I’ve had a long-held belief that Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’” is not only the perfect song, but that no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t ruin it. It’s meant to be belted at obscene levels in a bad voice accompanied by heroic fist pumps. How could you possibly screw that up?
Ellen Page somehow figured it out. I have no idea what’s going on this video, featuring Ellen Page and Alia Shawkat (an almost unrecognizable Maebe from “Arrested Development.”) It looks like it was filmed with a camera phone. I suspect it’s intentionally bad, but I didn’t even know that was possible with this song.
In either respect, I think I love it. And I love Ellen Page for risking the ridicule by putting it out there. And just a warning to all of you: Don’t press the play button if you don’t want to see it all. It’s hypnotizing. Cover your ears.
Christ that's glorious. Love their commitment to being ahead/behind the music. Cause they really ain't that bad'a singers...
Posted by: patchfire at June 18, 2009 5:58 PM
Incredibly shit in every way. I love that woman.
Posted by: TSF at June 18, 2009 6:03 PM
Does this mean they hang out? Please tell me they hang out.
Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at June 18, 2009 6:06 PM
oh. LOVE.
Posted by: Nadine at June 18, 2009 6:07 PM
Who's the fat dude with the spectacularly bad hair?
Posted by: eastvillagenyc73 at June 18, 2009 6:11 PM
Am I the only white man on this planet that hates Journey? The first verse of that song is catchy as shit, but the rest of that song is utter shit and that extends to the rest of their catalog as well. I swear to god, every time my roommates start pumping that shit and singing drunkenly along I get images of murder and blood on the walls. It's kind of frightening.
Posted by: the_wakeful at June 18, 2009 6:13 PM
That was fucking wonderful. I am SO happy right now!
Ellen & Ron Jeremy-lookalike are definitely hamming it up, but Alia's voice cracks me up because it sounds so fragile, like she's genuinely trying to sing along.
Okay, so I've commented like twice on this place (long-time listener, first-time caller, that sort of thing) but that shit was the most perfect video ever to hit the Interwebs, and I thank you for every minute of it, Pajiba. I thank you.
Posted by: Silmelas at June 18, 2009 6:26 PM
Yeah, I'm really sick of that goddam song. Fucking Sopranos. It's all their fault.
Posted by: Slash at June 18, 2009 6:34 PM
Were people not burnt out on this song before the Sopranos? I used to karaoke all the time, and I almost went on a murderous rampage after the bazillionth time somebody sang this - naturally I refrained because my song was coming up and it happened to be a pretty cliche karaoke pick as well (Black Velvet) so I didn't want to commit murder and look like a total hypocrite, you know?
All that to say... I want to love this, but I can't. Let's pick a new power ballad for society to obsess over. I pick "High Enough" by the Damn Yankees.
Posted by: HB at June 18, 2009 6:45 PM
I was so moved, I held up two lighters.
Posted by: admin at June 18, 2009 6:57 PM
There's nothing I wouldn't see Ellen Page in, even a film where she read the complete U.S. tax law. That's how hot she is in my eyes. (I'm 17, you judgmental bastards, so don't worry that some creepy old man is obsessing over some actress in a sexual way.)
I love the repeated use of the camera tilt up. And also everything else.
Posted by: thebuttonator at June 18, 2009 7:20 PM
Seconded, Slash. When the White Sox won the World Series and this song played over and over again during their celebrations, it gave me even more reason to hate journey.
admin, burning your own house down because you like Journey + Ellen Page...well, I can't help but think that Darwin would be proud.
Posted by: Jim Doggie at June 18, 2009 7:21 PM
"come sail away" kicks "don't stop believing"'s ass.
Posted by: celery at June 18, 2009 7:26 PM
ugh. you're not funny, ellen page.
Posted by: robin at June 18, 2009 7:44 PM
am i the only one that couldn't finish that crap?
