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Apparently, I'm Dead!

F**cking Sharks / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | July 8, 2009 | Comments (45)

Normally, I’m not a huge fan of viral marketing. It’s usually designed by cheesy PR folks, and it’s normally completely transparent. But I got an interesting package today. And I confess it’s one of the more brilliant pieces of viral marketing I’ve seen.

Inside the package was a jar, and inside the jar were a few items, including a ripped pair of shorts, a key attached to a floatie, and some sort of seashell, as well as a Warning Sign. Here’s a picture:

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There was also a handwritten note that read:

This jar holds a story — the story of a single tragic incident that needs to be unlocked. Dive in, investigate the evidence and discover what lies beneath the surface.


Anyway, the thing that really sold it was an obituary inside. It was my own obituary, and there was quite a bit of attention to detail. It had mentioned that my funeral was set to happen in Portland, ME (which is where I live), that I ran Pajiba.com, and that I’d even been the managing editor of Quinlan Publishing from 2001 - 2004, which isn’t exactly common knowledge (a Google search would reveal it, of course, but that’s more work than you’d expect from most viral marketers). Anyway, apparently I died of a vicious shark attack, and if y’all are so inclined, my funeral is set for tomorrow, July 9th.

Stop on by.

There was a website, of course: frenziedwaters.com

I’m impressed enough with the package to blog about it, though it’s not usually our thing. I have a fairly good idea of what this is for, but I’m not going to reveal as much. I’ll let you folks check it out, and see if you can figure it out.


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Comments

i suck at guessing games so i'm going with Bruce Springsteen's new album...what? that video was in Asbury Park...totally makes sense right?

Posted by: JenVegas at July 8, 2009 6:14 PM

What...the...fuck?

Posted by: DeistBrawler at July 8, 2009 6:15 PM

Click on "Terms of Service" or "Privacy" in the bottom left-hand corner of the first page. Takes you to a Discovery Channel website. I looked it up. "Shark Week" begins August 2.

Jessica Alba is gonna be defacin' some shit again.

Posted by: superEdna at July 8, 2009 6:20 PM

If it turns out to be a) some stupid shark movie or b) some stupid video game, I'm going to be pissed...Well, actually not pissed--what's the word--bored. Yeah. Bored.

Posted by: Jerce at July 8, 2009 6:20 PM

The terms of service takes you to Discovery Channel's website. This has to be for "Shark Week". Awesome on how specific the viral marketing is though.

Posted by: Stupid Rookie at July 8, 2009 6:24 PM

So.... you didn't receive the large package, with the live shark inside?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at July 8, 2009 6:28 PM

Very impressed with the marketing and effort behind it. Less impressed about it being for Shark Week.

Posted by: Carrie at July 8, 2009 6:32 PM

Hear that sound, Highness? Those are the shrieking eels. They always scream loudest just before they're about to feed...

Posted by: Anne (in Reno) at July 8, 2009 6:36 PM

While I appreciate all the effort that went into this, I can assure you that if I received a package with my obituary in it that had lots of information about my life, my first reaction would be a little different.

Posted by: DontStopNow at July 8, 2009 6:42 PM

My personal obituary happened to use my current facebook status beneath my pic. Couldn't have been more perfect: A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age.
Also, HOORAY SHARK WEEK!

Posted by: puregonzo at July 8, 2009 6:58 PM

All of that really made me think of The Raw Shark Texts, so hearing it's for Shark Week is a big disappointment. Everything adds up for some kind of adaptation (or continuation?) of that book, too.

It seems like no one is willing to bet on turning a story about amazing killer linguistics into something else. Pansies.

Bah humbug.

Posted by: Robert at July 8, 2009 7:00 PM

The terms of service takes you to Discovery Channel's website. This has to be for "Shark Week".

Aaaaah.

Boring.

Posted by: Jerce at July 8, 2009 7:21 PM

What was that indie film out several years ago about the couple that got left behind by their dive boat? I want to say it's Open Water but I have a bad memory. Anyway this would be an awesome campaign for that movie or one like it. But Shark Week? Eh, not so much.

Posted by: elsie at July 8, 2009 7:36 PM

Tyler Perry is remaking "Jaws" as: "MEDEA GOES TO THE BEACH". Heard it somewhere.

Posted by: figgy at July 8, 2009 7:42 PM

Maaan, I already live every week like it's Shark Week.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at July 8, 2009 7:47 PM

Rest assured, Dustin. If we attended your funeral, the drunken debauchery would be truly epic. We'd be lucky if we kept track of your body long enough to bury it. Suffice to say, it would look like a cross between Weekend at Bernie's and Lars and the Real Girl.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at July 8, 2009 8:02 PM

I wish, Robert. I really enjoyed that novel and I recommend it to anyone. As I work in a bookstore this turns out to be a frequent occurrence.

I love sharks, it disappointments me to see them portrayed as vicious killers, especially of humans. It isn't true and the Discovery Channel should know that, those fuckers.

Posted by: racahel at July 8, 2009 8:07 PM

It isn't true and the Discovery Channel should know that, those fuckers.

They know it, but the dumbass public doesn't.

Posted by: Rykker at July 8, 2009 8:13 PM

Yes, I meant they do know it and they shouldn't be so goddamn irresponsible. Unfortunately my rage clouded my thinking. I guess ratings trump educating no matter the name of your stupid channel.

Posted by: racahel at July 8, 2009 8:20 PM

Nah, I'll pass. Wow, first The Proposal and now this...

Posted by: pissant at July 8, 2009 8:28 PM

We're not taking part in what is obviously you attempting life insurance fraud, Dustin. Unless of course I'm going to be named as a beneficiary...

