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Exclusive: Could Tom Cruise and Katy Perry Rock the Ages?

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (11)



katy-perry-california-g.jpg

It was announced about a year ago that Adam Shankman would be directing the big-screen adaptation of the Broadway musical, Rock of Ages, a musical that features a lot of 80’s glam, like Bon Jovi, Styx, Twisted Sister, and Poison. There hasn’t been a lot of blood on the pavement in production yet, as presumably Shankman was too busy filming Zac Efron’s Pool Party to translate a long-form episode of “Glee” onto the silver screen.

The Hollywood Cog, however, brings us a few notes on casting possibilities that Shankman and New Line are currently mulling. There’s nothing at all concrete here; it’s still in the early stages, but the possibilities are too intriguing not to report. There’s no one yet lined up for the male lead — the role originated by “American Idol’s” Constantine Maroulis on Broadway — but apparently, there is some interest in casting Katy Perry as the female lead, a young wide-eyed beauty from Kansas who moves to LA to follow her dreams of becoming an actress (in other words, every Poison video cliche and, coincidentally, the same role that Christine Aguilera has in Burlesque, give or take a Midwestern state). There’s also some interest in Mary J. Blige taking the role of Justice, an older “sassy woman,” who is the owner of a gentleman’s club on the Sunset Strip. Don’t you just love that the racial stereotype is right there in the description?

The reported offers that have gone out, however, are the more intriguing possibilities here, as Will Ferrell has been solicited to play Dennis, an ex-rocker who still hangs on to his glory music and now owns a club on the Sunset Strip. So, basically, Frank the Tank with long hair. The other reported offer? Tom Cruise for the role of Stacee Jaxx, a bad-ass, obnoxious, 80’s-style sexy famous rock star in the height of his success with his band Arsenal.

That, folks, I’d honestly pay to see. Cruise is best when he’s obnoxious (see Magnolia) because it’s his natural state, and hair-band Tom Cruise would be flat-out fucking hilarious in what I can only imagine would be a glam version of Russell Brand’s Aldous Snow. Can he sing? Oh, who gives a shit? I’d give him ten career bonus points for just having the humility to take the role.









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Comments

So we'd have to hear Katy Perry sing at some point, right?

Pass.

Posted by: Todd at October 14, 2010 10:49 AM

Katy Perry certainly isn't old, but isn't she a little old to be playing a naif straight off the farm? Especially since there are at least 300 .gifs of her tits jiggling in slow motion? (I'm guessing about that number because how would I know? Ha-ha-ha. Ahem.)

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at October 14, 2010 10:53 AM

Constantine was the creepiest Idol contestant ever.

So my wife tells me.

Posted by: Kballs at October 14, 2010 11:03 AM

Kballs, your wife is correct. At least up until I stopped watching Idol.
I just can't get into Katy Perry and her singing...probably because I'm not 13. Maybe I'll like her a little better as an actress.

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at October 14, 2010 11:15 AM

You put Tom Cruise and 'arse' in the same sentence. That about covers it.

Posted by: Ms MoMo at October 14, 2010 11:24 AM

AND IF YOU NEED IT SAY YEEEEEEAH! WHOOO, YEEEEEAH!

Posted by: Jay at October 14, 2010 11:31 AM

The show is horrible and I am embarrassed for anyone who buys a ticket to this on Broadway and genuinely thinks it's authentically good in any way. The only way to approach this is with tongue planted firmly in cheek and enough camp to make Lady Bunny seem blase. In other words, I support the casting of Katy Perry but not Tom Cruise.

Posted by: Robert at October 14, 2010 2:16 PM

Is there a career bonus points chart? No? Then here goes:

Oscar = 100 points
Emmy = 75 points
Tony = 75 points
Grammy = 50 points

EGOT = 200 bonus points

You lose/gain over 40 pounds for a role = 25 points.

Go full retard = 30 points (Jim Carrey is exempt because that's his natural state)

Co star with Katherine Heigl and not get a backhanded "compliment" = 20 points.

Your next movie grosses more money after starring with Adam Sandler = 25 points.

Your TV show on FOX survives 1 season = 10 points, 20 additional points for every season after that

If you performed at Woodstock and still releasing music today = 50 points

If that music is any good = 100 points

If your novel/comic/graphic novel is adapted to a movie/TV show = 100 points

Double bonus points if movie made from novel/comic/graphic novel is rebooted less than 5 years after original movie/TV show

If your movie/TV show/comic/novel/graphic novel deals with vampires/zombies/or time travel or any combination thereof = -500 points

It your movie trailer has a real cool scene that doesn't end up in the final theatrical cut of the movie = -1000 points

Posted by: John W at October 14, 2010 7:13 PM

Tell me again who this Katy Perry person is and why?

Posted by: , at October 14, 2010 9:21 PM

casting Katy Perry as the female lead, a young wide-eyed ample-breasted, shrill-sounding beauty

There, that was bugging me.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at October 14, 2010 11:10 PM

Robert,

Do you think you you're brilliant for coming up with the only working approach to the material? "The only way to approach this is with tongue planted firmly in cheek and enough camp to make Lady Bunny seem blase."

That's exactly how the creators of the musical approach it. And it's why it works nearly as well as it does. I despise 80s music, and was dragged to see this with a free ticket. It's unexpectedly clever and way better than it had the right to me. It's genuinely better than just about every musical production running on Broadway right now.

Posted by: Josh at October 17, 2010 9:01 PM