Posted by: kelley at June 18, 2009 7:45 PM
ugh, let me correct myself: am i the only one WHO couldn't finish that crap?
Posted by: kelley at June 18, 2009 7:49 PM
no, kelley you're not.
Posted by: robin at June 18, 2009 7:51 PM
Well, it's good to know that my friends and I aren't the only ones who make stupid videos of ourselves singing.
Difference is, we don't put it on youtube (and even if we did, no one would watch it, so it's a moot point).
Posted by: That Girl at June 18, 2009 7:54 PM
There is no word but "zomg!" that accurately describes my reaction to this video. Pure genius. Highlight for me is around 1:28, the "spin and sing over the shoulder" move. Major kudos to them for not hitting a single note all song; that takes effort, man!
my song was coming up and it happened to be a pretty cliche karaoke pick as well (Black Velvet)
I'm 17, you judgmental bastards, so don't worry that some creepy old man is obsessing over some actress in a sexual way.
To be fair, when you use the phrase "obsessing over some actress in a sexual way" I reckon it's kinda creepy whether you're young or old, dude. Not that I'm judging, mind you - perving is, like, the national sport of Pajiba.
Posted by: Shay at June 18, 2009 7:55 PM
I've been haunted by this song for years. It was my graduating class' theme song, it was on every radio station, in commercials, people's ringtones, on the soundtrack at work, hobos in the street were panhandling with it. It was ubiquitous enough that the mockingbird that lives in the tree outside my window would sing it at 5 in the morning. I hate this fucking song.
Posted by: Geetch at June 18, 2009 8:32 PM
Wait, when did Bobcat Goldthwait kidnap Ellen Page?
Posted by: Mrcreosote at June 18, 2009 8:36 PM
How weird. I really could not stop watching. You were right...I was hypnotized for a little over four minutes.
Posted by: brenia at June 18, 2009 8:48 PM
Shay, I'm so happy you're back! You haven't been commenting much of late and I've missed you.
I kind of completely *heart* this, especially Alia's bad timing and Ellen's attempt to sound as much like a Muppet as she possibly can.
Does anyone know where I can get that awesome unicorn baseball tee?
Posted by: Ariel at June 18, 2009 9:20 PM
Sorry, but this clip just exhumes true fandom and a genuine understanding of the wonderful tackeyness that is Journey. Also, if Admin weren't already married and breeding, I'd totally hit that for the dual lighter comment.
Would anyone think this was funny if it didn't star the girl from the most over-rated piece of shit movie of the past ten years? God I hate Juno and everything it has brought us. Quick, name that other good movie with Ellen Page in it? ...Crickets... Yeah. I didn't fucking think so. Ellen Page could post a video of herself letting out a 30 second long queef and a million fucking hipsters would accidentally hang themselves on their own ropes of jizz.
Posted by: Jason at June 19, 2009 12:57 AM
Difference is, we don't put it on youtube (and even if we did, no one would watch it, so it's a moot point).
You really underestimate the power of the Tube. The whole damn site is built from regular people doing stupid shit they think no one but them wants to watch.
If anything, it makes me more impressed that they did it. I mean, they have the urge to look like total goobers on the internet for no good reason?
Quick name that other good movie with Ellen Page in it
Hard Candy! What do I win?
Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at June 19, 2009 1:52 AM
Optimus, you win a free gonad removal. Please proceed to the back room to claim your prize.
Posted by: Jim Doggie at June 19, 2009 2:07 AM
Let me just say, the guy can sing.
Page was creatively beautiful as always.
Nothing says hot like bad 80's pop music.
Posted by: Jaaake at June 19, 2009 2:15 AM
Shay, I'm so happy you're back! You haven't been commenting much of late and I've missed you.
Aw, thanks AvonB! I was in my final year of my undergrad, so I spent most of the last 8 months insanely busy with stress; stopped reading Pajiba for the most part, actually, and only commented once that I can remember. But now it's summer and I'm unemployed, so woo! Lots of internet for me!
