Explosions, Aliens, and Angst: Three Different Trailers or a Michael Bay Coming of Age Comedy?

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Explosions, Aliens, and Angst: Three Different Trailers or a Michael Bay Coming of Age Comedy?

By Jodi Clager | Trade News | January 4, 2013 | Comments ()


We begin with the trailer that elicited the biggest yawn from me this morning. Ginger & Rosa stars Elle Fanning as Ginger, a 17-year-old growing up in 1960s London. The threat of nuclear war and the onset of family troubles start to reshape her world and her relationship with her best friend, Rosa (Alice Englert). This movie might be your bag, baby, but it ain't mine.

A Good Day To Die Hard trailer has the most explosions of the three here, unless you count the explosion of hormones and emotion in Ginger & Rosa. Bruce Willis is once again John McClane, Badass Motherf*cker, and he is in Russia to help his wayward son. But wait! His son is actually a CIA Operative Motherf*cker and kind of looks like Sam Worthington! Papa McClane and Offspring McClane join forces to stop a smug asshole criminal. Wheee!

The final trailer is for Dark Skies, starring Keri Russell, J.K. Simmons, and Josh "You'll Always Be Incestuous To Me" Hamilton. I'm not saying that this movie is about aliens, but it's about aliens.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • David Sorenson

    The final installment. Dead Hard. Ninety minutes of Bruce Willis' open casket funeral culminates in Michael Bay detonating the fuck out of the casket.

    Speaking of dibs. If there isn't already a necrophiliac porn movie called Die Hard, I'd like to claim it. Sure it'd be small royalties tied to a specific market, but every penny counts.

  • Wapshin

    And Annette Benning, based on the stage performance of Linda Hunt as Edna Mode.

  • Blake

    Ginger and Rosa - Elle Fanning is 14 but plays a 17 year old?

  • MurderBot

    Huh! After the Die Hard clip I saw a trailer thumbnail of what looked like Colin Farrell in something called Dead Man Down which I'd never heard of, but which I'm now very keen to see. Good job, trailer!

    Die Hard, of course, doesn't need a trailer because it's Die Hard. I'll be watching it regardless.

  • koko temur

    After this trailer, i will be seeing Die Hard on the opening day. I'm a semi-intelligent person, how is that even possible?

  • Carlito

    "Bruce Willis is once again John McClane, Badass Motherf*cker, and he is in Russia to help his wayward son."

    Carry on my wayward son.
    They'll be pieces when we are done.
    Lay their weary heads to waste.
    Yipee-ki-yay m'fuckers.

  • almond

    Elle's English accent is all over the place. Was there no young British actress available?

  • TK

    The only thing about A Good Day To Die Hard that piques my interest is that the son is played by Jai Courtney, who was easily the best part of Jack Reacher.

    Otherwise, thank you no. Though it is nice to see Keri Russell working.

  • NateMan

    Russell and Simmons deserve better.

  • bbmcrae

    "Die Hard" is the blue-ist looking movie ever.

  • zeke_the_pig

    I'll just go ahead and pitch some future Die Hard titles:

    'Die Hard, and Good Night'

    'Die Hard, Die' (Actually German for 'The Hard, The', but you can use it.)

    'Die Hard's Adventure Through the Looking Glass'

    I see any of these on a movie poster of the future and I am suing like a motherfucker.

  • Green_Eggs_and_Hamster

    Waiting to Die Hard (Reunites John McClane and Zeus as they sit under a tree waiting for an East European to come steal the tree)

    Night of the Living who Die Hard (Obvious Zombie Spin-off John and Son are trapped in a Mall surrounded by Eastern European Zombies who are not actually trying to get in the Mall but have an overly convoluted scheme to get all the Brains from the local Morgue)

    Superbad to Die Hard (John goes to get his other Son from a High School Party that is actually an overly convoluted scheme to steal the entire Pentagon Budget or something)

  • BlackRabbit

    Sadly there is already a film called Hard to Die or I would have suggested that as the zombie title.

  • Carlito

    Just name it Die Hard & Harderer and be done with it.

  • NateMan

    Die Herd: McClane gives up the cop life, only to have vaguely European terrorists try to take over his sheep ranch.
    Die Hoard: McClane Vs. Smaug. Enough said.

  • David Sorenson

    Die Hoarder. The sequel to Die Hoard. The McClane family stages an intervention to make John give up him massive and obsessive collection of guns and ammunition.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Die Hood: Prince of Thieves - McClane becomes an outlaw with a wonky accent that robs from the rich and gives to the poor. Featuring Alan Rickman as the Sheriff of NottingHans.

    Die Hard, Bill: The long-awaited re-teaming of Willis and Tarantino has McClane called to investigate the mysterious disappearance of Beatrix Kiddo ten years after the supposed death of a certain flute-playing baby daddy.

  • zeke_the_pig

    Die Hard to the Future - McClane travels back in time to make sure that his parents meet and marry at a high school dance but then Joseph Gordon-Levitt shoots him in the face and Crispin Glover is ecstatic that something in his life finally equals the visions in his head.

  • koko temur

    i love you

  • NateMan

    Die Hard Another Day (McClane and Bond join forces on a cross-Atlantic roadtrip filled with zany adventures).
    What Dies Hard in Vegas, Stays Dead in Vegas
    Die Harddigan (McClane is joined by a wisecraking Irish priest)

  • BWeaves

    You forgot "Die Hard Vampire Slayer"

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