Pajiba

Jay,

Your enthusiasm is infectious.

I'm calling the CDC.

Well, Shakespeare didn't invent all his plots so I'd think he's fair game in that respect. That doesn't mean a "Forbidden Planet" prequel is definitely a good thing to do though.

You don't want my rainbows and ponies, Tammy? Come on, I woke up having one of my gut spasms that tend to last for a few hours and basically just ache like one's back would, though my back can join in too ("What??? What are you tense about??? Everything's fine!!!") so gimme credit for being cheery!

Damn, the CDC's way too close to me, I'd never make it.

"Fucking hell, man. What's next? A sequel to the bible?"

Are you talking about me?

Oooh...a sequel to The Bible. Now THAT is a movie I can stand behind. But what would it be called..."The Bible II: The Prophecy," "Bible: The Quickening," or maybe "Bible2: Electric Bugaloo."

In any instance, this calls for dream-casting:

Morgan Freeman is God, naturally,
Russell Crowe is a tormented Jesus,
Angelina Jolie is a petulant, wet-lipped Mary Magdalene,
And Jay Mohr is John the WACKY Apostle!

So it's a movie about a group of space travelers who fall prey (Pitch Black) to something terrible (Sunshine) in space (Aliens).

Why even call this a 'prequel' if there will probably be next to nothing plot-wise to connect it with a movie the average moviegoer doesn't know a thing about. It's a space movie about Bad Things Happening To People In And Around Space.

... and they already remade that movie the best it's ever gonna get, and it was called Solaris.

No no no.

"On The Move" is what you need to use. And maybe they can retroactively rename it so it'll be "Testamentin' 2: On The Move".

Yes, it could be a hip-hopera if you like, I'm not placing any restrctions here.

I liked the Solaris remake too, twig. I mean, Star Voyager Clooney's appealing enough, but it was actually good too.

Jesus Rides Again?

James Cameron still owes me a public apology for inflicting Titanic and that damned Celine Dion song on all of us.

Eat a sandwich, you stupid, twig-like, screeching Canadian woman!

Book of Mormon, that would be the perfect shittacular Hollywood sequel to Bible.

But what about prequel to Bible? There was nothing and nothing happens while George Costanza eats candy around the Festivus Pole until Jerry comes out and make a shit-loads of money, and light, out of nothing?

Or God forbid the reboot? Who's gonna play Moses this time?

All the weeping gashes who decry any mention of a re-make or re-imagining of ANY former production (or reel toward they fainting-couch if it's a claaaaaassic) need to goddam chill out. Yeah, I know most of the shit outta Hollywood is fucking egregious, but so is the vast majority of all creative output by humans.

Y'all need to parse particulars, for fuck's sake -- it's James Cameron aiming at Forbidden Planet, not Michael Bay re-interpreting Manimal.

All this manufactured angst-for-angst's-sake is giving me the pimp skitters.

Word, firedmyass.

I had a boss once (while working as a software engineer) who said, "Yeah, 90% of software is crap. But 90% of EVERYTHING is crap." My only quibble with her statement might be that the percentage is too low.

Seriously, how often does worthy, creative, original art actually come down the pike? What would we do around here in all the dead time between releases if all the crap could be aborted or filtered?

Che,

My problem is not with the crap. My problem is that even the crap can be enjoyable if done correctly. There are simple, easy-to-follow guidelines for not making shittacular products that nobody ever seems to want to follow

I don't get it. It's like giving someone the IKEA instructions for putting together a two-piece bench and coming back to find the bench on fire, your car missing, and your dog violated.

And then six months later they release the sequel, now with twice the dog violation.

Does this mean Cameron is not making a live action Battle Angel now? Cause that was allegedly his next project & I was very nervous about it.

Well, the shipwreck and island rebellion stuff was Ripped From The Headlines if not the magical plot itself, but my point is that the man could write dialogue. You can either write good dialogue or you can't, so I don't think there's any problem with fucking around with his plots or their ancestors or descendants because your stuff will still have to be good on your own writing merit, and he was doing the same stuff, using the same chord changes and making a new tune, which is what counted. I don't think anyone's plot is Holy because there just aren't enough plots to go around. I'm not pissed that Eoin Colfer is going to write a 6th Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy book, for instance, but it might still be bad. That's up to him.

