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Exclusive: Warner Brothers Developing Swashbuckling Don Quixote

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (19)

Monica-Bellucci-4.jpg

I know I have absolutely no business liking this idea, especially as Miguel Cervantes’ Don Quixote is one of my all-time favorite novels, and especially given that the 1500 page book is about to be completely bastardized by the machinations of a big-budget schlocky Hollywood producer but damnit: I can’t help myself. Warner Brothers and producer Joel Silver (Sherlock Holmes, every blockbuster action pic in the 1980s) are fast-tracking a Don Quixote film as an eventual tentpole picture.

And yes: Their intention is clear. They’re going to muck up the original story completely. It’s being described as a Pirates of Caribbean-style swashbuckling version of a story in which we discover that Don Quixote isn’t crazy and that there is, in fact, a fantasy world. Don’z gonna get him some windmill, folks.

After years of struggles and setbacks and even a death, Terry Gilliam’s The Man Who Killed Don Quixote movie is apparently moving ahead (I’ll see it when I believe it), but it’s doubtful that his low-budget version would put up much of a conflict. It might even provide a modicum of exposure. But this will be to Cervantes what Robert Downey’s Sherlock Holmes was to Arthur Conan Doyle. Big, brash, and kind of dumb. Hopefully, it’ll have the same energy, at least. The only difference, of course, is that there’s not a particularly large built-in audience for Quixote (maybe internationally?). But find the right cast, crack the right story (the pitch is out to writers now), and it’s possible to make a fun summmer blockbuster with a modicum of intelligence out of this. I’m not holding my breath, but I will make one small suggestion.

Cast this woman as Dulcinea. She has beautiful peasant written all over her. And if she doesn’t, maybe I can do the writing.

Monica-Bellucci-monica-bellucci-475893_1024_768.jpg









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Comments

Dustin, you are doing some fine, fine work today.
I'll be in my in camera meeting to discuss personal details.

Posted by: admin at June 11, 2010 10:49 AM

For clarification, this is not an adaptation of the awful Man of La Mancha musical, right? Cause I don't think I could stomach a Hollywood actor singing "The Impossible Dream." I mean, I hate the song already on principle, but seeing it get all Depp'd up in a big screen adaptation might send me to live in a cave.

Posted by: Robert at June 11, 2010 11:10 AM

I tried to read "Don Quixote," I really really tried. I got a little more than halfway through. And it's one of your all-time favorites? Um, OK.

Posted by: , at June 11, 2010 11:46 AM

Jack Black as Don Quixote. Jonah Hill as Sancho Panza. The script writes itself.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at June 11, 2010 11:54 AM

Optimus, you forgot the all important, "Hilarious hijinks ensue!".

Posted by: Groundloop at June 11, 2010 2:23 PM

they are aware that they are all going to die, right?

Posted by: rio at June 11, 2010 6:28 PM

I liked the book, a lot. Maybe it was because it was the only thing keeping my mind off of the hurricane tearing at our doorsteps, but I remember being tickled by it. So many romances--and buckets! I'm sure the original book could be re-written several times over before this film gets a decent adaptation and even throught that I just don't see the point. Take a lesson from Lost In La Mancha because it proves that the universe doesn't either.

So he's not crazy, now? Balls in Mingha Sauce, why even get out of bed? So, what, is he going to fight the G8 and G20 summits now or stage some kind of 'Where Are They Now' Grand-Monsters of Rock reunion?

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at June 11, 2010 8:05 PM

Imma take down the bastards like they're freakin windmills. I will sing that Dream the Impossible Dream song at them till they puke. Then I'll beat them over the head with my hardback copy of the novel. And when they're defeated, I'll surround them with mirrors so they can see the monsters they truly are.

Posted by: The Almighty Revenge Goddess at June 11, 2010 8:47 PM

Joel Siver? Really?? He's produced a few choice movies, but it's mostly been shameless schlock. I don't care what you say, Dustin, Sherlock Holmes sucked large horse cock (I almost mistakenly wrote "horde" cock, which might actually be a choice put-down). Way to ruin MY favorite childhood book, Guy fucking Ritchie and gang (even RDJ.)

Posted by: Uriah Creep at June 11, 2010 10:42 PM

Also, Dustin, please keep the beautiful female header pictures coming. You have a gift. Am I still allowed to say num num num?

Posted by: Uriah Creep at June 11, 2010 10:43 PM

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Monica.

Posted by: Magiel at June 13, 2010 7:27 PM

I have been meaning to post about something like this on one of my blogs and this has given me an idea. TY.

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Getting information off the Web is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. ~Mitch Kapor, variation of a quote by Jerome Weisner (Getting an schooling from MIT is like taking a drink from a hearth hose.)

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