It’s the end of the day, and there’s a lot of crap we didn’t bother to cover because the items didn’t warrant an entire post, but here’s a few tidbits to float you until morning.
First, in sequel news, though the movie doesn’t open for another month plus, the powers that be have already greenlit a script for a Star Trek sequel. Awesome. I love presumptuousness. Alex Kurtzman and Robert Orci, who wrote the upcoming movie, are back, and joining them will be Damon Lindelof, he of “Lost” fame. No word on whether Abrams will be back in the director’s chair, but come on: Of course he’ll be. Unless, of course, the full force marketing hype doesn’t translate into actual box-office success. The odds of that? Fairly insignificant. Those teevee commercials soften the brain, you know.
Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland will get an IMAX release. Fascinating. Meanwhile, the name for the TRON remake is official. They’re going to call in TRON. Holy shit. That’s brilliant. I wonder how many men in suits it took to come up with that?
Elsewhere, for a limited time this fall (two weeks, to be exact), Pixar will rerelease Toy Story and Toy Story 2 as a 3D double feature. Cool. They’ll also debut the trailer for Toy Story 3 ahead of the two movies.
Mathew McConaughey has signed on for The Lincoln Lawyer, based on Michael Connelly’s novel. He’ll play Mickey Haller, a crap lawyer who works out of the back of his Lincoln Town car, defending DUI drivers and con artists, up and until a Beverly Hills playboy hires him.
Also in sequel news, there is word via MTV that David Cronenberg is planning to reteam with Viggo Mortensen and screenwriter Steven Knight for a sequel to Eastern Promises, i.e. the movie where Viggo shows his funny business. No word on when, if, or how it will happen, but Viggo apparently has some ideas of his own for the sequel. For the sake of the Pajiba ladies, here’s hoping it involves full frontal. (H/T Cindy)
Finally, via Slashfilm, here is a music video for The Pussycat Dolls’ version of “Jai Ho.” Because your masochistic curiosity will compel you to push play, and you’ll be haunted by product placements and Bollywood nightmares all night. I hope to God that Danny Boyle had nothing to do with this:
The fuck is wrong with you Rowles? I know your homo ass couldn’t be happy with a woman in a bikini. You just had to retreat back to your homo roots talking about a naked Viggo Mortensen.
Posted by: Pookie at March 31, 2009 8:41 PM
I don't know about "Jai," but those are most definitely "Hos!"
Posted by: gforcetwo at March 31, 2009 8:42 PM
But, seriously folks, is it absolutely necessary for there to be more than one Pussycat Doll?
Other than Nicole Scherzinger, couldn't you replace the instantly forgettable faces and inarguably absent talent of the other four or five (or however many) of them with suitably slutty muppets?
Posted by: gforcetwo at March 31, 2009 8:54 PM
If the makers of Tron were actually hip to the younger folks they would have spelled it with a backward R. Hopefully there's still time to give it a totally rad subtitle, like "Tron: To the Extreme".
As far as getting some more Vigo man ass, I'd have to say: there is nothing wrong with that...
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at March 31, 2009 9:26 PM
Full-frontal Viggo was one of the most memorable and satisfying movie experiences I have had in recent years. The sequel could be entirely set in that bath house and I would be happy.
Take that to Mars with you Dr. Manhattan.
Posted by: PaddyDog at March 31, 2009 9:36 PM
hahahaha Jay, awesome. Awesome.
It's not the man ass we want to see, if you get my drift.
My sister and I were alone in the movie theater when we saw Eastern Promises. Good times. We got to catcall as loudly as we wanted.
Posted by: rayliota at March 31, 2009 9:39 PM
Vigo was amazing in that scene. And in everything else. He makes Bard Pitt look like a schoolgirl.
Posted by: wickedorchid at March 31, 2009 9:41 PM
Hopefully there's still time to give it a totally rad subtitle, like "Tron: To the Extreme".
Not as rad, but I'm thinking Tron: End of Line.
Posted by: branded at March 31, 2009 9:43 PM
The PCD cover would not be awful if Nicole Sherzinger did not clearly say "Jay Ho." They can't be deaf, right? Especially when the chorus doesn't always say "Jai Ho." The video's pretty decent. Not everything can be a Bjork/Thom Yorke "I've Seen it All" in quality, ok? Be glad it's A.R. Rachman and not Justin Timberlake falsetto-ing the sample.
Posted by: Robert at March 31, 2009 9:53 PM
Listen Pookie, I'lll have you know I would stay in a line overnight to buy a ticket to see Viggo Mortensen's beautiful, lovely, sweet, gorgeous, delicious, fabulous and I'm sure entirely-edible ass again.
And, I'm sure I'm not alone in my desire. So this bit of news was for the ladies.
Posted by: Cindy at March 31, 2009 10:00 PM
And yes, I did mean to put that extra l in I'll.
