Pajiba

It's funny how the (non-existant) demand for more cop shows has caused the industry to just create shows about fake shit. No one like this exists. At least, no one like this exists in the sense that someone can actually do this. Also, how would this guy help prosecute anyone? This guys fake talent wouldn't hold up in court. The point of 'Law and Order' and to a MUCH smaller extent a few early episodes of CSI was to give an inside look into how the system works.

And the reason why we invented a machine to detect lies is because it's impossible for a human to do this. We then found out it is impossible for a machine to do this. This is because sometimes the truth is a lie and vice versa.

Are we done here? Good, cus I've got a very hot date tonight.

Coincidentally, last night I watched Human Face, a BBC TV miniseries hosted by John Cleese (from my Netflix queue). And one of the tidbits offered by Cleese was that when shown clips of people telling stories, and asked which were liars and which were telling the truth, people are astonishingly bad at telling them apart. The probability of catching liars was no better than chance.

Same goes for people like psychiatrists, judges, police, and yep, even polygraph technicians (so daily exposure to liars doesn't help). The only group of people who beat the odds were spies/secret agents (they could tell liars 80% of the time).

Yes, I know this is a TV show (from FOX at that), but really, could they at least pretend to pay attention to science/reality?

Dammit, Fox, put some effort into these releases! You can't just go throwing commas around all willy-nilly. That sort of shit gets you a shanking in prison. Trust me.

I actually used to work with a woman who thought she could do this crap. She was a former sales-rep who had "come inside" as they say and taken a job in HR. She insisted on taking all senior job candidates to lunch and then writing a report on their facial expressions, where they cast their eyes when talking, how they fidgeted, etc. She had about 2 brain cells that had ever worked and by the time I met her even those two had seen better days but she swore she knew all about people. She would become inordinately upset if a candidate was hired after she had "caught them lying". But the worst part was that the VP of HR bought into her shit and let it go on.

I will not watch the Mentalist as it violates a cardinal rule of television: if from the 30 second spot I can fill out the madlib: "It's like __________, except that ____________" that was doubtlessly the show's pitch to the network and feel completely confident as to both its accuracy and comprehensive description of everything about the show then there is no reason to watch the creatively devoid pilot.

For example, the Mentalist is: "It's like Psyche except it's brooding"

"Cooking for Real": "It's like Rachel Ray except she's black."

"CSI: ____": "It's like CSI except in _______"

"CSI": "It's like Law & Order except it's hip and edgy"

"Hole in the Wall": "It's like Jeopardy except it's for people who's only demonstrable skill is thrusting body parts through holes."

Most cop shows are recruitment tools that glamorize and make attractive a mind-numbingly monotonous job that involves obsequy and back-biting, not to mention working shoulder-to-shoulder with the scum of the Earth.

And then there's the "fringe benefits".

Insert Dignam's quote from The Departed here:

"Most people just want to slam a ______'s head through a plate-glass window."