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Seriously. Shoot Your Agent.

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (10)



Dwayne-Johnson_091.jpg

Well, it looks like Dwayne Johnson, aka The Rock, is determined to never be the great action star we want him to be. I loved him in The Rundown and Be Cool, but other than that, he’s been consistently disappointing, choosing simple-minded, child-friendly low-brown fare.

Now, he’s set to replace Brendan Fraser in the sequel to the god awful Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D. This one will be called Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (get it? It’s a play on words! It’s so clever! Die suffering!), and is loosely based on Jules Verne’s novel “The Mysterious Island.” Josh Hutcherson, who played some-fucking-body in the first entry, is set to return. Here’s a synopsis, if you give a shit (hint: you shouldn’t):

Johnson will play the boyfriend of Sean’s mother and is forced to come along on a trip with Sean to find his missing grandfather on a mythical and monstrous island.

Seriously, Dwayne, what the fuck, man? Is it your agent? Are there incriminating videos? Did you sell your soul to the devil? Nail the wrong guy’s wife? Sweet face-fucking Buddha, you’re supposed to be Arnold for the new generation. Tough, badass, clever, funny, charismatic. I’d rather see another Doom than this nonsense.

OK, that’s not true. All the Karl Urban in the world wouldn’t make me want another one of those disasters.

But still. For real, Rock. Knock it the fuck off.

(source: Dark Horizons)









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Comments

He went to the University of Miami, FL. He played football at said university. Said football players take pride in their thuggish reputation and refer to their higher institution of learning as "The U."

Ipso facto, he's a moron.

Posted by: Kballs at September 2, 2010 9:15 AM

ugh. i can't believe i used to want to blow him.

Posted by: gp at September 2, 2010 9:23 AM

Well, perhaps Dwayne made a decision to not be a beefcake anymore. Maybe he thinks the future, for him, lies in child-friendly fare. Who knows? I'm still trying to get "Tooth Fairy" out of my nightmares. Until that's done I have no intention of seeing another movie with this man in it. So, yeah, good luck in your career Dwayne.

Posted by: mslewis at September 2, 2010 9:28 AM

The sad thing is, the man can fucking act when he wants to.

Posted by: twig at September 2, 2010 9:49 AM

It's pretty fucking sad when you have to be more embarrassed about your b-list acting career than your pro wrestling career. I smell what you're cooking, Rock, and it smells like turd burgers.

Posted by: Robert Scott at September 2, 2010 10:05 AM

@Kballs - I understand the bitterness, but he's clearly not a moron.

Posted by: Seany D at September 2, 2010 11:04 AM

me too, gp, me too...

Aww, who am I kidding. I still want to.

Posted by: Drake at September 2, 2010 11:04 AM

low-brown fare?

Posted by: space oddity at September 2, 2010 1:05 PM

I know an old school wrestler from back in day. He said Dwayne Johnson is the nicest person you will ever meet. Does a LOT for charities not just money wise and literally gives the shirt off his back to fans. So no he's not a moron. I don't care what movies he does. I'm a fan just cause he's a cool, genuine dude not a douche.
He's got a promising movie called Faster coming out, and it's an action flick so suck it haters.
If anyone cares about wrestling or is interested to know Edge, Undertaker, and Jericho are also very cool guys. The biggest jerk is HBK.

Posted by: Dingle Berry at September 2, 2010 3:06 PM

this is a pretty bad ouch. i too could see him having a lively action career, but maybe there isnt an audience looking for a replacement for 80's action guys.

i also saw the toothfairy. only two things to say, 1) i thought it played like something kids would love, which is who the film was aimed at.

and

2) Mr. Dwayne, who has trouble pulling off heterosexual at the best of times looked like a kid who's dream came true when he got to be on screen in a pink tu-tu. he was truly lit up. such things happen once in a lifetime, and not for most of us, shame he wasted the wish that way.

Posted by: idleprimate at September 2, 2010 8:27 PM


















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