As sad as it may be, we have to concede that the two biggest up-and-coming Hollywood stars today are Zac Efron (High School Musical) and Robert Pattinson (Twilight), and we all may as well get used to see a ton of them in future years. They’re this generation’s Johnny Depp and Leanordo DiCaprio (I’m sorry — it’s just an observation, and not one I’m happy about). They’re not going away. In fact, a couple of days ago, Efron actually made a solid career move, dropping out of the musical remake of Footloose (that movie is now recasting, and working to polish its script).
Meanwhile, Efron has decided to stick with director Burr Steers, who helmed the upcoming 17 Again, a Big / Like Father Like Son mash-up. Efron’s next project will be The Death and the Life of Charlie St. Cloud, based on the Ben Sherwood novel, about a 28-year-old man who works at the cemetery where his brother was buried, after he died in an accident the two of them were in. Charlie St. Cloud apparently then plays catch with his brother’s ghost, who decides against going to Heaven in order to stick around for a Red Sox game. Things get hairy when Charlie falls in love with a female apparition.
I’m not making any of that up.
That said, I have to concede that Efron is not an absolutely atrocious actor — we got a chance to see him star in Richard Linklater’s Orson Wells and Me at SXSW (blah blah Austin self-congratulation blah blah, I know I’ll shut up), and he was not only serviceable, but kind of tolerable, which is to say: It could be worse.
It could be Robert Pattinson, whose follow-up to Twilight is Little Ashes (out this weekend), an indie flick in which Pattinson plays Salvador Dali (please don’t burn down our Internet). After the next Twilight movie, New Moon, Pattinson is now in negotiations to star in Memoirs. According to THR, Memoirs is “based on an original screenplay by Will Fetters that will be rewritten by Jenny Lumet, who penned Rachel Getting Married, tells of two lovers whose newfound relationship is threatened as they struggle to deal with family tragedies. Allen Coulter (Hollywoodland) is negotiating to direct.
And for the curious, here’s a trailer for Little Ashes.
Posted by: BWeaves (from a different IP address) at March 25, 2009 10:27 AM
...about a 28-year-old man who works at the cemetery where his brother was buried,
I am confused as to how a 14-year-old plays a 28-year old. Isn't Effron the youngest Jonas?
Pattinson looks and sounds aweful in that trailer. A terrible accent and his actin' is just cold.
And fix your hair for christ sake! Your coiffe isn't supposed to look like it was styled by a hungry cow.
Posted by: admin at March 25, 2009 10:31 AM
I know they're not atrocious actors, but they're still fucking pricks! At least if you don't like DiCaprio, you always know he'll die at the end of the movie. Seriously, in every movie based on a work of fiction I've seen him in, he bites the dust. As for Deep, there's always Nightmare on Elm Street.
To be fair to Pattinson, he's distancing himself from that Dali movie, which was filmed a couple of years ago. Supposedly, he was planning on leaving acting, and just saw it as a chance to take a free vacation to Spain. Also says the script and direction were fairly ridiculous.
Posted by: Seisi at March 25, 2009 10:37 AM
I kind of get why the tweens like Efron - pretty, unthreatening (and by 'unthreatening', I mean 'gay'), can sort of act.
But Pattinson, I do not get at all. I've never seen a pic of him which doesn't give me the creeps. He has serial-killer eyes, and not in a good, Dexter-ish way. I'd check the trailer to see if he looks any better in motion, but I'm askeered of him!
Posted by: Tarn at March 25, 2009 10:37 AM
Tarn's comment made me realize, Pattinson would be perfect as Kevin when they inevitably remake Sin City.
I like the fact that beyond this site and some other places on the Internet, I have never come across either of these two people. They really have no impact on my world and are unlikely to in the immediate future.
Sometimes being a bit older has its advantages.
Posted by: Forbiddendonut at March 25, 2009 10:50 AM
You make your own pain TK.
Posted by: admin at March 25, 2009 10:50 AM
How's Jimmy Fallon treating the Sawx these days, eh TK?
Really doing them proud?
Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at March 25, 2009 10:54 AM
As a Pirates fan, I must say: Fuck you, TK, you and your two world championships in four years AND your $200 mil payroll. You ought to fuckin' appreciate that ANYbody pays ANY attention to YOUR team, whatever form it takes.
