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First Snow White And The Huntsman Images: I'd Eat That Apple In A Minute

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (31)

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The presence of Kristen Stewart makes me fear this picture. I’m already skeptical of of director Rupert Sanders, who has exactly one credit on his IMDB page — this one. But one things for sure — Snow White And The Huntsman will at least be an interesting take on the story. But I think Stewart will be as listless and lifeless as she was in everything that I’ve seen her in, full of pouty looks and biting lips and dead eyes. But my hope? My hope is that Charlize Theron fucking owns her role as The Queen. I mean shit, look at her:

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That is, as they say, fucking fierce.

Chris Hemsworth as the hunter looks pretty good too:

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Trading the hammer for an axe, I see.

Then there’s Sam Clafin as The Prince, who looks sufficiently dangerous.

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Next, dear little Snow White herself, all dainty and… wait, what?

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Huh. Well that was rather unexpected. Lastly, we have an (unfortunately very lo-res) image of the Seven Dwarfs. Pretty amusing stuff, actually. Particularly the look on McShane’s face:

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(source: The Playlist, Slashfilm)









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Comments

Count again, there are eight! dwarves.

Posted by: clancys_daddy at July 24, 2011 8:18 PM

Stewart as Snow White and Emma Watson as Beauty. Who's next, Dakota Fanning as Cinderella?

I hope they make these dark and Grimm.

Posted by: snapnhiss at July 24, 2011 8:21 PM

snaphiss, Dakota Fanning is so last week. It'll be Chloe Moretz as Cinderella and Elle Fanning as Sleeping Beauty.

Posted by: Robert at July 24, 2011 8:27 PM

I mean shit, look at her

I did.

That is the tackiest costume I've ever seen.

Posted by: Jay at July 24, 2011 8:33 PM

Don't be taken in by images and your hopeful imagination. I actually saw that Amanda Seyfried as Little Red Riding Hood movie.

So limp.

Posted by: AmbroseKalifornia at July 24, 2011 8:44 PM

I have a feeling I'm going to experience second-hand embarassment from watching Stewart "act" against Theron. And who exactly is supposed to be the fairest of them all? If this movie tries to tell me that Kristen McBlinksalot Stewart is more attractive than Charlize Theron, I'm punching some puppies up in this bitch.

Posted by: LaRhue at July 24, 2011 8:47 PM

If Stewart doesn't act, expect lessons from McShane. Deadwood style.
He is 'Grumpy' after all.

This needs to have an R rating, and make the censors cringe granting the rating.

Posted by: Phibbsy at July 24, 2011 9:20 PM

So tired of the lazy re-hashing, re-vamping, costuming and casting in place of writing bullshit

Posted by: Protoguy at July 24, 2011 10:15 PM

Wait, so the dwarves are gonna look like the Red Queen in Burton's Alice in Wonderland? With the giant bobbleheads and all? I found that really disturbing in Alice.

Also, UNGH, Hemsworth. I'm totally sold. Yeah, I'm easy.

Posted by: Figgy at July 24, 2011 10:31 PM

I don't think these dwarves look nearly as good as The Hobbit's. Also, why does Kristen Stewart have a shield from Minas Tirith? I love that the LOTR movies changed how fantasy tends to be filmed, but by the seven gods, how hard is it to come up with an original sigil? (Yes, I referenced Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones in the same comment, get over it.)

Posted by: AngelArm45 at July 24, 2011 10:53 PM

Alright not what I was expecting. Which is good. Well see...

Posted by: logan at July 24, 2011 11:30 PM

Hemsworth has way too much clothing on.

Also, why does the prince look like a low-rent James Franco?

Posted by: Anne At Large at July 25, 2011 1:03 AM

I thought it was the other flick that had the dwarves...?

Posted by: Kristin at July 25, 2011 1:18 AM

Did Chris Hemsworth simply change out modern-day clothes for medieval clothes and a hammer for an axe? Because otherwise he looks identical to Thor.

Posted by: darmatugan at July 25, 2011 2:07 AM

Snow White, hah. Before the Prince woke her up she had seven rather suspicious dents in her hymen.

Posted by: The Wanderer at July 25, 2011 3:33 AM

That's not tacky, it has a certain sophistication that only massed triangular paillettes and ice dancing sleeves can bring.

