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August 13, 2008 |

By Seth Freilich | Industry | August 13, 2008 |

Pardon the interruption, but I need to speak out to my Philly peeps for second — if you’re not in the Philly area, keep on keeping on to the next paragraph. So I’m coming home this weekend and I’ve decided to toss out an invite. The intended plan (huge emphasis on “intended”) is to go to the Khyber on Friday night with some pals. So if you’re looking for an excuse to go boozing, how’s a mini-Brotherly Love Meetup sound? If I make it to Khyber, I’ll be sure to wear the Godtopus (hopefully without a fresh stain from Pat’s), and will try to get there around 9 p.m. And if I don’t make it, well, you’ll still be out drinking, so what the hell are you complaining about, punk?

Donna Martin may have graduated, but apparently her degree ain’t worth the paper it’s written on because, come this fall, you won’t be seeing her on the “90210” reboot. Word has it that she was in negotiations for her mutli-episode appearance when she learned that the network was lowballing her in comparison to what they were paying Jennie Garth and Shannon Doherty. “Gimme more,” says Tori. “Uhm, you should be paying us for putting your appalling breast crevice on TV,” says the CW network executive. “Smell ya’ later,” says Tori. And that’s that. Of course, our loss is our gain, because no Tori Spelling on network TV, even a lowly network like the CW, is a good thing.

And speaking of that “90210” remake, this shit is hilarious. Asked about reprising his role as Steve Sanders, Ian Ziering said that he wasn’t interested because he’s “really looking down the line pretty far and this might be a step backwards.” A step backwards from what, you ask? Well shit, son, he’s got all kinds of things cooking — he’s producing an online TV series for MySpace and, I shit you not, he will be making an appearance in the upcoming National Lampoon’s 301: The Legend of Awesomest Maximus Wallace Leonidas. So yeah, you can see how being “90210” could get in the way of him making future appearances in motherfucking, cocksucking spoof movies.

In much more interesting news, we’ve got some info now on one of the “Battlestar Galactica” TV movies that are in the pipeline (there are supposed to be several, but this is the only one with any details). The two-hour special will air next year, after the series finishes its run, with a subsequent DVD release. Directed by Edward James Olmos, the story will start out before the miniseries, and will focus on the fact that the Cylons’ original plan did not account for survivors. The central characters announced so far are Anders, Tyrol and Dean Stockwell’s Cavil (*yeah*). Cavil is probably my favorite Cylon, cause Stockwell just fucking rules. So I’m already happy, even if this flick doesn’t wind up being anything more than a squeeze of the lemon.

Random casting tidbits: Laurence Fishburne is in talks to replace William Peterson on “CSI,” while other rumors have also name-droped Kurt Russell and John Malkovich (although he’s already, reportedly, passed). Sara Gilbert is becoming a series regular on “The Big Bang” — if I watched the show, this might mean something to me but since I don’t, all I know is that this means she’ll be spending more time with her old “Rosanne” co-star. Which is, whatever. And speaking of whatever, Seth Green and Breckin Meyer have both joined “Heroes” for a multi-arc episode. Early word is that they won’t play kids with powers, but some sort of comic book nerds.

Fox has announced that “Moment of Truth” is getting a fall hiatus, with its spot in the schedule going to “Hole in the Wall.” I told you about this before — based on a Japanese game show, it’s a type of human Tetris. Could be some good shit. Some think this has a shot at making inroads on the ratings for the latest season of “Survivors,” which will be squaring off against the show on Thursday nights. But the collection of die-hard online fans of “Hole” is small, and even if they spread the word, and even if Fox busts out some well-done promos, this feels like a show that has about a four-episode shelf-life, if that. Should be a fun few episodes, but I just think the novelty will get old quick-like. So I wouldn’t expect it to have much of an impact on “Survivor,” despite the pontificating of some of those who think they know things. As for me, since I’m an utter whore for “Survivor,” I certainly won’t be watching “Hole” live. And, I suspect I’m not the only one (while the show certainly isn’t the cultural zeitgeist it once was, it’s still a solid ratings earner season after season.

ABC has announced a new pilot based on The Witches of Eastwick because original ideas are now officially dead and buried in a shallow grave in my basement. But don’t you worry, because this show will be different, you see, as the cast may be younger than the film’s cast. So there’s that. Also in the realm of digging up the past and beating it into motherfucking oblivion, the exec producer of “Criminal Minds” is working on a new version of “Hawaii Five-O” because … uhm … well … because we all love the theme song? That’s the only reason I can think of that makes any sense. That, or the dude just wants an excuse for a studio to pay for him to live in Hawaii.

I leave you with this clip because, well, because it’s just wonderful:

Seth Freilich is Pajiba’s television editor. Personally, he thinks the stalling point in Tori’s “90210” negotiations wasn’t money — it was her demand for at least two extraordinary nutsacks every day she was on the set. And you can’t really blame her for that reasonable request, right?

The Daily Trade Round-Up / The TV Whore
Aug. 13, 2008

Industry | August 13, 2008 |

Seth is a Senior Editor and sometime critic. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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