First Trailer for "Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part II": Bella Can Jump Around in Trees! Like a Monkey!
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First Trailer for "Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part II": Bella Can Jump Around in Trees! Like a Monkey!

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | June 20, 2012 | Comments ()


The first trailer for Breaking Dawn Part II is out, and it doesn't give us much except knowledge that Bella has indeed survived a complicated pregnancy-and-vampire transformation and that she's now set to go to war against The Volturri. Also, she can run really fast, and she has red eyes, and her core body temperature is the same as her boyfriends, which is really ideal in a suitable life mate.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • BierceAmbrose

    "... and her core body temperature is the same as her boyfriends, which is really ideal in a suitable life mate."

    So, that's what I've been doing wrong all this time.


  • David Sorenson

    Mike Nelson must feel good. This'll be the last Twilight movie they'll have to make a Rifftrax for.

    And if you haven't seen the Twilight Rifftrax, you're missing out. They really are the only reason to watch those damn movies.

  • PDamian

    In the first Twilight movie, Edward calls Bella a spider monkey, and Rosalie calls Emmett her "monkey man." Now, in the final film, Bella flies through the treetops like George of the Jungle. I'm going to be very disappointed if the final film doesn't feature at least one scene of everyone flinging poo at each other.

  • hapl0

    Despite my best efforts, I still got goosebumps all over. I'm going to find a corner to cry in now.

  • Christ on a popsicle, this shit isn't over yet?!

    It's so stupid. It's just so massively, monumentally stupid. And then nothing happens at the end, right? They just stand around and nothing happens.


  • duckandcover

    They made Part 1 and Part 2 to compare to the Harry Potter franchise. Just think about that for a minute.

  • ee

    Yea, the....sheen... is off Michael Sheen. I think he's a good actor, but he's all over the place, and I'm pretty sure in real life he's more of a dick than it seems.

  • John G.

    Who wouldn't want to be a vampire in this world? They don't die in sunlight, and they don't drink human blood, but they live forever, have super strength, can fly through trees like a monkey and have a random super power too??

  • branded_redux

    I don't think I could handle all the Evanescence.

  • David Sorenson

    Evanescence? Far too edgy for these vampires. They prefer navel gazing twee-folk music. The sort of music that puts you into a coma so deep that even Adele cannot wake you.

  • Right? That's always bugged the shit out of me in that dumbass series. That and the fact that they assume that if a human sees a sparkly fuck out in the woods they'll immediately assume they're a vampire. It's just too damn ridiculous.

  • lowercase_ryan

    I'd pay to watch an actual Belamonkey.

  • Thijs

    Lee Pace at 00:52! Yup, when this comes out, I think I'll try to actively ignore it and watch The Fall again instead.

  • L.O.V.E.

    I'm confused. So Snow White is a Vampire, AND is less attractive than the Evil Queen now?

    I don't know if I should praise her agent for getting her these roles despite her lack of talent, or knock her for letting KS be in the same movies as Ashley Greene and Charlize Theron. Two WOMEN who make her look so ordinary?

  • Brown

    I'm kind of sad to see the best ever unintentional comedy series end.
    Ok, not really. Even seeing the "epic" battle look like nothing more than a local pickup game of football with no one watching is hilarious. So epic. So important. So nobody else besides those involved caring. It took four movies to get to this?

  • Muhnah_Muhnah

    DUSTIN! Videos that we can all watch please! I mean...there's a whole youtube out there full of 12 year olds. Surely one of them has stopped crying that Jacob has chosen a younger woman over her long enough to upload the damn thing.

  • BiblioGlow

    Worry not, you're missing absolutely nothing. Here, I'll sum it up for you:
    They do not show or even allude to Jacob falling in love with a toddler Rnsm (I decided her name doesn't deserve vowels) FOR SOME REASON.Everyone's got red eyes, and this, combined with their pallor and customary lethargy, makes them seem like sufferers of some sort of plague.There is a Stewart voiceover. Someone thought that would be cool.F*** this whole thing.

  • lizzieborden

    Oh Michael Sheen. You're better than this.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    Underworld, Twilight, Tron...apparently not.

  • Stephen Nein

    Don't shame the TronSon.

  • I can't wait to see the epic showdown where they stand there and stare at each other for minutes on end and nothing fucking happens. It's gonna be AMAZING!

  • I was just wondering why they showed them all running at each other, because that totally does not happen. They all just sort of stand around using their mind bullets at each other, talking, and then they all leave. Woo.

  • BierceAmbrose

    Mind poo. Sparkly, sparkly mind poo. A weapon so horrible they're reconvening the Geneva Convention just to ban it, along with Charlie Sheen Logic, and Eau De Beiber.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    I'm pretty sure all the monkeys of the world are offended by the comparison you just made, Dustin. Seriously I just e-mailed a baboon and he informed me that his ass has more emotion than Kristen Stewart. Also a better complexion.

  • Malware

    For anyone that was still wondering why she was on the top of the highest paid actresses list, there you go, it's because she can jump around in the trees like a monkey!

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