Well, twig, I suppose the point is worth making only if you think there is a meaningful difference in the result between a failure of imagination and a failure of execution.

I don't generally care which type of failure is in play when I'm trying to decide how to spend my money, but I guess I'm partial to imagination over execution.

if you think there is a meaningful difference in the result between a failure of imagination and a failure of execution.

I'm not sure I'm reading you right, because to me pretty much all movie failures are the result of bad execution.

I think the bucket of 'completely unfilmable ideas' is a pretty small one (although there is a great article somewhere on some of these never-made movies) compared to the 'great in concept, what-the-hell-did-they-do-to-it in execution' pile.

branded, thanks for the assist while my damn job dared to interfere. Anna, it's probably best you heard it from another source. My definition would have been wildly inappropriate for your venue, relying on depressing socio-economic stereotypes and eventually the phrase "ass-pee."

And don't forget "The Right Stuff", Snath (yes of course I credited him in my review).

Well, if I'm being honest, I'll have to say that I've never seen Near Dark and I've only seen bits and pieces of Dog Day Afternoon. However, I'm now going to have to go home and pull out my DVDs of Aliens, Terminator, and Close Encounters, because I recall him in them not at all. Also, I just IMDb'd him, and it turns out he was also in Omen II and "Ryan's Hope", a soap my mom was completely hooked on when I was a kid. Go figure.

and eventually the phrase "ass-pee."

Thank goodness it wasn't you who helped me out with that then, fired. 'Cause I might have to take your screen name after that.
P.S. I became convinced a few weeks ago that someone slipped me some chips with Olestra in them, because of the "pimp skitters". Ha! I'm totally using that all the time now.

Also, here you go, AvB.

http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/080625/Robots/Bishop-Aliens_l.jpg

Remember him in Aliens now?

Conversely, we also sat through The Curious Case of Benjamin Button on Christmas Day. That was a lovely movie, but certainly flawed in its execution -- although I guess I'm not sure how I would classify what I think might be the solutions (e.g., would doing away with the whole Katrina/deathbed framing device be an act of imagination or of execution?).

Interesting intellectual exercises, anyhow.

That's dangerous talk.

Well, I own the entire series on DVD, so I feel I must have. I certainly remember Paul Reiser as the dickhead yuppie guy. I don't know. Have I mentioned my brain issues?

NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is one of the first movies I remember seeing, and, well...
NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey, the sequel to the Bible is called The New Testament, people. It's not part of the Bible.

The Book of Mormon just makes it a trilogy.

Forbidden Planet is just the prequel to the original Star Trek. Take a good look at the scenery, the sets, Ann Francis' dresses, the Doctor on the spaceship (tell me that's not Bones!), and Leslie Neilson as the beefcake (back when he was a serious leading man).

Jay, Have to second you on this one. The Christian Bible, no matter what version, is comprised of both the books of the Old Testament (including the stories of the creation, Abraham, and Moses but not Jesus) AND the books of the New Testament (this is where Jesus enters stage left). Countless years, o.k. countable but I don't like to think too much about it, of Catholic education backs this up. As does the Bilbe itself if you take a look.

Book of Mormon, very funny! But don't discount Xenu. If you pay enough you too can read the secret documents and understand the power and terror of the imprisoned former ruler of the universe/god. Perhaps that will provide material for TWO sequels. Hurrah.

But more to the point - there are people who haven't seen The Forbidden Planet? I once planted my side garden with only red leafed plants and trees like the freaky looking one in the lab but it was just too freaky without any green. Now it's a Doctor Suess garden and only cutely weird plants and trees are allowed in. It's much more pleasant.

Sorry! I hope I get at least one rookie mistake before the beatings commence.

You are forgiven, sprinkles.

Gonna suck like new Star Trek.