Ellen Page could post a video of herself letting out a 30 second long queef and a million fucking hipsters would accidentally hang themselves on their own ropes of jizz.
Such a video exists? Do you...do you have it? Can you post it? I'll pay you cash money! *readies the tube of KY jelly*
Posted by: Shay at June 19, 2009 6:32 AM
She was also in The Tracy Fragments and a little movie called X-Men 3 .
Posted by: io at June 19, 2009 6:36 AM
This reeks of hipster.
Bleh.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at June 19, 2009 7:05 AM
Hehe...look, she's a kid, she's supposed to be doing shit like this, chill the fuck out. All of you. You too, admin, put those lighters down, pick up the phone and call the bloody fire department.
Optimus, Hard candy was indeed awesome. I just love how she slowly becomes creepier and creepier. So tiny and yet so scary.
Posted by: Joker at June 19, 2009 8:02 AM
How good is this!?
I completely dig Ellen Page and Journey is awesome (why else would this song get used *so* often).
Now what we need is a mashup of this and the version from Glee!
Posted by: trib at June 19, 2009 8:20 AM
So I initally saw this on HuffPo and stopped watching 30 seconds in because of boredom... but I've now watched it about 3 times - it's definitely grown on me.
Still not saying it's incredibly funny and hilarious; just better than I had given it credit for.
Posted by: Gnaius at June 19, 2009 8:27 AM
Quick name that other good movie with Ellen Page in it
I don't know from movies, but she was in the first season of Trailer Park Boys. This clearly warped her for life.
I'll respectfully disagree on Hard Candy and The Tracy Fragments, but X-Men 3? Good? Really?
Posted by: Jason at June 19, 2009 9:13 AM
vomit. you have no taste
Posted by: mothy at June 19, 2009 9:28 AM
When did Maebe turn into a 45-year-old Jewish housewife?
Posted by: DeadBessie at June 19, 2009 9:47 AM
OK. This kinda did it. I have suspected that I am too old for this site. but this video makes it official. I just plain don't get it. I don't think I would get it if someone sat down and patiently explained it to me. Which I hope they never will, and that's how I know I am too old, cuz I don't even want to know. So long, farewell, sauntering sadly into the sunset...sigh.
Posted by: Lynne at June 19, 2009 10:48 AM
Page always struck me as the kind of young person who starts every sentence in which she disagrees with somebody with "Um", i.e. "Um....that would be your fault." I thought she was the most overrated part of "Juno", which I begrudgingly saw and ended up liking. Oh wait, I'm sorry. Cera was the most overrated, Page was the second most overrated.
As to the song, it's fine, but surely one can't maintain it's Journey's best. Please. We all know that "Girl Can't Help It" and "Send Her My Love" rank far higher than "DSB" on the roster. True fans know what I'm talking about.
Posted by: samantha t at June 19, 2009 11:07 AM
that was crap. i enjoyed the glee version much, much better
Posted by: splinter at June 19, 2009 11:34 AM
I don't get it, is supposed to be funny or mildly annoying, or what?
Posted by: blah blah blah at June 19, 2009 12:00 PM
i don't get it, but i must have that rainbow unicorn baseball shirt. it is amazing!
Posted by: pq at June 19, 2009 12:53 PM
That was a complete travesty. What did Journey do to them? Yet, I had to watch the whole thing! Ahhh!
Posted by: "luker" the barbarian at June 19, 2009 1:29 PM
"I'll respectfully disagree on Hard Candy and The Tracy Fragments, but X-Men 3? Good? Really?"
If we're talking Ellen Page, yes.
Posted by: Joseph Finn at June 19, 2009 10:42 PM
Hard Candy/The Tracy Fragments were both utter tutter. I am going to go out a limb and assume X-Men 3 falls in that category also, as it has a numeral in the title. Never a good sign.
Tramp.