I'm not sure what Hemsworth's look of hurt bewilderment signifies. Maybe a silent lament for his rather snazzier Thor suit.

Posted by: Rev. H. Powell at July 25, 2011 4:19 AM

Back in 2006 I saw a billboard for a German reboot of the Snow White saga, concentrating solely on the dwarfs. It was titled "The Seven Dwarfs" and had the tagline "The woods are not enough."

Live action, with seven six-foot-plus bodybuilders in the title roles.

Oy.

Posted by: The Wanderer at July 25, 2011 7:14 AM

Kristen "I'm not a lesbian, dude" Stewart trying to stay relevant by attempting to sell her emo wannabe badass attitude as Joan of Arc will be the parody of the year.

There's a reason why Viggo Mortensen and Michael Fassbender passed on the role of the huntsman. The script has been rewritten several times.

Posted by: gale at July 25, 2011 8:11 AM

Aah why is Snow White wearing combat armor?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at July 25, 2011 8:37 AM

If that dwarf doesn't say cocksucker at least once, they're wasting McShane.

Posted by: Snath at July 25, 2011 8:58 AM

Kristen "I'm not a lesbian, dude" Stewart trying to stay relevant by attempting to sell her emo wannabe badass attitude as Joan of Arc will be the parody of the year.

Thank you.

Posted by: haplo at July 25, 2011 9:04 AM

And maybe it's just me but the casting is screwed-up if the uber hot Evil Queen is having a bitch fit over some mall chick.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at July 25, 2011 9:17 AM

So Snow White will use her strange ability to attract woodland creatures with her singing voice as a hunting technique?

"La-la-laaaaa
La-la-la-la-LAAAAAA. . ."

*beheads deer*

Posted by: Kballs at July 25, 2011 9:18 AM

I'm normally ALL ABOUT chicks with swords and shields and armor (Joan of Arc is one of my favorite people in the history of the world). And I don't even really have anything against Kristen Stewart (having not seen any Twilight movies). But somehow this is doing nothing for me.

Posted by: Todd at July 25, 2011 9:23 AM

Snow White stands among Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty and a bunch of other fluffy princesses who are just too frustratingly passive for contemporary audiences, so I (kinda) understand why people are drawn to make these reboots (after the money part, that is). I just hope they don't overdo it so much or so laboriously that it'll make me go "huh?" That's the feeling I got from the Russell Crowe/Cate Blanchett Robin Hood film. Marian's transformation/secret identity just was not congruent with the majority of the film or with the traditional Robin Hood stories that it came off as patronizing. KStew in plate mail might give me the same feeling.

Posted by: sars at July 25, 2011 9:39 AM

Count again, there are eight! dwarves.

Posted by: clancys_daddy at July 24, 2011 8:18 PM
---
Their number had dwindled to eight before the rest of the dwarves began to suspect ... Hungry.

Posted by: , at July 25, 2011 10:24 AM

How is it that Peter Dinklage is more believable playing a pretend dwarf in armor in Knights of Badassdom?

Why is the hunter wearing an 18th century leather pirate outfit, when the prince is dressed for 15th century jousting, the queen is dressed for the DRAG review at the local nightclub, and Snow White is still getting dressed in her LARP outfit, but she forgot her pants or skirt or bloomers or thigh metal?

Posted by: BWeaves at July 25, 2011 10:59 AM

What is the plot of this? SnowWhite and Huntsman like the two of them are a couple? a hunting team? anti-dwarf vigillantes? How does the Prince fit in?

Posted by: ArmaAngelus at July 25, 2011 11:40 AM

Their number had dwindled to eight before the rest of the dwarves began to suspect ... Hungry.
Posted by: , at July 25, 2011 10:24 AM

OF COURSE! How could we have missed that?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at July 25, 2011 11:50 AM

@The Wanderer

Bodybuilders? Somehow I think you mixed up two different genres next. The movie you are referring to is a very, very dumb comedy featuring 7 of the most unfunny - but inexplicable famous - German comedians (or comics?) they could find.

Oh, and it's the second part of a series.

Posted by: FabMax at July 26, 2011 9:14 AM

Kristen Stewarts head looks crazy big in that picture. That is all I take from it, is her head looks ginourmous. Theron is going to kill this.

Posted by: Nadine at July 28, 2011 8:49 AM