You know when anyone pays attention to my team? When one of our top prospects' crazy ex-con cougar wife tries to snatch a baby.
I know, I couldn't believe that story either. The Pirates have prospects?
Posted by: bucdaddy at March 25, 2009 10:57 AM
Wait...you're telling me Salvidor Dali wasn't retarded? Oh boy...I think we have a problem here.
I hear he also wasn't an "erotically abstinent" bloodsucker, so I'm not really sure where they're going to go with that.
How did you draw this conclusion. They actually seem to be quite harmless. Like room temp vanilla tapioca used to mask the happy meds.
Posted by: branded at March 25, 2009 11:05 AM
I'm sorry, I can't help it. I haven't even seen that Twilight business. At 26, I think I can count myself a wee bit too old for it. But the smoking... and the dirtiness... *sigh*
Posted by: b at March 25, 2009 11:06 AM
b: don't underestimate the sexiness of Edward Cullen.
i can't believe i'm saying this. and i'm older than you are.
Haha boo, I thought you were saying "Me too" to Smokin judging me. Well I'm glad to have a fellow Pattinson lover then. ;)
Posted by: b at March 25, 2009 11:12 AM
Um, is Efron playing Charlie? That makes no sense.
And I did, sad to say, fall for the charms of Pattinson in Twilight. All the pictures and film of him I'd seen beforehand (not many to be fair) did nothing for me, but there was something about him as Edward Cullen...don't stone me.
Nah, no stoning...I just won't trust your taste in men from now on.
Yep, I'll say it...Edward Cullen was a child molester.
Sorry, I'm not awake yet and in a bit of a mood. Ignore me.
Posted by: Smokin at March 25, 2009 11:21 AM
But the smoking... and the dirtiness... *sigh*
Ah yes, B.O., natures cologne.
Posted by: admin at March 25, 2009 11:22 AM
I love Robert Pattinson and want him to succeed, only because he reminds me so much of my brother. He's a drunk, high, poorly coiffed yet dirty hot young man who's trying to succeed at something he's probably not cut out for too, and I can't help but root for them both.
If not showering or shaving is considered hot, then I'm the equivalent of chocolate-covered sex on a stick right now.
Posted by: branded at March 25, 2009 11:30 AM
Zac Efron can go suck a bag of dicks, though.
Posted by: Marra at March 25, 2009 11:28 AM
One of my favorite jokes of all time.
Posted by: Smokin at March 25, 2009 11:38 AM
Another douchebag in a movie tied to the Red Sox.
Well TK, you must be willing to admit that there is no accounting for all Red Sox fans. There are many who give fanship a bad name.
Posted by: tamatha at March 25, 2009 11:42 AM
They’re this generation’s Johnny Depp and Leanordo DiCaprio..
Someone once said this about Freddie Prinze Jr. And Channing Tatum. I hold out hope.
Posted by: Sweetie Dahling at March 25, 2009 11:46 AM
i'm with b and boo. RP is hot. i've never seen him in a movie, but he does the dirty sexy thing really well. my friends are trying to talk me into seeing Twilight, but i'm kind of a vampire purist, so i'm not sure if that's a good idea. i also wouldn't want to ruin my age-inappropriate crush on RP.
Posted by: pq at March 25, 2009 12:00 PM
Yep, I'll say it...Edward Cullen was a child molester.
But a hot child molester...did I say that?
But yes, that whole thing was creepy and I don't want to get into yet more Twilight bashing, I'm talking solely how he looked here. Because I'm fickle like that.
Okay, so I never could get the love for RP in photos. He just.. I don't know.. I just didn't get it. So I netflixed Twilight (hangs head in shame). I know! I know! You all told me not to do it and I went ahead and did so.
And then I got the RP stuff, granted I had to watch most of the movie on mute because it was so ridiculous, but damn he made me feel funny in my pants.
Posted by: legib at March 25, 2009 12:12 PM
Also, are the two pretty young boys going to make out in this movie? Because I'm there. I do enjoy some hot boy-on-boy action.
