Joel Schumacher -- who destroyed the first Batman franchise, who obliterated a highly coveted script (The Phone Booth), who is responsible for the biggest box-office flop of 2010, I believe (Twelve), and who couldn't direct a box of kittens to look cute -- has apparently signed on to The Barry White Story, according to The Hollywood Cog. It's not what you think (a Barry White biopic). It's much, much, much worse. The pitch, which comes out of the Hollywood Gangs Production company, is in the vein of SHE'S OUT OF MY LEAGUE, and it's about the ghost of Barry White teaching some loser kid how to channel him to get a girl. Criminy, people. Fucking criminy. It's currently out to script-writing software.
Christian Slater -- whose recent record with television series is so bad that he couldn't get a box of kittens greenlit in a 6-year-old girl's household -- has signed on to the indie horror thriller, Playback. It's about a sinister cop who is pivotal in exposing a small town's deepest, darkest secret, which is unleashed when high school students unwittingly unlock an evil that preys upon their classmates. Oh, Hard-On Harry. (Variety)
Gillian Anderson (Nooo, Scully) and Dominic West (Nooo, McNulty) have joined the cast of Rowan Atkinson's Johnny English Reborn. And noooo, I'm not kidding. (THR)
Tom Brady > Tim Riggins < Sawyer < Tom Brady = (Ugly Fours)
You like Gael Garcia Bernal? Do you like the sting of disappointment? Well, here you go folks: Feel the bitterness.
Lauren Ambrose -- remember her? -- has joined Paul Rudd, Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux in the cast of David Wain's Wanderlust. Man, I used to have some serious wanderlust for Lauren Ambrose, circa Can't Hardly Wait. She is still the hotterest. A hottie boom botty. Total hottery barn. (Variety)
FYI: As an illustrious reader, Melissa, reminds, the Red Riding trilogy is on Netflix Instant now. If you liked Zodiac, you'll love these. I saw the first two, and am itching to catch up on the third. They are marvelous goddamn films. Plus, Paddy Considine and a good gander at Andrew Garfield, who will be your next Spider-man (don't hold that against the Red Riding trilogy). (Netflix Instant)
John Mayer has cancelled his Twitter account, ending his relationship with his 3.7 million followers. This is news, people! I read it in the (Associated Press), therefore it must be. The thing about hard news, Associated Press, is this: Once you slide toward imbecility, you can never go back.