Fox Is Now Making A Film Trilogy Based On Websites. What In The F*cking Sh*t?!?
Video games. Board Games. Twitter feeds. Websites. Yes, Hollywood takes all comers in an effort to bloat the marketplace with intolerable sh*t. Fox has decided to acquire the movie rights to three websites, with each serving as the inspiration for one movie in a planned trilogy:
The Knot: A wedding planning site.
The Bump: A being-knocked-up-and-wanting-to-track-and-question-everything site.
The Nest: A catch-all site for couples that includes decorating, sex advice, pet stuff, recipes, and Godtopus knows what else.
Are you titillated yet? No? You mean you don’t want to watch a movie about a couple meeting, planning a wedding, and then getting married? Then revisit them in a sequel where they find out they’re pregnant, derp their way through the pregnancy, and then have a baby? Then revisit them for the last time to watch them…decorate their house and, um, get a pet, and ask strangers on the internet for sex advice?
Natalie Krinsky (Gossip Girl) will be writing this terrible, no good, very bad idea of a movie trilogy. I don’t think that this information helps the cause here, so let’s speculate about a few things! Do we think that the movies will each be named after their respective website counterparts? It seems like that would be the easiest and simplest thing to do, so I’m saying yes.
How about the couple?
Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey?
Ryan Reynolds and Rachel Bilson?
Liam Hemsworth and Emma Roberts?
Katherine Heigl and Satan?