Dust Off Your Mullets, They're Remaking 'Road House'
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Dust Off Your Mullets, They're Remaking 'Road House'

By Joanna Robinson | Trade News | November 25, 2013 | Comments ()


In terrible, no good, very bad news, they’re remaking Road House, and Rob Cohen (The Fast And The Furious, Alex Cross) is attached to direct. Road House is one of those grimy, dirty diamonds in the rough you do not want to resurrect because there’s no hope in hell of recapturing that kind of mulleted lightning in a bottle. Road House is beloved not because it’s good but because it is brimming over with the weird, delightful alchemy between a young Patrick Swayze and Sam Elliott’s sexy mop of hair.


Oh yes, I suppose Kelly Lynch was there too.


So they’ve got their (sub-par) director attached, but who is going to take on the Swayze bouncer-with-a-heart-of-gold role in all its sheer, unadulterated shirtlessness?


Look into your heart — I think you’ll find you already know the greasy-ab’d answer.


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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Miss Laaw-yuhr

    There is only one Swayze and he deserves our respect (pours some out). What next, a Next of Kin remake?! Is nothing sacred?

  • BobbFrapples

    I can picture The Rock as the bouncer...


  • mairimba


  • mairimba


  • bastich

    So we should take that as a "maybe"?

  • Siege

    All right, Hollywood. That is IT. I have politely ignored most of your poorly-planned, badly-executed attacks on the favorites of my youth, but YOU LEAVE PATRICK SWAYZE ALONE. If I COULD pull your throat out, I would do it, and then float your body across the pond as a warning.

  • steveb

    I think this is a pretty easy decision to make. In fact, we already have a audition tape that speaks for itself.


  • My mind jumped to this within two seconds of reading the headlines.

    "By the looks of this guy, this is NOT consensual sex we're talking about here!"

  • I'm firmly on the REMAKE EVERYTHING side of the equation because who cares really, but this...this flirts with going too far...

    Also Kelly Lynch has a lifetime membership in the bunk rotation.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    But who is going to play Sam Elliot's mustache?

  • bastich

    Ron Swanson, of course!

  • Brian Merritt

    I refuse to acknowledge this. NO.

  • Alice

    This might work if they use the exact same script. "Calling me sir is like puttin' an elevator in an outhouse. It don't belong."

    Eloquent, direct, and precise.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Pain don't hurt.

  • Brock Samsa

    But this does.

  • Bert_McGurt

    I think in Elliott's place as Wade, we can probably all agree on:

  • Guest

    It would fall in line with his other films. I hate to say it but Olyphant is meant for the small screen.

  • JoannaRobinson

    Well, DAMNIT, now I WANT them to make it.

  • Bert_McGurt

    I suspected you might enjoy that suggestion.

  • lowercase_ryan

    I called Charming even as I started to scroll down. He's perfect.

  • Guest

    I can't believe I'm saying this but Charming Potato is too talented for the role.

  • Mz Black Widow

    wow, you really think Tatum is more talented than Charlie Hunnam? In any case, just no to the entire remake. If they leave anyone's movies the fuck alone it should be Patrick Swayze's. He deserves it <3

  • Guest

    Only in this instance.

    It's more the hair. If they are doing a proper remake the feathered mullet would suit Hunnam for better the Tatum.

  • lowercase_ryan

    but he can dumb it down accordingly. If they made this intentionally campy it would rock.

  • Guest

    Gerard Butler Charlie Hunnam is the obvious choice to play Dalton right?

    And Gerard Butler for Wade.

    Kelly Lynch still looks terrific and could reprise her role as Doc or Anna Camp would be a capable replacement.

    *R.I.P. Patrick Swayze.

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