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March 4, 2009 |

By Miscellaneous | Industry | March 4, 2009 |

Salutations, fellow geeks! It is I, Vermillion, here to deliver the proclamations coming from Hollywood et al about those items which concern/excite/infuriate/debase us. Once again, I must ask those unbelievers among us to depart, for you are not willing to witness such things, and nobody likes a holy buzzkill.

It has been announced that not only will “Family Guy” do two follow-ups to their Star Wars parody “Blue Harvest” (beginning with next season’s take on The Empire Strikes Back), but they will also be doing an episode focusing on “Star Trek: The Next Generation,” reuniting “American Dad” voice Patrick Stewart with former co-stars Levar Burton, Gates McFadden, Michael Dorn, Wil Wheaton, Denise Crosby, Marina Sirtis, Brent Spiner and Jonathan Frakes.

A description of the episode: Stewie blows a fuse when he doesn’t get a chance to ask his favorite ‘Star Trek: The Next Generation’ cast members any questions. He devises a plan, builds a transporter and beams the entire cast to his bedroom so they can spend a fun-filled day together in Quahog.

Being of the generation raised during “TNG,” I was always more partial to it (and DS9) than the Original Series. This news depresses me, since I wasn’t really that impressed with “Blue Harvest.” Personally, I would rather have them reunite on “Gargoyles” again. But Jesus, they pulled out Tasha Yar for this? I may have to watch it after all. She is the reason pixie cuts get me all hot and bothered.

From the mouth of Phillip J. Fry himself: After the success of the DVD films (despite naysayers), Fox is considering (note: considering) giving the green light to a 6th television series of “Futurama.” As one of those who have enjoyed all the films so far, I am ecstatic. Here is Billy West mentioning it during an interview with HippoJuice:

And here is a bonus video, “Watcharama”:

Warner Bros. is furthering its gamble on comic-book films with the announced Suicide Squad, based on the team of the same name from DC Comics. The Suicide Squad is an ever-changing roster of incarcerated super villains plucked from prison by the government. They are then sent on secret missions (ones deemed too dangerous and/or dirty for superheroes) as expendable assets. It is an awesome idea for a movie, and not that surprising a pick for the WB, due to the Joker in The Dark Knight getting such accolades. Justin Marks (easily the most over-hired screenwriter in Hollywood, and the pen that gave us Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li) is being approached for the script, which doesn’t give me hope. I wonder if Gail Simone (the comic series Secret Six) does movie work?

Mini-diversion: Who the hell is going to play hardass Squad head Amanda Waller? Let’s see: a heavyset African-American woman with near-unlimited power and influence, a “might make right” attitude, and little in the way of ethics or compassion when her mind is set on something….? My pick: Oprah. Hey, you may hate her, but the woman can act. And it isn’t like she has to stretch much here. (Publisher’s Note: Tyler Perry?)

Guillermo del Toro (who is either saving up for a villa on the Moon, or really hates downtime) is producing yet another movie. Splice stars Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley, and the description is definitely up del Toro’s alley:

The film is about Elsa and Clive, two young rebellious scientists, defy legal and ethical boundaries and forge ahead with a dangerous experiment: splicing together human and animal DNA to create a new organism. Named Dren, the creature rapidly develops from a deformed female infant into a beautiful but dangerous winged human-chimera, who forges a bond with both of her creators - only to have that bond turn deadly.

There are some freaky-looking pictures from the movie here.

Ed Helms (the lesser known, yet still awesome, “Daily Show”/”The Office” transfer) has just inked a deal with Warner Bros to star in his first major motion picture. He will be the lead role in an as-yet-untitled comedy about a history buff and Civil War re-enactor who gets transport back in time to the actual Civil War and must find a way to return to the present while avoiding changing history. It doesn’t hurt that the film is being produced by Carousel Productions, the new venture by Steve Carell and Vance DeGeneres, another “Daily Show” alum (and Ellen’s brother). Helms is also starring in two more WB projects: the Todd Phillips-helmed The Hangover and A Whole New Hugh, currently stuck in the Apatow warehouse of comedy. I am giving Helms my money for just about anything, especially after the “stealth Prius runover” gag.

For probably the first time ever, I am jealous of the Canadians. Director Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz) has taken over Toronto’s Bloor Cinema for the month of March, beginning his reign of terror this past weekend with both of his films back-to-back, and following with double bills every Saturday all the way into April. Here is the current schedule:

Mar. 1st: 7pm Shaolin Soccer / 9:30pm - Riki-Oh
Mar. 8th: 7pm The Wanderers / 9:30pm - The Warriors
Mar. 14th: 9:45pm - Head
Mar. 15th: 7pm Dames / 9pm - Phantom of the Paradise
Mar. 22nd: 5pm - Spaced Marathon
April. 5th: 7pm Five Fingers Of Death / 9:30pm Drunken Master 2
April 12th: 7pm The Brood / 9pm Last Night

A fucking “Spaced” Marathon on the big screen. You hockey-loving bastards better appreciate this.

Matt Damon (of “I’m Fucking…” fame, as well as some movies) is getting Adjusted. Following in his buddy Ben Affleck’s footsteps in adapting a Phillip K. Dick short story, Damon is attached to The Adjustment Bureau, a project he is shopping around with Bourne Ultimatum scribe George Nolfi. The film will feature Damon as a man who realizes that reality is a soundstage being manipulated and maintained by mysterious guardians. In “sell to producers” terms, it is a cross between Dark City and The Truman Show. While waiting to sell this project to a studio, Damon and Nolfi are reuniting with director Paul Greengrass on a new Bourne movie, not based on any of the novels (so get that Bourne movie title pool ready).

My Comic Recommendation: Manhunter from DC Comics. Kate Spencer is a federal prosecutor in Los Angeles. She is also a newly-divorced mom struggling to balance work with her son. But when a supervillain escapes and kills two guards (a supervillain Kate failed to get sentenced to death), she loots the city’s evidence room and, using her newfound equipment, becomes the latest Manhunter by killing said escaped criminal. The situation gets more complicated when she forces help from a former professional henchman now in Witness Protection. A book that could have gone down the Punisher route, instead writer Marc Andreyko focuses more on the personal struggles Kate goes through, whether it be her best friend investigating her, being stalked by someone killing all previous “Manhunters,” or the secret behind her family’s link to a legendary superhero team. It feels more like a good TV show than a comic, and like said good show got cancelled several times due to low readership. Track down the trades and check it out.

Claude Weaver III, aka Vermillion, is going to have the most boring Spring Break ever next week. Maybe he can finally update his blog, Vermillion’s Brain Receptacle.

The Weekly Geek / Claude Weaver III

Industry | March 4, 2009 |

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