By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (20)
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Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 20, 2010 10:50 AM
Who could play Sergey Brin and Larry Page? Zach Braff and maybe Joel Moore.
You're welcome, casting directors.
Posted by: Kaleena at August 20, 2010 10:55 AM
Man, who the hell do you cast as these guys? There’s not a lot of weak chins in Hollywood, folks.
So easy: Zach Braff and Justin Long.
Posted by: figgy at August 20, 2010 10:59 AM
Mmm... Carla Gugino...
Posted by: RobP at August 20, 2010 11:00 AM
Wow, Everything Must Go sounds good.
Posted by: Roll Equals Cute at August 20, 2010 11:30 AM
If Farrell can recapture his Stranger Than Ficture magic, I'm there.
Plus: Rebecca Hall!
Posted by: The Other Agent Johnson at August 20, 2010 11:42 AM
Yay! Topher Grace! That boy is funny.
A stop motion Addams Family? How very Tim Burton of him. Let's hope he gets bogged down in the technical/design aspects and doesn't provide such a great story. Why change his M.O. now?
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at August 20, 2010 11:48 AM
Is Everything Must Go based on the Raymond Carver short story?
Posted by: avocadolime at August 20, 2010 11:57 AM
Can we now start using "Burtoned" as a verb? I feel like we're there. "Wow, what happened to you? You're all dead and jerky?" "Yeah I know, I was Burtoned."
Posted by: admin at August 20, 2010 12:03 PM
"Sergey Brin and Larry Page. Man, who the hell do you cast as these guys?" Easy, Zach Quinto and Greg Gruneberg. But then JJ Abrams would get involved... which couldn't hurt, now that I think about it.
Posted by: the cox at August 20, 2010 12:13 PM
Yeah, Everything Must Go is based on Carver’s great short “Why Don’t You Dance,” and just reading the description the film isn’t very likely to be much like the spare short awesome source material, which has already been made as a short before. That doesn’t mean it won’t be good, it just won’t be very Carver-ish, I imagine.
Posted by: Harry Coverts at August 20, 2010 12:36 PM
Those breasts.... they should be put under 2 feet of reinforced glass in a monument in DC, available for showing twice a year. Of course, of course... lest you think I'm a sicko, the rest of her would be attached. Other than the semi-annual public viewings and accompanying holidays, they would be kept under my supervision, where I would be paid to maintain them, and keep them in peak condition. When the time comes, I will lead the restoration team, keeping them perky and full, and perhaps tastefully larger. I would fake a terrorist threat against them to consolidate my control over them, and generate public interest and sympathy. Eventually, I would lobby for an additional exhibition of her ass.. for a more multidimensional, interactive tourist experience.
Posted by: logar at August 20, 2010 12:43 PM
Covert Affairs being renewed really takes the shine off of my belief that Burn Notice might indeed be a good show.
Posted by: Really at August 20, 2010 12:50 PM
I think Everything Must Go looks excellent. I'm a sucker for those laid-back, sad sack comedy leads. Ferrell looks like he captured that here.
Also, Carla Gugino could...fight my mother.
God damn it. There is no possible sexual subtext to that.
Fine.
Carla Gugino could have sex with me.
...if you know what I mean. *nudge nudge wink wink*
Posted by: A-schaef at August 20, 2010 12:56 PM
I've always hated that stupid 'MILF' term, it's not even accurately abbreviated.
However, I can look at that Carla Gugino picture again and again and never get tired of looking at it. Again and again
Posted by: abliac at August 20, 2010 2:37 PM
Of course those two ostrich-like geeks will probably end up being portrayed by folks more along the lines of Christian Bale and Paul Rudd. Because nothing is hotter than Google. Except for googling boobies. Heehehee! Boobies!
Posted by: penelope at August 20, 2010 2:40 PM
Also: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle reboot?
I weep at the crass unoriginality of the world. Why don't we just remake every movie that didn't spawn a series sequels from about 4 years ago?
That way, maybe this time they can catch heat. And the world can finally get the deserved sequels to that little-seen gem, Fool's Gold.
Fool's Gold II: The Quest for the Ghost Yacht. In which it essentially the exact same as the original installment, except the jokes seem (somehow) staler. And the supernatural is brought in.
Fool's Gold III: Back on Board. In which the offspring of the two main characters learns of his parents' "adventures" from the first two movies. And does pretty much the same thing they did.
Fool's Gold IV: Land, Ho. In which very little relates back to the other installments, except there is a boat. And hookers.
Of course, they'll use roman numerals to make everything classier.
Posted by: penelope at August 20, 2010 2:51 PM
Oh I see you making coherent sentences about whatever the fuck Dustin is on about, but I'm afraid I can't join in. I'm sure you're all insightful and funny, but...I can't get past that picture. I'm sorry...it's just...wow...you couldn't find one where she's wearing a ski-mask, could you?
Posted by: Joker at August 20, 2010 4:27 PM
In that photo Sergey Brin looks a bit like Shane Carruth.
Posted by: Lexorcist at August 20, 2010 7:09 PM
Could you have mentioned more shit movies that no one wants to see in one posting than you just did here? That's it, I am going back to reading books.
Posted by: Kwesi Mfume at August 24, 2010 4:49 PM
"with the intention of making a movie about Google founders Sergey Brin and Larry Page. Man, who the hell do you cast as these guys? There’s not a lot of weak chins in Hollywood, folks."
BLAND is what you are looking for here, Rowles. Just cast Hayden Christensen to play both roles, one real the other in CGI, his lack of personality will more than make up for his alleged screen presence. Who knows, maybe CGI Christensen will manage to snag a Golden Globe.