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Four Score and Seven Years Ago, I Kicked Ass For The Lord

By Brian Prisco | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (7)

Abraham-Lincoln-Vampire-Hunter.JPG

Tim Burton and Timur Bekmambetov joined forces yet again to bring our five dollar president to the big screen in the second greatest historical figure ever to drive stakes into the hearts of the unholy. The first, of course, being Jesus Christ. Seth Grahame-Smith, he what brung us Jane Austen’s timely original Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, and who opened the door on several lesser summer reading mashups, followed his success by showing us the Buffyesque slayer that was our 16th president.

Bekmambetov has now decided that he will also be directing the adaptation. He envisions it more like a historical biopic. But, you know, with crossbows that shoot stakes around people’s heads. Bekmambetov is undeniably a visually stunning director, but I’m not really sure he’d be the boy for this. After Sleepy Hollow and Sweeney Todd, I’d be more inclined to give the keys to Burton — provided he promised not to let his stupid friends Johnny and Helena drive along. Though Carter’d make a hell of a Mary Todd. But it appears the self-proclaimed Russian Spielberg is gonna helm this badboy. So the odds are pretty fair that Eli Whitney somehow crafts a cotton gin that’s actually some kind of loom of destiny.

(Source Empire via Collider)









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Comments

I love Timur. LOVE. I want to have his crazy slow-motion-y Russian babies.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at August 11, 2010 10:05 AM

" So the odds are pretty fair that Eli Whitney somehow crafts a cotton gin that’s actually some kind of loom of destiny."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Although, the cotton gin was basically a bunch of saw blades that you turned with a crank to scrape the fibers off the cotton seeds, so they could be used as flying disks of death, if necessary.

Posted by: BWeaves at August 11, 2010 10:33 AM

I am so sick of this semi-genre. It's just a pathetic (and unfortunately successful) attempt to cash in on the trendiness of Austen and such right now. There's nothing creative about it. Given Mary Todd Lincoln's obsession with seances and such, you'd think there would be some comedy gold here, but nope. Nothing.

Posted by: PaddyDog at August 11, 2010 10:34 AM

I am so sick of this semi-genre. It's just a pathetic (and unfortunately successful) attempt to cash in on the trendiness of Austen and such right now. There's nothing creative about it. Given Mary Todd Lincoln's obsession with seances and such, you'd think there would be some comedy gold here, but nope. Nothing.

Posted by: PaddyDog at August 11, 2010 10:34 AM

well....sorry to hear that, but really, don't care that much, the zombie, vampire, whatever genere for the classics actually works well, as it stays within parameters of the original work.

Posted by: LordNinja at August 11, 2010 11:23 AM

Sleepy Hollow and Sweeney Todd were crap. Tim Burton is over.

Posted by: Steph at August 11, 2010 1:04 PM

I read this book over the summer and it was a quick read, but not as fun as I thought. Grahame-Smith goes to great pains to link vampires, slavery and the various tragedies in Abe's life. Abe becomes kind of an obsessed dick.

As for Bekmambetov, he's great visually but has yet to direct anything remotely intriguing or original.

Posted by: Fredo at August 11, 2010 1:21 PM

As for Bekmambetov, he's great visually but has yet to direct anything remotely intriguing or original.

Posted by: Fredo at August 11, 2010 1:21 PM

Uhhh, Night Watch? Day Watch?

Posted by: -s- at August 12, 2010 3:55 PM