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Another Day, Another Reboot

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (20)

Firestarter-stephen-king-72833_1024_768.jpg

It must be a day ending in ‘y’ because another old film from the eighties is getting the reboot treatment. Today’s entry in the collection is Firestarter, a decent Stephen King novel, and a pretty good 1984 movie with a horrible 2002 sequel. It’s not the worst movie they could remake, but they’re certainly going to have a hell of a time topping the original’s cast: Drew Barrymore, Martin Sheen, Heather Locklear, and George C. Scott.

Variety reports that the reboot is “expected to be loosely based on the original King book, but with an effort to reinvent the main character with a little more edge.”

Oh that makes total sense, because that novel is a real laugh a minute ride. Let’s review that thirty year old novel with some massive spoilers as to just how unedgy it is. Okay, we’ve got a little girl who can start fires with her brain. And not little fires either. Towards the end of the novel she is melting cinderblocks without any effort and there’s speculation that if she tried she could actually set off a nuclear chain reaction through sheer mental force. Real after school special stuff there. Kidnapped, held by government, check. Mom gets killed violently, check. Dad gets killed violently, check. Kid in question repeatedly massacres people by lighting them on fire and if they fight back she melts their bullets out of the air, check and check. It’s been a few years, but I’m pretty sure that Charlie is the only character who actually manages to survive the entire novel.

I’m not complaining about this, and I’m certainly not complaining about a movie wanting to make things dark and edgy, except in so far as saying that means you probably aren’t actually going to do that. I’m really just wondering how the hell you take that story and make it edgier.

Oh that’s right. They’ll make her fifteen instead of seven, cast someone off of the Disney channel who can pout on command, and give her a love interest off of the CW. Edgy my ass.

(source: Blastr)









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Comments

Didn't that sequel on Syfy channel with Margueritte Moreau teach anyone anything????

Posted by: Teresa at December 15, 2010 10:09 AM

Evidently not.

So, will Demi Lovato be out of rehab in time?

Posted by: Uncle JR at December 15, 2010 10:15 AM

Don't forget about the PG rating.

Also, Spambot, if you're going to clutter up these pages with your TallMingling; have the decency to fire off a FIRST!!!!1111!!11!1 too. Jerk.

Posted by: admin at December 15, 2010 10:16 AM

...a pretty good 1984 movie with a horrible 2002 sequel.

Instantly added to Netflix instant queue. Can't wait to come home, smoke dope, and savor this cheesy and horrific goodness.

Posted by: superasente at December 15, 2010 10:20 AM

Remake, goddamn it. I am not using words just because I'm told I have to.

Suck it, Sci-Fi channel.

Posted by: twig at December 15, 2010 10:44 AM

Wasn't the "Firestarter" novel already more or less a reboot of "Carrie"? Even King had no respect for the past.

Posted by: , at December 15, 2010 10:45 AM

I'd love to see a movie done about this that would be a spiritual successor to Let the Right One In

Posted by: twig at December 15, 2010 10:48 AM

the original film is a classic. the only thing that didn't age well is the sound effect that accompanies the nose bleed notifying you her dad is using his jedi mind tricks.

Posted by: idleprimate at December 15, 2010 10:50 AM

I said it twice yesterday, but I shall re-iterate, because it angers me: What is the purpose of giving a terrified 8-year-old "edge"?!

It's stupid.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at December 15, 2010 11:11 AM

My movie watching experience is now devolving into a mere exercise of trying to see how badly film makers can fuck up a pretty good premise.

What happened to "if it ain't broke don't fix it"?
Maybe they'll shock me and bring out a pretty decent flick.
I can only hope.

Posted by: Four Eyes at December 15, 2010 11:20 AM

That book scared the hell out of me when I was 14.

**SPOILER**
The worst was the mind games the dad could play with people...and the description of how the guy died by putting his...in the garbage disposal...lord.

Posted by: jvo at December 15, 2010 11:23 AM

I bet you're right that "edgy" probably equals aging her up, but I also think that "edge" is a buzzword of indictment for the entire decade of the 80s. Generally if we hear that an 80s movie is being remade, we assume (whether we saw it or not) that it had to be cheesy and non-gritty. (I never saw Firestarter or read the book.)

Posted by: DarthCorleone at December 15, 2010 11:57 AM

You know they'll probably use one of the Fanning sisters...Hello, Push II.

Posted by: MaryB. at December 15, 2010 12:41 PM

Her rampage at the end of the movie was just chilling. She laid waste to that facility and didn't care who stood in her way. It was just unbridled rage. So hopefully they'll do that again, but maybe she can skin the lab workers, explode their eye balls, bathe in their blood and THEN incinerate them. For edge.

I think the series should be like The Incredible Hulk tv show mixed with The A-Team. Who wouldn't want to hire a precocious 8 year old to solve problems (with FIRE) that no one else can solve? The clients will be taken in by her adorable and innocent demeanor but less charmed by her knack for burning everyone and everything down around her when she has a bad dream. In the end they will come to understand and pity her and Charlie will try to make a home before her pursuers inevitably find her again. Luckily she will escape the clutches of the evil military/corporation just in time (using FIRE) and continue her lonely trek across the nation in search of a Chuck-E-Cheese that won't burn to the ground when she loses at Skee Ball.

Posted by: TylerDFC at December 15, 2010 12:45 PM

Yeah, I agree that "edge" means: make her juuust old enough to do some sexin'.

Completely ignoring that what makes the original work is mostly the juxtaposition of how young/small/innocent she is with her fiery wrath, and also the sheer uncontrollable terror/horror someone that young would feel upon losing her parents.

Posted by: MM at December 15, 2010 2:41 PM

About the original cast: you left off David Keith who was probably the best thing about the movie and you included George C Scott, who was probably the worst.

Georgie C played a Native American. Just wrap your brain around that for a second. Plus he was in his "paycheck" mode. In fact he was probably the inspiration for Christopher Walken in that regard.

And you can be sure that they'll age the little girl up to at least a tween. Which may not be the worst thing. It's awfully hard to find an eight year old who can act, especially in this kind of flick.

Posted by: ed newman at December 15, 2010 2:42 PM

"Wasn't the "Firestarter" novel already more or less a reboot of "Carrie"?"

Uh, no.

Carrie is about a teenager with a psychotic abusive mother who can't fit in at school. And she's also telekinetic.

Firestarter about an eight year old girl who can start fires with her mind. Her parents love her and want to protect her, and she is on the run from government agents who want to kidnap her, experiment on her, and then kill her and cut up her brain so they can figure out how to make more of her.

But the main characters are both female, so you're close.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at December 15, 2010 5:29 PM

Yeah, thanks, I can't see any other similarities there.

Posted by: , at December 16, 2010 1:40 AM

The inevitable casting:
Carrie - Elle Fanning
Rainwater - Nicholas Cage
Nuff said.

Posted by: cinekat at December 16, 2010 8:48 AM

And don't forget Rainbird's death crush on poor Charlie. That was creepy...i miss creepy SK books.

Posted by: stryker1121 at December 16, 2010 6:43 PM