Fight A T-800? I Want Cruise To Be A Pocket Terminator
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Fight A T-800? I Want Cruise To Be A Pocket Terminator

By Jodi Clager | Trade News | December 7, 2012 | Comments ()

Terminated Tom Cruise.jpg

iPad has a mini. We have Mini Coopers. Miniature horses. Why can't we have Tom Cruise as a Mini Terminator? It would be adorable! He could hide in John Conner's pocket or maybe pose as a child to get to him. It could totally happen.

Megan Ellison (financier ofZero Dark Thirty, Lawless, The Master) owns the rights to The Terminator franchise. Now, guess who her brother is. No, that doesn't even make sense! Her brother is David Ellison, Super Happy Funtime Pal of Tom Cruise. Male Ellison has backed the Cruise endeavor Jack Reacher and some of the Mission: Impossible movies. He's also one of the guys that can get movies made in Hollywood just by being involved. You cram all of this information together and you can pop out the rumor/idea that Cruise could be involved in a future Terminator project.


The Ellison siblings have scrapped previously attached Justin Lin (Fast Five) from the project. Apparently Lin's version had Arnie Schwarzenegger returning, probably for real instead of creepily CGI-ing his head onto a stunt double's torso. *cough*Terminator Salvation*cough* So, if we are blessed with a new Terminator, where the hell do they go with it?


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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Jim Slemaker

    Mini-Terminator vs Mini-Jack Reacher. Cage match. To death.

  • BWeaves

    I was going to suggest having Tom Cruise, as a Mini-me Terminator battle the real Mini-me in a cross between Austin Powers and The Terminator, and then I remembered that Cruise already played Austin Powers in that movie within a movie, and I'm actually upset that it already happened and it sucked flaming monkey balls dipped in gleet.

  • I realize this will never happen in a million bajillion years (and is, in fact, like comparing apples to oranges), but I'd really rather see a movie about what happened to John Conner when he got sent to the future at the end of T:TSCC.

  • Groundloop

    Or we could just avoid this mess altogether and have Harlan Ellison kidnap and imprison Megan and David Ellison while he writes a new Terminator script.

    He'd likely be up for it too. The crazy old bastard is a scrapper.

  • Also, he has secret passageways in his house (true story), so he could hide them pretty effectively.

  • NateMan

    A Terminator Cruise would be about as intimidating as a quadriplegic puppy.

    On an unrelated note, do you think he refers to his penis as the 'Cruise Missile'? It's quite the missed opportunity if he doesn't.

  • lowercase_ryan

    Pleeeeeeeeease do this, but put him in a Buzz Lightyear costume.

  • When the Ellison's bought the property a while back right around the time Arnold said he was coming out of retirement my first thought was how cool it would be if the next story was if a pocket of the resistance (and let's just let John Conner sit this one out so we can allow the Furlong/Stahl/Bale mess to congeal in the corner while we work on giving Conner a proper story down the line somewhere) were to come across a lone survivalist out in the woods. An old-man-strong hugely bearded (cuz beards are the shit, especially on old men) Schwarzenegger, who we find out was a badass super solider before the uprising that Skynet modeled the T-800 after. He then joins up and leads the resistance against a bunch of CGI Young-Arnie T-800's.

  • Buck Forty

    Hey! That was MY idea - don't get in the way of my lawsuit dude, or I'll cut you. Because you know that is so the way they're gonna make the movie.

  • hapl0


  • Quatermain

    I would watch the hell out of that movie right there

  • TK

    That's a pretty fucking solid idea there.

  • Maguita NYC

    That top pic of Terminator Cruise is awesome!

    Why not have a Terminator/The Master merge: Mini-Cruise goes back in time/future and fights an evil Philip Seymour Hoffman on a Apocalyptic/Xenubic Judgement Day.

  • zeke_the_pig

    That's a Terminator Cruise? I thought it was just before the face is fully applied in the morning

  • Maguita NYC

    You are half right. That is what Terminator Cruise looks like before the Thetan implanted within his control unit, wakes-up/reboots for the day.

  • Donut Plains

    Yes he's an unbalanced psycho, and yes he's still kind of pretty, but that red eye is seriously a good look for him. It's both more true to his personality and actually makes him look like a badass. Get thee to thine nearest ophthalmologist Spawn of Xenu, and get some contacts like that.

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