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Fox Is Now Making A Film Trilogy Based On Websites. What In The F*cking Sh*t?!?

By Jodi Clager | Trade News | October 25, 2013 | Comments ()


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Video games. Board Games. Twitter feeds. Websites. Yes, Hollywood takes all comers in an effort to bloat the marketplace with intolerable sh*t. Fox has decided to acquire the movie rights to three websites, with each serving as the inspiration for one movie in a planned trilogy:

The Knot: A wedding planning site.

The Bump: A being-knocked-up-and-wanting-to-track-and-question-everything site.

The Nest: A catch-all site for couples that includes decorating, sex advice, pet stuff, recipes, and Godtopus knows what else.

Are you titillated yet? No? You mean you don’t want to watch a movie about a couple meeting, planning a wedding, and then getting married? Then revisit them in a sequel where they find out they’re pregnant, derp their way through the pregnancy, and then have a baby? Then revisit them for the last time to watch them…decorate their house and, um, get a pet, and ask strangers on the internet for sex advice?

Natalie Krinsky (Gossip Girl) will be writing this terrible, no good, very bad idea of a movie trilogy. I don’t think that this information helps the cause here, so let’s speculate about a few things! Do we think that the movies will each be named after their respective website counterparts? It seems like that would be the easiest and simplest thing to do, so I’m saying yes.

How about the couple?

Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey?

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Ryan Reynolds and Rachel Bilson?

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Liam Hemsworth and Emma Roberts?

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Katherine Heigl and Satan?

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Are you following Pajiba on Facebook or Twitter? Every time you do, Bill Murray crashes a wedding.


Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Surzel

    Will David Fincher be back for one of those to direct his second website-movie?

  • DataAngel

    I'm shocked they didn't go with Match or PlentyOfFish for the "how they met" and make it a four-pack. Wait, did I just spoil their prequel announcement?

  • e jerry powell

    Providing that Emma Roberts isn't already locked down to Ryan Murphy for another AHS cycle.

  • Wrestling Fan

    What??
    No Pajiba?
    No Fark?
    FAIL!

  • Laura Cox Witherington

    Isn't Paul Ruud in the running somewhere? Amy Adams? Come on, there are other eligible jerkactors out there.

  • Clearly the only pairing that would work here is Rainbow Killer and Paul Walker. The acting would be on such a level as to devour itself in the black hole of suck it would create.

  • firedmyass

    I think you mixed up the photos on that last pairing.

  • Byakko

    I think Mr. Reynolds' face says it all.

  • Monica

    Huh. And here I thought the nest always came before the bump...

  • emmalita

    Some one turned What to Expect When You're Expecting into a movie. I don't understand why we haven't had the sequel, What to Expect the First Year or the the prequel, What to Expect Before you're Expecting.

    What I'm trying to say here is, quelle surprise.

    edited to add: this is exactly the kind of least effort stuff I like to make fun of.

  • bastich

    I went to the "Bump" website and found a "Chinese Gender Chart" page. This chart, based on findings in an ancient royal tomb near Beijing, is said to provide 90+ percent accuracy in guessing your baby's gender:

    http://content.thebump.com/sit...

    So, if nothing else, we can expect these movies to drop some science learnins on us.

  • DataAngel

    According to the chart, I'm a boy!

  • BlackRabbit

    Who are you to argue with science?

  • Wrestling Fan

    60% of the time, it works every time!

  • Rorgg

    +/- 40 percent

  • Guest

    Jealous Pajibi?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    I'd watch a Pajibi movie (pirated of course) especially if it was about Pajiba 5 10.

  • Tinkerville

    What? I just. No. The hell? Ughh.

    Sigh

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