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Please Let Russell Brand Die Before He Drops Dead


Drop Dead Fred Coming Up / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | April 28, 2009 | Comments (39)


The summer of my 16th year on Earth, I had what I’d hoped would be a decidedly Kevin Arnold moment. I met a girl from a neighboring town at the swimming pool. We hit it off, by which I mean — by the end of the day, we were splashing each other and I was tickling her in the hopes that I’d brush up against a boob. (I should also note that meeting teenage girls in your bathing suit is not always a spectacular idea, which is to say that George Costanza is full of shit.) Anyway, I worked up the nerve to ask this young lady to go to the movie with me, convinced that we were somehow meant to be. To my surprise, she actually said yes. And we agreed to go see “Drop Dead Fred” together. I’d already seen “Drop Dead Fred,” and I despised it, but it was all that was playing at our local theater.

Anyway, she stood me up. And I was left, again, to watch “Drop Dead Fred,” and no amount of Phoebe Cates could make Rik Mayall a bearable presence. That movie was a big old hemorrhoid pile of bloody suck.

So, of course Universal Pictures is remaking it. And as if the original Drop Dead Fred weren’t obnoxious enough, they’ve decided to amp up the annoying factor by making the remake a vehicle for Russell Brand, who is quickly bearing Seth’s one-movie wonder prediction out. Dennis McNicholas, who is one of the writers on the upcoming Land of Lost is set to pen the script. Universal is looking for a version of Drop Dead Fred that’s a little darker, more like Beetlejuice, apparently.

For those unfamiliar with the original, it’s about a woman (Phoebe Cates) who loses her job and her husband over the course of her lunch hour. Suddenly, the imaginary friend from her childhood, Drop Dead Fred, appears to annoy the ever living shit out of her. and I’ll give Universal this: If they had to do a remake, they couldn’t have found a better person than Brand for the role. He was born to be this level of obnoxious.

Here’s the trailer for the original — look for Carrie Fisher.


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Comments

Brand pretty much defines the "funny in small doses/lethally unfunny beyond that" category of entertainer. As soon as this type is asked to carry the load, it all goes "poof!" in a giant cloud of Not Funny. Other examples: Rosie O'Donnell (circa 2001; any dose is fatal now), Jack Black, and Jonah Hill. Seth Rogen and Seann William Scott flirt with this category, as both are challenged when they have to function as the center of gravity for a feature film.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at April 28, 2009 10:20 AM

He's just turning into Jim Carrey, isn't he.

Posted by: Jay at April 28, 2009 10:22 AM

Oh boy! More unfunny drug-addled snark from that asshole. yippee
Lemme guess, Zooey Deschanel is the lead. 'Cuz that bitch is in everything.

Posted by: Kballs at April 28, 2009 10:24 AM

I remember watching this movie at my granny’s house and it being insanely scary. She couldn’t step on her mom’s carpet and he cuts her hair.

Maybe it still seems scary to me because I
laughed when I wrote “her mom’s carpet.”

Posted by: joseph martin at April 28, 2009 10:32 AM

I had fond memories of this movie, since I did actually see it on my very first date ever. I haven't touched it since though, and I think that trailer has totally spoiled my memories...or it's just confirmed how awful my taste was back then. I had the coolest sweatsuits- they were flourescent pink and black- and there were slap bracelets to match.

Posted by: Phaeolus at April 28, 2009 10:33 AM

Wow. I mean, there's the unnecessary remake of the already successful movie, and the 'reboot' of the successful premise/shitty script but... this? Remake of a movie critically panned in both concept and execution, with absolutely nothing that would flag a studio that somehow, some way, it could actually make money?

... does this mean some day I'm going to get my Speed Racer 2?

Posted by: twig at April 28, 2009 10:34 AM

My daughter really likes this movie for some strange reason. I can never decide how I feel about it. Will I be banned if I say we own it on DVD?

I'm going to go lie down in a shame hole.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at April 28, 2009 10:35 AM

Snuggiepants, add my oldest daughter to the inexplicable love for this movie. When she was little, she watched this and the Tim Burton "Batman" over and over again.