Posted by: Cindy at March 31, 2009 10:01 PM
Never watching that video, not ever. I don't want my memory of that gorgeous song ruined by those whores.
They are whores! In their name they have not one but TWO references to misogynistic idealizations of women. They suck. I hate them.
Posted by: rayliota at March 31, 2009 10:05 PM
Well Cindy you can stay out all night all you want to, but when you get back home those dishes aren’t going to wash themselves nor is the carpet going to vacuum itself.
Posted by: Pookie at March 31, 2009 10:10 PM
You have to feel a bit sorry for A.R. Rahman. Ostensibly a highly accomplished and respected composer, he will be immortalized in the Western world as the portly brown gentleman who strolled about the stage at the Oscars wailing "Jai Ho" with his eyes closed.
Figgy: I did watch the video. Now I'll simply clamp my noise-canceling headphones over my ears, slide the volume up to infinity, find the original lyrics on line, and sing my little heart out. Problem solved.
you can stay out all night all you want to, but when you get back home those dishes aren’t going to wash themselves nor is the carpet going to vacuum itself.
See, I think this theory has yet to be fully tested. Maybe the dishes take a week to wash themselves. I'm pretty sure the carpet is holding out for a full month before it gives in and busts out the vacuum. Carpets are hardcore like that.
I've seen a coffee cup sitting in a corner of the break room sink for at least six consecutive days now, crusted with oatmeal, a squirt of soap, and two inches of water. I think it's just about to break down and wash itself.
You just have to be patient with these things.
Posted by: Wednesday at March 31, 2009 10:32 PM
I do not think that I would want light cycles buzzing my junk. On second thought ...
Posted by: admin at March 31, 2009 10:34 PM
I knew it, I knew it, once women we’re giving the right to vote the home front was going to be neglected. Women’s hard working husbands should not have to wash dishes or vacuum, I’m appalled.
Posted by: Pookie at March 31, 2009 10:36 PM
Oh like you've ever been "hard working" in your life...
Listen Wednesday, the cleaning and washing universe has an order that must be followed. Men use, women wash, I’m sorry but that’s just the way it is. I don’t make the rules, I just follow them.
Well ray, perhaps you can un-bore us with your wit and witticism? Fucking guys always with the jokes coming out the wood work, let’s fuck with Pookie. Sometimes I don’t know why I even bother coming here. I come to be among friends and share a word or two about cinema and to discuss world affairs. Then I get a guy with a hidden agenda and a point to prove, well I’m not going to do it anymore. You win ray, you’re the winner, you have slayed the mighty Pookie. Three cheers for ray!!!
Posted by: Pookie at March 31, 2009 11:35 PM
I always wanted to be a winner.
And I'm not a guy.
Posted by: rayliota at March 31, 2009 11:37 PM
A skirt!!! A goddamn skirt!!! Can’t get a date huh? Slim pickens out there huh?
Posted by: Pookie at March 31, 2009 11:44 PM
Ray, when someone asks you if you're a guy, you say "YES"!
And of course what would the night be without the artist formally known as stipe42, Mr. Wilson and his long winded ten thousand word mind fuck?
Posted by: Pookie at March 31, 2009 11:54 PM
Ray, when someone asks you if you're a guy, you say "YES"!
I disagree. If you say you're a dude you immediately fall into the minority and lose any and all influence on what the purveyor of this site posts. You don't think Dustin really likes RR do you? He panders.
Posted by: admin at April 1, 2009 12:03 AM
You can't properly mind fuck with something short like a haiku, Pookie. Shit takes time. You're a preacher of that yourself.
Posted by: branded at April 1, 2009 12:06 AM
Dustin's RR love, whether faux or not, is hysterical. Methinks that's why he does it really.
I'm gonna backtrack and say that it was funny at first but then got a little weird. Honestly if he wanted to pander then he wouldn't be focusing on RR. He'd be posting Ewan MacGregor pics and Ryan Adams videos nonstop. That is, if he pandered to only myself.
Posted by: rayliota at April 1, 2009 12:08 AM
Broad, man, it makes no difference to me I attack both with equal enthusiasm. If a broad attacks me I would be derelict in my duty by not treating her equally. She shall taste the same blade as a male attacker.
Posted by: Pookie at April 1, 2009 12:10 AM
So should I be huddled in the corner awaiting the attack of your superbly dry wit and sarcasm?
Posted by: rayliota at April 1, 2009 12:14 AM
Fair enough, I'm just saying the ladies get Mortensen trouser trout and we get Hannah-fucking-Montana.
If that isn't a panderin' I don't know what is.
Posted by: admin at April 1, 2009 12:15 AM
I cannot argue with the truth.
Posted by: rayliota at April 1, 2009 12:19 AM
Sometimes I get the feeling that I’m talking to myself. Friends and family have noticed that when they ask me a question I will give them an answer, but not to the question asked. Maybe their questions irritate the fuck out of me, I don’t know.
