell the story again.

But ... yeah, they'll have to overcome the problem that there's nothing visually exciting about watching a sled dog team mush through blizzards for 127 hours.

Posted by: , at January 26, 2010 12:13 PM

Balto!!!

Aww I loved that movie as a kid. Talking animals are awesome when you're 8. And I remember it still being cute when I was babysitting at about 15, so, buc I think it was decent. And I remember being like 11 and rewatching it and being so intrigued by the whole race that I did some research on it (at the library! God I was such a nerd). That junk is epic, no lie.

Posted by: Kayanne at January 26, 2010 12:20 PM

Balto was a good, solid children's movie.

I mean, it’s a dog sledding movie. How epic can it be?

Yeah, hypothermia, dangers from breaking through the ice, wild animals, rugged terrain, hallucinations due to lack of sleep. It's cake.

Winterdance, Gary Paulsen's book about running the Iditarod, is very good. I heard a rumor that it somehow turned into Eight Below, but that's evil Hollywood screenwriter concentrated battery acid mojo, it can destroy anything.

Posted by: twig at January 26, 2010 12:20 PM

There's the kids' movie Balto, which is a typical Disneyfied retelling of the story.

It could be very interesting as long as it doesn't get all fictioned up. The real event is compelling enough.

Posted by: Wednesday at January 26, 2010 12:22 PM

There is NO way Winterdance was used as the basis for Eight Below. Eight Below was so abysmally bad I was laughing through it. And yes, the other theatergoers were staring at me as if I were on drugs, but at that point, drugs could only have improved the movie.

Winterdance was a terrific little book about training for and running the Iditarod. Eight Below had nothing to do with the Iditarod...it was all about dogs left behind at an Antarctic research station.

Posted by: Wednesday at January 26, 2010 12:25 PM

Wait, they did this movie already.

Balto http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112453/

I remember it being pretty good for a non-Disney animated movie for the mid-nineties.

Posted by: Doric at January 26, 2010 12:28 PM

I don't know what Rowles' problem is with the word epic. Being a virtually unknown webperson, nothing he does is by any means epic.

I, on the other hand, do everything, epically. I walk epically, I take epic dumps I masturbate, epically. I. AM. EPIC.

/also, awesome

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 26, 2010 12:28 PM

Wednesday.

I was wrong! Winterdance was used as the "inspiration" for Snow Dogs! You know, with Cuba Gooding Jr. and the talking dogs!

Sometimes I get mixed-up on my horrible dog-sledding adaptations.

Posted by: twig at January 26, 2010 12:34 PM

Wait a sec. The guy who directed Tsotsi also directed Wolverine? How'd that happen? One of these movies was great. One was not.

Posted by: Jeni at January 26, 2010 12:42 PM

One word on how the last movie on this subject turned out: Balto.

Seriously, as an Alaskan who is tired of watching shitty movies about my home state, and REALLY sick of tourists asking me questions about said shitty movies whenever I go back home to work for the summer, all I can say is kill this movie and kill it now. 90 percent of the movies made about Alaska suck a big sun-kissed never been to Alaska EVER lower forty-eight cock. And I include Into the Wild in this assessment if for no other reason than the main character was an idiot (and do not get on me for insulting the dead. Just because it's a true story and someone actually died doesn't mean people should be subjected to watching it.)

Posted by: Webb at January 26, 2010 12:44 PM

Apparently you've never seen my marble countertop.

Posted by: ThunderSacTriumph at January 26, 2010 12:45 PM

Hey, someone mention Balto again.

Also: For some reason, I read the headline and my brain processed it as "Gavin Rossdale in Talks to Direct Epic Alaskan Dog Sledding Film" and I was really fucking confused.

I need to stop mixing scotch and codeine.

Posted by: TK at January 26, 2010 12:50 PM

Couldn't think of the damn dog's name and I googled Balco. Apparently somebody needs to make a movie about juicehead sled dogs who hit 74 HRS.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at January 26, 2010 12:59 PM

For once, I'd like to see this kind of film end with the racer dying a horrific death and the dogs dragging his bloated and festering corpse across the finish line to win the race. They then split the prize money and are sent off to live the rest of their lives in a warm animal sanctuary. The end.

Posted by: Robert at January 26, 2010 12:59 PM

I need to stop mixing scotch and codeine.

Posted by: TK at January 26, 2010 12:50 PM

---------------------------------------

No no no, you need to take more, a LOT more, don't be such a pansy.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 26, 2010 1:02 PM

You realize my crippling fear of witnessing animal violence, even pretend animal violence where I know they're all really getting treats off-screen, will prevent me from ever even considering seeing this, right?

All it would take is for one little sled dog to get a broken paw or something, and I'd be done for. My poor cats would get hugged senseless while I weep into their fur or something, while my fiancee shakes his head and leaves the room until the crazy lady he loves comes back from Crazytania to the United States of Sane.

Posted by: Nat Kittyface at January 26, 2010 1:06 PM

Thank you Webb, as an Alaskan born and raised I feel exactly the same way. Fuck all non-Alaskan film makers going and making movies about "Alaska," the mythical state with big old towns that look kind of New Englandy without an Alaska Native in sight, and sometimes with CHILDREN BEFRIENDING POLAR BEARS. YES, THE ONLY ANIMAL ON THE PLANET THAT HUNTS HUMANS FOR FOOD. FUCKING RETARDS! Come and talk to me once you've used a honeybucket. Or tried Eskimo ice cream (full disclosure: I will never, ever try Eskimo ice cream).

