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Shah! Whip It! Whip It Good!

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | July 9, 2009 |


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First, a completely off topic, kind of embarrassing anecdote: A couple of weeks ago, you may recall I wrote a thesis on the tininess of Michael Bay's penis. At the end of that review, hoping to preempt the inevitable jabs on my own funny bits, I signed off with this: Dustin Rowles is the publisher of Pajiba. He hides his small penis behind petty insults and personal attacks on Hollywood directors.

Anyway, I guess one of our readers -- an international journalist -- saw the sign-off and, coincidentally, was doing a story on that very subject. So, last week, I got an email from this lovely woman, who was having some difficulty finding people to interview. She wrote:

I probably shouldn't take it so literally, but do you really overcompensate because of a small micropenis?

I'm a journalist ... doing research on the subject, and I'm having a hard time - if not impossible - finding people who are willing to talk about it. Even anonymously. So here I go. Do you have a micropenis and could I do a serious interview about it with you?

Needless to say, responding to that email was more than a little awkward.

Moving on:

I met a woman in a bar a couple of weeks ago who'd just got out of roller derby practice, and she was nice enough to explain the complete rules of the sport to me. And though she did an exemplary job of explaining it, I still don't fucking understand it. But I am a heterosexual male (allegedly), and according to the straight code, I am required to enjoy the act of chicks violently roller skating. Which brings me to this: The first official images released from Whip It, Drew Barrymore's directorial debut about a indie misfit in Texas (Ellen Page) who finds solace in roller derby. It also stars Kristen Wiig (as Malice in Wonderland), Drew Barrymore (as Smashley Simpson), Julliette Lewis (as Dinah Mite), and even Eve (as Rosa Sparks).

Who the hell knows if it's going to be any good, but -- via USA Today -- the images are kind of cool.

Check them out:

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