Posted by: Pookie at April 1, 2009 12:19 AM
you just made me smile, Pookie.
Posted by: rayliota at April 1, 2009 12:24 AM
Rowles isn’t sophisticated enough to be a panderer. I think he genuinely loves looking at pictures of men, it also doesn’t mean he’s necessarily queer.
Posted by: Pookie at April 1, 2009 12:24 AM
Pookieporn = porcupine? Plenty of pricks either way.
Posted by: bucdaddy at April 1, 2009 12:36 AM
Buc, how long have you’ve been waiting to use that?
Posted by: Pookie at April 1, 2009 12:38 AM
You people just don’t understand, after me there will be no more. My time is short with you all, my journey is near completion. Soon I will belong to the ages.
Posted by: Pookie at April 1, 2009 12:41 AM
I have seen some things that I can't speak about.
Posted by: Pookie at April 1, 2009 12:43 AM
You people are lucky that you don't know what I know.
Posted by: Pookie at April 1, 2009 12:45 AM
Damn straight! There are some people's minds I don't want to delve into, and yours is at the top of the list.
Sometimes when I'm out at the lake behind my house reading a book, I think about you ray.
Posted by: Pookie at April 1, 2009 1:04 AM
Sometimes I never think of you Pookie.
night!
Posted by: rayliota at April 1, 2009 1:06 AM
It's official: Friday Night Lights has been renewed for two more seasons.
Posted by: Lucas at April 1, 2009 1:35 AM
www.whogivesafuck.org
Posted by: Pookie at April 1, 2009 1:44 AM
"Sometimes I don’t know why I even bother coming here. I come to be among friends and share a word or two about cinema and to discuss world affairs."
Fucking please, Pookie. When have you ever posted a goddamn thing that wasn't a thread-derailing, off-topic piece of misogynistic/homophobic garbage, grotesque TMI, never-to-be-fucking-fulfilled "threat" to leave Pajiba, or lame attempt at flaming one of your pet hates? No matter what the topic, we can be sure that you'll show up and twist the entire comment thread into another episode of "Aspies On Parade".
Posted by: Craig at April 1, 2009 5:40 AM
That's our Pookie.
*cues laugh track*
Posted by: admin at April 1, 2009 7:00 AM
Don't forget the race-baiting, Craig.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 1, 2009 7:01 AM
"You have to feel a bit sorry for A.R. Rahman. Ostensibly a highly accomplished and respected composer, he will be immortalized in the Western world as the portly brown gentleman who strolled about the stage at the Oscars wailing "Jai Ho" with his eyes closed."
Ling, that is one of the funniest things I've ever read on this site. So, so true.
Posted by: samantha t at April 1, 2009 8:00 AM
Idle hands are the devil’s workshop I always say. A women’s hands should be connected to some dirty clothes, and a river.
OK, let's make a deal. If the clothes belong to Viggo and he's standing naked in the river, I'll watch and wash. And then maybe I'll drop the clothes and join him for a little "swim".
Posted by: Cindy at April 1, 2009 8:07 AM
Pookie, glad to see your brief period of being a normal human being has already expired, and you're back to being the asshole you've always been. Let's see -
Persecution complex? Check.
Obnoxious homophobia that is inexplicably forgiven by the other readers? Check.
Idiotic wannabe sexism that's basically there to hide your pathetic insecurity around women? Check.
Poor grammar and a limited-at-best grasp of the English language? Check.
Oh, and most importantly - absolutely nothing of anything even resembling substance or usefulness? Instead just taking crude, embarrassing potshots at the writers and readers? Check and fucking check.
You are a worthless excuse for a human being, Pookie.
Posted by: I Love Beets at April 1, 2009 11:05 AM
I had something pithy to say about Viggo's doodle, but this thread has wandered so far astray, I'll just skip it.
Posted by: Drake at April 1, 2009 12:29 PM
"Other than Nicole Scherzinger, couldn't you replace the instantly forgettable faces and inarguably absent talent of the other four or five (or however many) of them with suitably slutty muppets?"
Not Muppets, robots. It's all about the robots these days.
No, no, no. The Pussycat Dolls ARE slutty robots, and therein lies the problem. We WANT them to be slutty Muppets, because Muppets are hot. No, for real. Miss Piggy? Don't tell me you wouldn't hit that, 'cause I totally would.
Posted by: Lizling at April 1, 2009 6:20 PM
Nicole Sherzinger needs to just Go. Away.
I couldn't watch more than 31 seconds of that absolute shit. Why must those glorified strippers ruin such a good thing?
Posted by: Ilana at April 1, 2009 7:49 PM
I shouldn't wade into this, but, whatever.
Pookie, its not the 1980s anymore. Calling someone a homo is boring and pathetic now
I got about a minute in before my eyes started to bleed. Excuse me, I need to go find a towel.