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Exclusive: "Burn Notice's" Matt Nix Familiarizes Himself With C*ck

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (12)

burn notice.jpg

Here’s a short but sweet scoop from the Hollywood Cog today that concerns Matt Nix, the writer and showrunner of USA’s guilty pleasure (lately more agonizing than pleasing) “Burn Notice.” Nix is working on an indie flick — via the independent production company, Permut Presentations, Inc. (Charlie Bartlett, Youth in Revolt) — that’s called Cock.

Intrigued?

Wait until you read the logline: It’s a dark comedy about a woman who, dissatisfied with her marriage, takes her sexuality into her own hands. How?

By growing a penis.

Say, huh? What? In a petri dish? Is she going to attach it to herself and have a little U-turn intercourse? I don’t get it, but I’m definitely intrigued.

It helps that Nix is a pretty solid writer over on “Burn Notice,” in that frothy kind of way, but if there was ever a show that needed an official end date, it’s that one. It’s been spinning its wheels for a two seasons now, and it’s become apparent that the series arc won’t be solved until the final episode, and likely, it will have little to do with all the build-up over the last three or four years. The self-contained part of the show still works, but man: The show’s actual premise is in the ditch. The “SNL” skit about the show is fairly apt:










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Comments

Shhhhhhh. I like having The Chin on my TV every week!

Posted by: JenVegas at April 7, 2010 11:54 AM

Another game show sketch! How do those wacky folks at SNL do it, week after week? I mean, I never would have imagined that a show on cable, that is a paid service that some people can't afford or choose not to buy, isn't well known! Holy fucking balls, those guys are GOOD!

Posted by: Jim Doggie at April 7, 2010 1:22 PM

Really? That was one of the worst sketches on SNL in recent memory. SNL: "Hey guys, here's an idea! Let's make fun of a popular show not on NBC!" Um, aren't you the station that brought us ER. And Mercy. And Trauma. And Emergency. Etc. Oh wait, you did bring us Law & Order. Hmmm, and Law & Order: SVU. And Law & Order: Criminal Intent. And Law & Order: Trial by Jury. And the upcoming Law & Order: Los Angeles. See where I'm going there? Plus we can't forget recent winners like My Own Worst Enemy and the Knight Rider redub. Plus you fucked Conan and brought back Leno. Bastards. In fact, NBC, the two best shows you've put out of late, Life, and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (which ironically, is based on SNL), you canceled. So Lorne Michaels, there's some sketch fodder for ya. I'm enjoying Burn Notice plenty.

Posted by: EJ at April 7, 2010 1:52 PM

So ... someone in a brainstorming session said "Go fuck yourself" and a movie was born?

"Cock," "Pee-nut Productions" ... I think there's some punking going on.

Posted by: , at April 7, 2010 2:29 PM

My mother grew her own penises once. I came over to her house, and she was giggling, and grabbed my arm and dragged me into the garden, and said, "Look what I'm growing." It was a large tropical plant, with, I kid you not, penises growing out of it. I have no idea what it's called.

Posted by: BWeaves at April 7, 2010 3:57 PM

It's called a Dicklily.

Posted by: Lucas at April 7, 2010 5:28 PM

Burn Notice is not a guilty pleasure show. Burn Notice is a damn fine show, and I completely disagree with your assessment that it has been spinning its wheels for two seasons. If you ask me, it's the only show on TV that delivers week to week. Burn Notice is exactly what it aims to be --- exceptionally entertaining, with sporadic moments of sentimentality and pathos.

And Jeffrey Donovan makes my nether regions tinkle. That is all.

Posted by: Melissa at April 7, 2010 10:11 PM

Tingle, rather. Yikes. Distinct difference.

Posted by: Melissa at April 7, 2010 10:48 PM

That is a horrible, horrible skit. Some guy on facebook posted it a while back, and I watched it with high expectations. After it was over, I remembered why I stopped returning his calls.

And that movie is a horrible, horrible rip-off of a true story: me whittling a penis named Thor out of mahogany wood. It wasn't because of any bad marriage. It was just for funsies.

Posted by: SaBrina at April 8, 2010 12:09 AM

err..international reader here?

Posted by: haplo at April 8, 2010 5:35 AM

Don't worry haplo, apparently you didn't miss much.

Posted by: Stella at April 8, 2010 1:24 PM

sigh.

u're right i guess.

so, dats it, huh? nothin will save SNL?

i still have the Jeopardy videos. cracks me up every single time.

Posted by: haplo at April 10, 2010 3:15 AM