Yeah, she's pretty fucked up today...can't imagine why....

Posted by: dammitjanet at April 28, 2009 10:41 AM

Russell Brand makes me feel uncomfortable. It's like I've gotten on a bus, and since it was so crowded I stumbled over someone's feet and one of my hands accidentally touched him and he's lightly covered in something sticky and I don't want to offend him by rubbing my hands on my jeans, but the desire to wash my hands is so overwhelming that I actually consider getting off of the bus several stops early to run into a restaurant bathroom and wash my hands, but I know that they won't let me use the bathroom unless I buy something, but I don't have any extra cash and even if I did have money and could use their bathroom I'd be late for work, so I stand there trying not to think about what could be working its way into my bloodstream through my now sticky hand and trying not to touch anything, but trying hard NOT to look as disgusted as I feel and then I glance at him and notice that he's looking at me and smiling because he knows what's going on in my head, and I realize, deep down in my heart, that he thinks it's funny.

Posted by: Tae at April 28, 2009 10:42 AM

This is one of those dear to my heart films that I watched a lot as a kid and would quote endlessly and just thought was the best thing ever. I haven't seen it in years, and maybe I don't want to, just in case, but still, I'm pissed off with all the remakes. They're attacking my childhood memories and making me feel old. Talk about a double whammy.

In future, can they not just make the film anyway, without all the 'ooh we're remaking it' business, and then if anyone points out similarities just say 'Oh really? I hadn't noticed.' And be done.

Posted by: Carrie at April 28, 2009 10:54 AM

BeEtlejuice!

It wasn't a Paul McCartney vehicle.

Posted by: Carrie at April 28, 2009 10:55 AM

That looks awful. Who would want another one? Is the target audience for this film the same as the one for the Three Stooges movie with Sean Penn?

Seriously, who keeps giving these people money to make films nobody wants to see in this economic climate? Not cool, movie producers with stupid amounts of money, not cool.

Posted by: Kayanne at April 28, 2009 10:57 AM

Tae,

That was YOU?!?

Damn right it was funny. You should have seen your face.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 28, 2009 11:03 AM

That's it. I'm going to go pitch a remake of Harry and the Hendersons. If Drop Dead Fred can bring someone a paycheck lo these many years later, Harry and the Hendersons can bring ME one.

Posted by: PaleoLithchick at April 28, 2009 11:06 AM

Tae... that was all kinds of awesome

Posted by: missh at April 28, 2009 11:11 AM

Anybody remember Rik Mayall from "The Young Ones"? That show was AWESOME!

Posted by: Carolina Girl at April 28, 2009 11:11 AM

"Vyv! Eat the TV!"

Posted by: twig at April 28, 2009 11:29 AM

"Have we got a video?"

"YES! We've got a f***ing video!"

I get those lines in my head for no reason quite often.

Posted by: Carrie at April 28, 2009 11:56 AM

Russel Brand is the same kind of unfunny as the kid on my dorm floor freshman year who thought mashing his naked nuts up against my window repeatedly was the high point of college humor.

He had really small junk, so it technically WAS funny, but not for the reasons he thought.

Posted by: Roaddog at April 28, 2009 11:58 AM

ROWLESSS!!!BLASPHEEEEEEEEEEEMER!!! DDF rocked, and still rocks, my socks.

A remake is....eeeugh. Depending who's in it it might be okay but if its Brand,whom normally I can tolerate, I'm fucking murdering him.

Posted by: Nadine at April 28, 2009 12:55 PM

I was only allowed to watch 'G' movies until I was 10, and 'PG' until I was 13. So when I slept over at a friend's house in 2nd grade and we got to see Drop Dead Fred I thought it was the most awesome and scary thing EVER.

Posted by: epimethea at April 28, 2009 12:57 PM

"The Young Ones" is freakin' hilarious!

Rik Mayall CAN be funny....in this movie, however, he blew gargantuan goat testicles.

Poor Pheobe Cates. Just take your top off and America would love you again. Course, bitch DID get Kevin Kline...