Posted by: branded at July 8, 2009 8:56 PM

Why would you waste such a potentially good marketing campaign for a TV show on a movie critic? Are we sure it's for Shark Week?

Posted by: elsie at July 8, 2009 9:00 PM

Ha, I'm so glad i didn't answer my door this morning. He said he was just a dolphin, but something about his voice...

Posted by: isabelle at July 8, 2009 9:14 PM

Shark Week is finally doing something worthy. I think it's cool that it doesn't reek of self promotional crap. I've over advertisers doing boring stuff. I give it: A-

Posted by: wheeler at July 8, 2009 9:23 PM

I love shark week! is this really for shark week? i want more!

Posted by: Anabelle at July 8, 2009 9:28 PM

GROW SOME BALLS PEOPLE.
i'm sooooo sick of wimps. "why can't we just love everyone. let's hug a shark." blah blah blah. this thing has some guts. i'm totally over pansies. go back to your lifetime channel.

Posted by: ms. kim at July 8, 2009 9:39 PM

Didn't Ryan Seacrest get bitten by a shark last year? It seems like there's been a lot of attacks reported lately. I'm not getting in the water!

Posted by: Graydon at July 8, 2009 9:52 PM

Aww man. So, this isn't for a sequel to Deep Blue Sea? But... but it could be, right? Was LL Cool J in the jar?

Posted by: jM at July 8, 2009 9:56 PM

MEGA-SHARK VS. GIANT OCTOPUS 2???!!!!!!?1!!?

Posted by: A. Biro at July 8, 2009 9:56 PM

Well hugging sharks would tend to put you in a category of ballsy, not wimpy. The ad is interesting, all I'm saying is let's be sensible in representing sharks. They eat seals not people. I'm sick of idiots.

Posted by: racahel at July 8, 2009 10:04 PM

what does "sensible in representing sharks" mean? if this ends up being some planet earth crap - I WILL BE PISSED. why does anything that hints at being a little scary have to be bad? it's "shark week" not "national geographic snooze fest week". you remind me of the house that hands out tooth brushes (or pennies) on halloween.

Posted by: ms. kim at July 8, 2009 10:29 PM


BRING IT ON !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHARK WEEK SHARK WEEK SHARK WEEK SHARK WEEK SHARK WEEK SHARK WEEK SHARK WEEK SHARK WEEK SHARK WEEK SHARK WEEK SHARK WEEK SHARK WEEK SHARK WEEK SHARK WEEK SHARK WEEK SHARK WEEK SHARK WEEK SHARK WEEK SHARK WEEK SHARK WEEK SHARK WEEK SHARK WEEK SHARK WEEK SHARK WEEK SHARK WEEK

Posted by: D. Bauer at July 8, 2009 10:34 PM

Maaan, I already live every week like it's Shark Week.
Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at July 8, 2009 7:47 PM

Wow, the manatee has become the mento.

Posted by: Lainey at July 8, 2009 10:54 PM

Huh. There were some rather famous shark attacks on the Jersey Shore in 1916. Apparently frenziedwaters.com shows you a different first jar depending on where you are in the country ... ? Well, it got my attention. Woohoo sharks!

Posted by: g hill at July 8, 2009 10:58 PM

Fucking A, you get to be part of shark week? I'm so jealous.

Posted by: Cindy at July 8, 2009 11:00 PM

Shark Week? zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Mega Shark Week? !!!!!!!!!!!

Wait ... EVERY week is Mega Shark Week.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at July 8, 2009 11:04 PM

I say that Discovery Channel has jumped the shark on Shark Week...

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at July 9, 2009 1:40 AM

Yeah, that's what I said. Good shark programs are scary and tense. You must have missed the scenes in Planet Earth with the sharks. Or holy crap those savage killer whales...
That said one of my favorite movies is Jaws, I guess my argument is hypocritical.

Posted by: racahel at July 9, 2009 1:41 AM

The latest celeb babe pics! Which girl do you like best?

http://www.uniformedmeet.com/news/181

Posted by: whale at July 9, 2009 2:25 AM

Holy cats, isabelle, I love you.

I have to say I'd be utterly delighted to get this kind of marketing. I hate plastic useless object/ temporary tattoo/ keepsake pamphlet thingies. It's...it's...it's like someone tried, you know? As a young creative artist with a yen to make an actual living, I used to dream of crafting such things. I got laughed at.


Once you figure out what the hell it's all about, I might even go check it out, so there.

Posted by: replica at July 9, 2009 4:46 AM

Huh. So maybe that recent diversion about songs to play at funerals will come in useful sooner than you expected?

Whoever designed this viral marketing tool has talent (and balls). They may be wasted on Discovery.

Posted by: Tarn at July 9, 2009 7:02 AM

Listen haters, Shark week is the best fish related week on TV, nothing competes with the pure awesomeness that is shark week, I can only hope and pray the one day there will be Shark Week 3-D.
Racahel-I can totally agree with you about being sensitive to sharks, they are magnificent in every way. I have been up close and can't even describe the feeling.

Posted by: schmally at July 9, 2009 9:11 AM

Whatever, live every day like its shark week.

Posted by: Nimue at July 9, 2009 10:19 AM

(386)675-0342 is the phone number they ask you to call to hear more about the shark attacks. It's worth checking out to listen to the automated PSA-sounding message.

Posted by: Betty at July 9, 2009 12:32 PM

So, it's July 9th. Did you die?

Posted by: courtney at July 9, 2009 12:40 PM





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