And by the way Mr. Rowles, your mancrush Ryan Reynolds recently said in an interview that he thought Rob Pattinson was "dreamy".
Mmmm... RR and RP making out in a movie? Now that I would pay to see.
Posted by: legib at March 25, 2009 12:17 PM
hmm, Pattinson in the trailer kind of looks like a 15 year old who taped on a moustache to look like he's older . . .
Posted by: Dorota at March 25, 2009 12:20 PM
That's ok, AvB, I still love you.
Also, hey, did we ever try to find out who else wants to know about Dollhouse recaps? I haven't found a bloog host yet, but I'll try to do so tonight.
Posted by: lizzieborden at March 25, 2009 12:20 PM
Pattison looks fine with his hair brushed.
That being said... Dirty with stubble is a big thing for me.
Posted by: Kayanne at March 25, 2009 12:58 PM
Yep, I'll say it...Edward Cullen was a child molester.
Well so was Angel, but at least he got the job done properly! As I said in another comment-thread, Edward Cullen is just a big ole sparkly clit-tease. All brood and no boinking.
Hot vampires - if you can't fuck 'em, what use are they?
There's going to be a musical remake of Footloose? No! Leave Footloose alone! John Lithgow and Kevin Bacon made a beautiful couple.
Posted by: Lucas at March 25, 2009 2:19 PM
lizzieborden, my darling dear, I'm so glad you can forgive my gross taste. I know it's easier when it's something like... oh, say Showgirls, that's at least funny. I can't help it! I've always liked 'em young, effeminate, and dirty.
Anyway, as far as Dollhouse, I cannot say for certain as to interest. I do know that I would love it, as would a few others (Rhyme and Pinky among them). Perhaps a poll is in order? Anyone? Interest in a Dollhouse recap/discussion board/thread/blog?
I read that as Little Asses and figured it was some homoerotic piece, and that's what captured my attention. I was not disappointed,
Posted by: MissNev at March 25, 2009 4:13 PM
Is it just me, or do teenage girls seem to rank guys with funny-looking eyebrows as their top dreamboats?
Posted by: DarthCorleone at March 25, 2009 6:08 PM
I promised myself that I would give people the benefit of the doubt this year.
Therefore I'm going to be ridiculously, idiotically optimistic and postulate that maybe these two may, just MAY get better with age. Kinda like wine and stinky cheese.
On the negative side for them is the fact that DiCaprio and Depp (double D!) could have acted circles around them when they were their age.
Soooo....they may never catch up.
Posted by: Four Eyes at March 25, 2009 6:38 PM
I've always hated Dali. I hate him even more now.
Posted by: George at March 25, 2009 7:40 PM
I read that as Little Asses
That'd make for a much stranger Elvis Costello song.
I absolutely reject the comparison of either one to Johnny Depp. For me, Efron is Parker Stevenson to Pattinson's Shaun Cassidy. And Shaun brought us the magic of American Gothic, so I'll hold out a little hope for Cedric Diggory. I can't judge him based on Twilight because of that excruciating dialogue. (And no, I haven't read the books...and no, I won't be doing that.)
Posted by: ALR at March 25, 2009 8:42 PM
Pisses me off when they´re comparing the incredibly talented young boy Leonardo di Caprio always have been with the mediocre english piece of wood, Robert Pattinson. Why on earth they do that? Pattinson will repeat again that same boring stare, that boring maneirism in the next prince charming role he´s supposed to do for Summit, hoping to cash in as much as he can before obviously his carrer goes down south. He´s got the dumbest fanbase of them all and at least he´s humble enough to know that. And PLEASE let Di Caprio alone.
Posted by: annie at March 25, 2009 10:40 PM
Agree. Who Pattinson actually think he is after all? He´s not even sincere as Zac Efron. He´s always posing as a humble/honest/self-depracating Madre Teresa while in fact he is nothing more than a greedy Tom Cruise wannabe. He is a fake modest guy. And a mediocre actor to say the least. Die Rob!
Posted by: kent at March 25, 2009 10:44 PM
I'm way late to the show as usual, but I'd be into a Dollhouse recap thread.
Pattinson/Efron...cagematch...there can be only one...di di mau~!