Posted by: dammitjanet at April 28, 2009 1:05 PM

yeah, so I can't spell PHOEBE

bitch....

Posted by: dammitjanet at April 28, 2009 1:06 PM

Wow. You're all so bitchy and snarky for declaring your dislike for now-popular Brand. Good on you. Also, the person who wrote that long-ass bus joke needs to get out more. You're not a writer. You're an attention starved asshole.

Posted by: ben at April 28, 2009 1:35 PM

I was only 12 when this came out, so still young enough to like some of the silliness. My mother threatened to beat me if I called her "snotface" again.

I have the entire series of Young Ones on DVD. Long live the People's Poet!


"Do you really give a fig, pig?"

Posted by: superEdna at April 28, 2009 1:36 PM

Tae, that was...so vivid and disturbing, yet so true. He's an icky, obnoxious man.

Posted by: meaux at April 28, 2009 2:36 PM

Tae... that was all kinds of awesome

Seconded!

Posted by: Drake at April 28, 2009 2:39 PM

Posted by: ben at April 28, 2009 1:35 PM

Wow. Good thing you're not bitchy or an asshole at all.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at April 28, 2009 2:49 PM

Damn, getting stood up and being forced to watch that thing again explains SO MUCH about Dustin. It would've traumatized me for life, too.

Posted by: figgy at April 28, 2009 2:57 PM

Re: Brand. Evidently he's got some strange ability to make random women make-out/jump into bed with him. I don't know how. All I know is that if I ever met him, I would probably be willing to make out with Russell Brand for the exact amount of time it took me to reach around and set fire to his hair.

Posted by: s. pisaster at April 28, 2009 3:02 PM

It's inexplicable to me also, s.pisaster. He looks like Animal from the Muppets if Animal was on crack and hadn't bathed in 5 years. And he probably smells like fish and Axe body spray.

Posted by: figgy at April 28, 2009 3:07 PM

Tae, that was awesome!
Bucdaddy, that was awesome too! heee!
Ben, do you need a hug?
and
I think Russell Brand is hilarious. I know I should feel shame, but I don't. Don't think I'd make out with him, tho. Sure, I'll laugh at him, but touching him? God, no.

Posted by: Chickaboom at April 28, 2009 3:49 PM

Rewatching that trailer, I have no idea why I liked that movie when I was little. However, I have no doubt that Brand will be perfect for the role -- he's British, annoying, and thinks he's hilarious!

Posted by: Ariel at April 28, 2009 6:29 PM

Am I the only one who effing LOVES Drop Dead Fred?!?!?!??!

You're all just a bunch of mega-beasts.

Posted by: tinmo at April 28, 2009 9:05 PM

Awww, poor Dustin! That story almost makes me feel sorry for your teenage-self, except I totally would have done something like that to some random guy I knew I'd never see again. I was what they would call a "mean girl."

Anywho, I never saw DDF but I was also really into the Tim Burton Batman. My cousin's house was broken into and the vcr was stolen with our copy of Batman in it. This was the most devestating thing that happened in our young lives.

Posted by: Austin asking for trouble at April 28, 2009 9:50 PM

Carrie- you and me are in the exact same boat with this movie.
I'm the guy by the rudder with the shifty gaze and the awkward sweat stains. hi.

Posted by: smatt584 at April 29, 2009 1:21 AM

Whatever, I liked Drop Dead Fred. I was 11? 12? when it came out.
Still makes for good hungover TBS weekend watching.

Posted by: Sharon at April 29, 2009 3:07 AM

DDF was pretty awful (execution-wise; I like the concept) except for the part where he finds out that she's had sex and starts blaming the pigeons for teaching her. Rik Mayall can be hilarious (Lord Flashheart, anyone?), but DDF was not a good vehicle.

Posted by: Geetch at April 29, 2009 4:46 PM

I absolutly looooove this film and am sick of Hollywood thinking they can remake everything!
When will they have an original idea again?!

Posted by: Jeva at April 30, 2009 4:34 AM





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