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Exclusive: 20th Century Fox Developing an E*Trade Talking Baby Movie

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (40)

0_61_etrade_blackberry_baby.jpg

Update: It turns out that 20th Century Fox couldn’t secure the rights to the E*Trade babies, a source familiar with the project tells us. The movie is going ahead, however, as a talking baby adventure movie (with Katie Dippold still scripting). So, what’s worse? That the studio is making a movie about the E*Trade babies, or the studio is making a talking babies movie based on the E*Trade babies that not even E*Trade would grant permission for?

20th Century Fox is developing a film based on the E*Trade talking babies. No. I am not making this up. Actress and writer Katie Dippold (“Parks and Recreation,” “MADtv”) is penning the script. And no. I’m not kidding. The film is a “mission movie,” about a group of talking babies trying to make their way across the playground.

NO. I am not lying to you! Why would I lie? What reason would I have to bring you news like that if it weren’t true. Hell. Don’t blame me. Blame The Hollywood Cog. He’s the one that told me. Better yet, blame 20th Century Fox. No wait. Blame E*Trade. They’re responsible for the goddamn talking babies in the first place.

I cannot believe that someone is making a movie based on the E*Trade babies. A talking baby movie is bad enough, but one that’s based on a television commercial campaign?

We live in a sick world, people. A sick, sad world.









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Comments

But this was done already!! about 3 maybe even 4 times!
Are they going to re-unite Kirstie Alley and John Travolta for this too?

Good grief!

Posted by: Four Eyes at March 30, 2010 12:06 PM

You should have saved this for Thursday and made us argue over whether you were April Fooling us.

Posted by: Mr. Tusks at March 30, 2010 12:11 PM

Didn't Baby Geniuses already get made and suck? What a waste of time.

Posted by: TWoP_Fan at March 30, 2010 12:12 PM

Look. They'd be fools not to follow in the wildly successful footsteps of those cross-genre giants, the Geico Cavemen. Don't be dense. If it works for 30 seconds, it'll DEFINITELY work for 90 minutes. Just ask Dane Cook's only funny joke ever.

Posted by: Kballs at March 30, 2010 12:15 PM

Someone shit on the coats?

Posted by: Mr. Tusks at March 30, 2010 12:17 PM

Dane Cook had a funny joke? I didn't realize acting like a mentally-disabled douchebag for half an hour to an hour was considered funny.

Posted by: bignick at March 30, 2010 12:18 PM

The real question is- will that milkaholic Lindsay show up in the movie? Milk-a-wha?

Posted by: logar at March 30, 2010 12:19 PM

Can we get Uwe Boll to direct this?

Posted by: Fredo at March 30, 2010 12:19 PM

From executive producer Maeby Funke.

Posted by: Mr. Tusks at March 30, 2010 12:24 PM

This is just such a bad idea. How can they not see that???

Posted by: Jelinas at March 30, 2010 12:25 PM

One can only hope that the Geico cavemen sitcom gets revived.

Posted by: admin at March 30, 2010 12:25 PM

The correct response was "She got EP? Good for her!"

Posted by: Mr. Tusks at March 30, 2010 12:26 PM

brain...stroking...

Posted by: gem at March 30, 2010 12:31 PM

Am I the only person who hated the E*Trade babies to begin with? I thought those commercials were creepy as hell.

And fuck this movie.

Posted by: Brie at March 30, 2010 12:32 PM

From executive producer Maeby Funke.
Mr. Tusks - that was excellent.

Dustin - This is one of those "you had to share the pain" kind of things, wasn't it? Sometimes, I wouldn't mind if you just suffered quietly on your own...

Posted by: tamatha at March 30, 2010 12:33 PM

I fucking hate those babies. I have a friend who thinks "they're just so cute" and we have almost fallen out over the fact that I change the channel whenever the commercial comes on. Babies and dogs and cats should never talk on film. It sucks all the cuteness out them like a giant soul-destroying vacuum cleaner.
Also, while I'm on the topic, the Cadbury Creme Egg ads have to go. I'm sick of seeing animals wearing playboy bunny ears. Those delicious spherical pods of lard can sell themselves. They don't need cheap gimmicks.

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 30, 2010 12:33 PM

I'm not even gonna read it. Just shoot me now and end the misery.

Posted by: Smokin at March 30, 2010 12:41 PM

When we were growing up my little sister and her best friend, about 7 at the time, made up a game called "Babies in The White House". They would pretend to be babies....that inexplicably lived in The White House. That's it. They would crawl around, fake crying and pretending they lived in The White House. Not with the Prsident of the United States mind you, they were just babies... that lived in The White House.

Way to go 20th Century Fox, you and a 7 year old are right on par in the imagination department.

Posted by: ashes at March 30, 2010 12:42 PM

I liked Look Who's Talking. I still do. Although I have a thing for both John Travolta and Bruce Willis, but whatever. The next 2 were awful, but the first one had its charm.
And I also like the E-Trade commercials with the babies. They're amusing.

Eh, this sounds like nothing more than a rehash of an old idea for a throwaway kids' movie.

My honest reaction? Meh.

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at March 30, 2010 1:02 PM

You know whose fault this is? Lindsay Lohan. Those terrible fucking ads were already a bad memory when she had to bring them up again when she sued the company.

One more thing to add on to her list of Reasons Why she is a Terrible Fucking Human Being.

Next project: a movie based on those two Texan barbecue guys from the (I think) AT&T ads. They're funny and 'quirky' and perfect.

Posted by: figgylicious at March 30, 2010 1:03 PM

These are definitely the end times. I can't help but see this as a sign.

Posted by: MyySharona at March 30, 2010 1:28 PM

ashes, seriously that is the funniest thing I've heard in a long, long time. Thanks.