My husband and I just rented The Proposal, mostly so we could see how they portrayed Sitka. Yeah, fuck everything ever.

Posted by: Katers at January 26, 2010 1:41 PM

Fuck all non-Alaskan film makers going and making movies about "Alaska,"

Even Mystery, Alaska? But what about Russell Crowe playing hockey?!

Posted by: branded at January 26, 2010 2:19 PM

Ditto on the Eskimo ice cream.

Posted by: Webb at January 26, 2010 2:28 PM

Winterdance was used as the "inspiration" for Snow Dogs! You know, with Cuba Gooding Jr. and the talking dogs!

Hole.E.Shit. I never saw Snow Dogs -- even my crappy-movie-loving friend thought it looked like a turd -- but I sure would never have guessed Winterdance was the inspiration for it. Wow. Talk about playing fast and loose with the source material. That's like saying Moby Dick was the inspiration for Free Willy.

Posted by: Wednesday at January 26, 2010 2:29 PM

I learned everything I needed to know about Alaska from Northern Exposure. Which was filmed a hundred miles or so from where I live. Mainly what I learned was that you could nicely emulate the experience of being in Alaska without actually living there. And way fewer Polar Bears. Bonus!

Deadliest Catch fills in the blanks for the rest of any lingering questions I have about Alaska.
Effin' cold.

The dude from Into the Wild was an idiot. Natural Selection at Work.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at January 26, 2010 2:31 PM

I take it this movie will be like staring at a blank sheet of white paper for 2 hours while listening to heavy breathing and a few barking dogs.

In other words, it will be like when I was trying to write a term paper and had to listen to my roommate and her boyfriend humping in the next room.

Posted by: BWeaves at January 26, 2010 2:32 PM

kayanne: I was going to write the exact same thing.

twig: Gary Paulsen rocks!!!

I'll watch anything with dogs in it. I even cried during Eight Below.

Shut up.

*sulks*

Posted by: Jelinas at January 26, 2010 2:37 PM

Look, branded, don't even start with Mystery, Alaska.

Posted by: Katers at January 26, 2010 3:05 PM

sometimes with CHILDREN BEFRIENDING POLAR BEARS.

[Young man enters scene, sees young polar bear]

"Hey there little fella. You wouldn't hurt me, would you? You're a good boy!"

[young bear sniffs you man's hand]

"That's a good boy."

[Young man gets hideously mauled by mother polar bear. Dies screaming and in unrelenting agony. Baby bear devours young man's dismembered bits, shits out watch next day]

aaaaand scene.

I like my version better, frankly.

Posted by: I Love Beets at January 26, 2010 3:42 PM

I'm having pancakes and bacon for dinner. It's going to be EPIC.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at January 26, 2010 4:15 PM

It will probably be filmed in one of the Dakotas. Or Detroit. Seriously, not only is the common depiction of AK cheesy, cliche delusion, most of the movie action is far removed (New Zealand?) from the awesomeness that occurs being outdoors in Alaska...

Posted by: eskiimomo at January 26, 2010 4:20 PM

Sled dogs are fucking amazing. They are so tiny when you consider their stamina and speed. Any movie that shows the skill and talent of these mushers and what they accomplished is welcome in my book, even if it is filmed in Kansas.
And I am an Alaskan too.

Posted by: Jennifer at January 26, 2010 4:50 PM

I read Balto: Alaska's Bravest Sled Dog to my daughter practically every night. She's decided to be a dog now. All I hear is 'Bark' (I want something) and 'woof' (I'm sad). At this point, I'd only be happy at the news if it was a disneyfied, or better yet, Pixarly project. Otherwise, NO MORE...oh GOD....PLEASE NO MORE DIPTHERIA!

Posted by: replica at January 26, 2010 5:26 PM

Speaking of dogs, was there ever an update on Stanley, the sad old guy featured in Pajiba Love a few weeks back? They carted him off to the vet, and that was it.

I'm with Nat Kittyface--cannot tolerate animal suffering of any kind, even when I know it's just a film and they're really just fine. I watched Cannibal Holocaust and Audition without batting an eye, but God forbid you show me doggies with frostbitten feet; I will cry buckets of snotty tears. Sled dogs in particular make me well up since I had an Alaskan malamute for 16 years.

I recently watched a horror movie in which the family dog and Dad were victims of the same bad guy; the dog was dragging his bloody self around, and Dad had half his face taken off. I kept screaming "Forgot the dad! He's done for! HELP THE POOR DOG!"

Posted by: DeadBessie at January 27, 2010 9:33 AM

There will be no gender stereotypeical about Alaska. But normal real life Alaska with their true story of Balto and Togo the husky. And even people should not been eating foods with artificial favors in it could make people thinks dumb about Alaska. And eating foods with natural favors could make people thinks smart about Alaska. And its help the heart of Alaska to kept it from false minds and cons about Alaska! Even balto and Togo are just two good deed husky!

Posted by: Charles H. Westgate III at February 21, 2010 10:12 PM