January 1, 2007 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | January 1, 2007 |


Fuck me running: A Weird Science remake? Now why would anyone go and ruin the perfection of that fine, fine ’80s flick, which inspired this refrain every time I got overly inebriated during my college years: “Gimme da keys — I drive.” And I know — based on this brilliant blog entry — that my colleague has a similar fondness for Kelly LeBrock, et al. The speculation has Johnny Rosenthal (who has also been tapped to write the script for a movie called Arrested Development, unrelated to the television show) penning the remake, though that is the extent of details so far. But goddamn! It may not have been John Hughes’ best flick, but it was my favorite. And it did launch the careers of Robert Downey Jr. and Bill Paxton (though it didn’t do much for poor Ilan Mitchell-Smith, who hasn’t even shown up on a VH1 reality show). Still, this is another sacred artifact of my childhood, and remaking it is tantamount to informing me that the first girl I ever kissed is now a 300-lb. lesbian with facial hair and a mullet-fro (are you out there, Kristen?). Although, I do have to admit to finding a certain joy in speculating who’d take LeBrock’s role. My bet: Kate Beckinsale. And it’s hard to argue against that decision. I’m hoping, however, that the producers forget to put the bra on their heads and this whole idea goes up in smoke.

In sequel news, there has been confirmation of a Toy Story 3, to be released in 2009, and speculation — based on Rupert Murdoch’s own statements — that there will be another Borat film. I’m pretty confident that Toy Story 3 will be every bit as good as the first two installments in the franchise, primarily because Lee Unkrich (who co-directed Toy Story 2, Finding Nemo, and Monsters, Inc.) has been hired to direct; even more reassuring, Michael Arndt, who wrote Little Miss Sunshine, will pen the script. As far as Borat 2 goes, Murdoch announced that Sacha Baron Cohen will make the sequel after he does Bruno for Universal, though Murdoch doesn’t seem to know what the hell he’s talking about: At this point, Bruno is still in preliminary discussions. Either way, I suspect it won’t be as easy to bamboozle unsuspecting bigots, homophobes, and morons the second time around, but really, how many middle-Americans — even after the $128 million gross of the first flick — know who Borat is? Only 24 percent of Americans can name two of the nine Supreme Court justices, which is almost as alarming as the fact that 26 percent of Americans cannot name two of the seven dwarfs. I’m guessing, based on that research evidence, that maybe 30 percent can identify Borat, and I doubt any of them attend rodeos.

Finally, although the wide-release schedule has not been friendly to moviegoers of late, it’s a decent time for your Netflix queues. This week, you can add (or purchase) the two-disc collector’s edition of The Departed or even Half Nelson, which features the best male performance in all of 2006. And it’s a helluva good flick, to boot. You can also now watch School for Scoundrels, Infamous, or Marie Antoinette in the comfort of your own living room, though I have no idea why you would.

Before I sign off, a serious query: Do children still watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Is it possible that it’s held on to its popularity over the last two decades? Or is the upcoming film simply capitalizing on nostalgia? Because if so, what person in their late 20s/early 30s would want to watch another one of these films? And seriously, it didn’t work for the New Kids, so why would it work for the Ninja Turtle franchise to reinvent itself as an acronym: TMNT?

Anyway, here’s the trailer.

Dustin Rowles is the publisher of Pajiba. He lives with his wife in Ithaca, New York. You may email him, or leave a comment below.

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Gary, By the Way, Why Are We Wearing Pajibras on our Heads?

The Daily Trade Round-Up / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | January 1, 2007 | Comments ()



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