First Looks At Anastasia and Christian From '50 Shades Of Grey' Will Give You Such A Screaming Bore-gasm
Entertainment Weekly has the first images of the 50 Shades Of Grey leads Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan together. Is this really the best we can do, America? Are these the faces of your steamiest fantasies? I’ve never been more bored by erotica in my life. Sneakers? SNEAKERS?! Both Johnson and Dornan are so much better than this. YOU’RE better than this, America. Get it together.
Did she fall asleep? Did that sadist bore her to death?!
Christ, he can’t even muster enough oomph to convincingly bite his thumb at us.
News also surfaced today that 50 Shades is getting a 2015 Valentine’s Day release. So, fellas, ladies, look back fondly on the era of Nicholas Sparks. We’ve moved on to something much more feeble now.
Pajiba Love Express
Here's some Daveed Diggs for you. On Daveed Diggs' digs, actually. That man does things with clothes that should not make sense, but are absolutely perfect. (Go Fug Yourself)
Woody Allen has "so moved on" from his daughter's accusations and says he never even thinks about it. He equates her words about him to a bad review he won't read and comments on how wacky it is that Mia Farrow is his mother-in-law. He is the worst. (Celebitchy)
Not The Worst but still very gross: Leonardo DiCaprio and his
Here are 5 under-the-radar shows. I had never even heard of the first two. (Uproxx)