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Fun Size Trailer: Teen Movie Made For ‘Tweeners

By Jay Stevens, Jr. | Trade News | August 29, 2012 | Comments ()


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After watching this trailer by Nickelodeon Movies. I decided to let one of my other less dominant personalities come out to review it. So without further ado, here is multiple personality #17 (and arguably a candidate for my otherwise dormant feminine side) better known as Bianca, aged 16 from Eastern Massachusetts. Take it away kiddo and have the body back to home to me by 9.

Omigawd, sportin' a wiener is liiiike sogross. So anyway, Fun Size is about a girl with the typical teen movie named Wren, I guess 'coz "Robin" or "Sparrow" were like already taken....or something. She's played by "iCarly's" Victoria Justice. Wren's high school crush is throwing like only THE bash of the year at his house for Halloween. But then, *tisk her Mother wants to get her drink on an' is like this buzzkill by making her escort her total dweeb of a little brother around the neighborhood to go trick-or-treating instead of going to the party. I mean what a total bitch, right? She totally reminds me of Chelsea Handler.

But like then rugrat goes missing during the trick-or-treating madness 'coz somebody was too busy talking with her BFF girlfriend and texting and trying to figure out how they can still go to the bash. So now like they had to find him otherwise it would be sooo inconvenient for them to get bawled out by Mom before they go to the par-tay. So then they decide they can cover more ground if they had a car. Okay, so they sooo cawk-tease a couple of the school dorks so they can find him faster, so they can go to the party with the wicked hawt guys. But of course the world is out to get them coz all this bad stuff keeps going on. But like, it's a comedy... so I don't think the missing urchin is trapped playing naked Twister in someone's basement for Pixie Stix, right?

Oh so, if you want to go to the movies to see this, it'll be there on October 12th 'kay?

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Strand

    Her legal name is... Victoria Justice?

  • stryker1121

    Filmed in my neighborhood. I have shopped in the convenience mart, folks. Love me and be in awe!

  • The only reason I came to this thread was because the girl in the picture looked like Paula Garces (of Harold and Kumar fame). It's not her. And I'm not sure who Victoria Justice is. But I'm pretty sure Garces should be getting more roles than her.

  • Victoria Justice has her OWN SHOW on Nick, the creatively named "Victorious". She only guested on iCarly.

  • Alice

    Trying to read this made me make faces like the mugshots at the top right of the screen. Oh, the humanity!

  • luckypete

    That dominant personality must've snuck through just long enough to use the word urchin, because no girl with that kind of mentality would even know what it means.

  • BlackRabbit

    And do 16 year-olds know who Chelsea Handler is? To be fair, I don't really either....

  • DeistBrawler

    Does the younger crowd still use a shitload of "likes" when they speak, or is that more of a Generation Y thing?

  • bleujayone

    Sadly they do. And their language is peppered with enough slang that it makes A Clockwork Orange sound like Olivier. Oddly enough at least two teens out there know who Handler is. I have no idea how.

  • Green Lantern

    Jay's right. They absolutely do.

    And I hate Bianca. Please never let her write an article for us again. KTHXBI.

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