Posted by: elsie at March 30, 2010 1:30 PM

It's so obvious who should play Milkoholic Lindsay.

I mean really, a milkoholic, bubble blowing ex-Gerber baby that hasn't done a good commercial in years, is constantly flashing her Huggies when she gets out of the stroller, always has the sniffles, plays peek-a-boo with anyone with a rattle, gets put in time-out once week, is only 1 years old but easily looks 3? DUH!

But since she'll probably be in rehab, I suggest Kathleen Turner after smoking twenty packs of cigarettes. So she sounds authentic.

Posted by: jM at March 30, 2010 1:32 PM

See, the thing is these babies are douchebags. Little baby day traders, babies on the plane back from a bachelor party in Vegas, babies hooking up (ewwwwww) they're just assholes. In fact the working title of this should be asshole babies. Adding the creepiness of a talking baby film to the insipid entitled jackassery of a Tucker Max vehicle should be punishable by at least a flogging. Man, even human centipede couldn't swallow this shit.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at March 30, 2010 1:52 PM

Of course they are. It's Fox. I'm fairly certain the entire fucking film division is a tax shelter for hiding the money paid out to underage Phillipino hookers to sate the crazed lust of Rupert Murdoch. I've give the matter a lot of thought and there is simply no other explanation for why the company would sink millions and millions of dollars into movies this terrible with such consistency.

Posted by: TylerDFC at March 30, 2010 2:17 PM

Didn't they do this movie already, like fifteen years ago? It was called Baby Geniuses, it was shitty and it inexplicably got a sequel that was even shittier?

Nohamotyo strikes again!

Posted by: Aislinn at March 30, 2010 2:32 PM

Wow...this is the 9/11 of comedy. We're all fucked if this isn't an April Fool's joke. (Probably is though, seeing as there's no trade paper cited.)

Posted by: DoctorControversy at March 30, 2010 2:32 PM

(Probably is though, seeing as there's no trade paper cited.)

That's because it's an excluuuuusive. Pajiba IS the trade on this one.

For whatever good that's worth.

Posted by: Skewicide Blonde at March 30, 2010 3:14 PM

Why write a script? They could save money by just recycling a couple of episodes of the old "Rugrats" cartoons.

Posted by: cfar1 at March 30, 2010 3:52 PM

There are many low forms of humor in this world (flatulence, vomit, impacts to the groin, etc.), but I'm of the opinion that talking-baby humor is the absolute nadir.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at March 30, 2010 6:43 PM

This is The Uncanny Valley taken to its most destructive extreme.

Babies by themselves kinda suck. Make them talk with their creepy blank expressions and you have my worst nightmare. They're hideous. They're creepy. Federally funded abortions are not enough. I want the people who find this sort of thing funny to be forced to perform the abortions themselves.

Posted by: Bluesilver at March 30, 2010 6:46 PM

Didn't they try this as a television series a few years ago with "Baby Bob?" Is he an E-Trade baby? As I remember the series sucked and was cancelled almost immediately.

Posted by: rlr260 at March 30, 2010 11:33 PM

Well, everyone has already hit all the points I was going to make. Must be bedtime. Been having strange dreams lately. No talking babies, tho ... yet.

Posted by: , at March 31, 2010 1:04 AM

QUOTE :"Can we get Uwe Boll to direct this?

Posted by: Fredo at March 30, 2010 12:19 PM
"
Man, Fredo !! YOU are my new hero !! I love it !!!!

Posted by: B Walls at March 31, 2010 1:49 AM

I just hope they don't put grown up asshole/bitch comments into the mouths of these babies in the upcoming movie.
I didn't like the superbowl baby commercial. I couldn't figure out whether I wanted to laugh or cry. It's just wierd yet ironically appropriate how the concept of infidelity and lies were tied into the superbowl babies and being your own broker.

Posted by: dkg at March 31, 2010 2:48 PM

Hollywood please stop "adapting" stuff. Innovate don't duplicate.

Posted by: carl at April 9, 2010 3:43 PM

Geeze... lightenup...

Posted by: Randa Perry, Tennessee at April 22, 2010 3:30 PM

If this is real, fuck everything. We should not only be hoping the world is ending in 2012, if it doesn't, we should make it happen. We're obviously not progressing anymore and are backsliding considerably. Is this what humans are using their 'superior brains' for? Movies like this? There are two kinds of people who would even suggest this kind of movie, much less green light it: grandmothers and pedophiles. So which one is running 20th Century Fox?

Posted by: Eric the Blade at May 12, 2010 10:31 PM

The e-trade baby is not cute. It is grotesque. Every time that commercial comes on I turn my head,grab the remote, put it on mute,and avoid looking at the screen until it's over. There's just something slimy and disgusting about computer assisted manipulation of a child's face, and something monstrous about making an adult voice come from his mouth.

I really have nothing against the use of babies in commercials as long as they're doing what babies
would do. I remember one a few years back that I thought was pretty well-done. It was produced for Michelin tires and showed a happy, giggling baby standing inside a stack of tires and jumping up and down - no voice, no animation; just a baby playing with the tires.

Posted by: Tom Spurgeon at July 12, 2010 10:46 PM

The e-trade baby is not cute. It is grotesque. Every time that commercial comes on I turn my head,grab the remote, put it on mute,and avoid looking at the screen until it's over. There's just something slimy and disgusting about computer assisted manipulation of a child's face, and something monstrous about making an adult voice come from his mouth.

I really have nothing against the use of babies in commercials as long as they're doing what babies
would do. I remember one a few years back that I thought was pretty well-done. It was produced for Michelin tires and showed a happy, giggling baby standing inside a stack of tires and jumping up and down - no voice, no animation; just a baby playing with the tires.

Posted by: Tom Spurgeon at July 12, 2010 10:51 PM