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Tower Of Suck Is More Like It

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (7)



beverly-hills-cop-41.jpg

Ugh. I don’t have the strength for this nonsense.

Tower Heist, which has all the makings of being Ocean’s 11 For Morons, has a new cast member. As it stood previously, it’s being Ratnerfucked by a member of Pajiba’s Axis Of Evil, and will star Ben Stiller, who refuses to allow himself to become respected or respectable.

The film, for those who wisely drank their memory of the plot away, is about “a group of hard working guys find out they’ve fallen victim to a wealthy business man’s Ponzi scheme, they conspire to rob his high-rise residence. “ Yippee.

Anyway, according to The Playlist, Eddie Murphy has joined the cast. He will not be animated, but no word on whether or not he’ll wear a fat suit. Oddly, Tower Heist was originally written as a starring vehicle for Murphy way back when, and now he’s reduced to taking a supporting role. Weird.

By the way:

I hate you, Eddie Murphy. You were responsible for some of my favorite action-comedies of all time (Beverly Hills Cop and 48 Hours), and with the exception of your turn in Dreamgirls and Bowfinger, you’ve consistently and relentlessly shit the bed for the last decade-plus.

Fuck it, I’m gonna start drinking.

Here, to make up for this shitty post, here’s Bruce Willis on Zach Galifianakis’ “Between Two Ferns.”









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Comments

TK you are so right about Murphy, I get sick even looking at the header picture. This guy had the chops to be the next Pryor. Every thing went down hill for him after he got caught with that tranny in his car on sunset blvd.

Posted by: Pookie at October 14, 2010 9:33 AM

Was it him who had that relentlessly homophobic bit in one of his stand up shows, where he was like "Why do I keep pacing up and down on this stage? It's because I don't know where the homo contingent of the audience is. I don't want them looking at my butt!" etc?

Posted by: Ender at October 14, 2010 10:32 AM

@Ender - It was him.

Watching the more than quitely pissed off look on Eddie Murphy's face when he lost the Oscar (TM) was a exquisite bit of schadenfreude. I don't think of it often, but at times such as these when I do, I think about it and smile.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 14, 2010 1:19 PM

/quietly

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 14, 2010 1:23 PM

Of course, he torpedoed his own chances of winning the Oscar with "Norbit"...I dunno if that is funny or pathetic. Both, I guess.

Posted by: Mark M at October 14, 2010 2:59 PM

Tower Heist, Tower of Suck... Eh. I don't think there's enough of a resemblance to make it a worthwhile joke. I offer you free use of any of the following:

Tower Herpes
Tower Hemp
Tower Upchuck
Tower of Waste
Tower Haste Makes Waste
Tower Feist
Tower Triple Herky
Tower Habeas Corpus
Tower Halal
Tower Helen Thomas
Tower Hershey Park
Tower Hemorrhoids
Tower of Hell
Tower Hepatitis
Tower Hep-Cat
Tower of London
Tower Heat Rash

I'm just saying words at this point. By "this point" I mean since I started.

Posted by: SaBrina at October 14, 2010 7:30 PM

He did his James Brown impersonation through most of the overhyped and incredibly dreary Dreamgirls, there was no surprise when he didn't win.

Posted by: Fuckchop at October 17, 2010 10:12 PM