Disney Films on any Device

"That Is the Sound of Inevitability"

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (17)

Disney has announced with a bit of fanfare that they have a fantastic new technology that will allow you to pay for their films once and then watch them on any of your devices. THR quotes a source named only as “an insider,” whom I assume is either another disposable executive or the sentient computer built from Walt’s undead brain that prays nightly for either death or companionship, “Dad has a Zune, Mom has an iPod, there’s a Mac and a PC at home and a Roku box; right now, those devices don’t talk to one another. We intend to blend those worlds.”

Yeah … actually Disney, those devices can all talk to each other right now. It’s called a network. It’s been around for a while. The thingie doodle that looks like a phone line that your IT slave or teenager plugs into the back of your computer for you and lets you look up photoshopped pictures of your latest starlet mounting a grizzly bear … yeah, does that sound familiar? I can’t imagine how many billions of dollars and tortured geniuses it took to re-invent the fucking shared folder that has been on my computer since 1995.

Look, piracy is illegal for a good reason, but that doesn’t stop us from trying to understand why in a span of a decade it became almost normalized behavior. It’s not (just) because people are freeloading thieves. It’s just market behavior: if there’s demand and no legal supply, then an underground supply will spring up faster than a tasered kitten. Twelve years ago, if you wanted to watch a movie or listen to music online, you couldn’t pay any amount of money to do it because studios were pretending the problem would either go away on its own or they could sue it into oblivion. So alternate supplies developed to meet the demand.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great that Disney is taking this step, the next natural step after Hulu and other online video. I, for one, cannot wait to simultaneously watch High School Musical 4: In My Pants on my cell phone, iPod, computer, laptop, and internet-enabled bidet. But don’t blow sunshine up our asses about your amazing innovation that predates Hootie and the Blowfish.

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Comments

The thought of tasered kittens shouldn't fill me with glee. But it does, as I have no soul.

Posted by: TSF at October 22, 2009 9:24 AM

spring up faster than a tasered kitten

i like the way you think. damn mewing kittens, with the whiskers and the laughing-out-loud.

Posted by: gp at October 22, 2009 9:28 AM

I live near Walt Disney World and I really want that rabib Mickey Mouse doll.

Posted by: BWeaves at October 22, 2009 9:32 AM

piracy is illegal for a good reason

Please, call it what is it, copyright infringement.

So, DRM will soon stand for Disney Right Management?

Posted by: pissant at October 22, 2009 9:49 AM

Do people really watch entire movies on a 2-inch screen? I'm lucky I can see to find my pecker and it's three ... or four times that size.

*can't remember where he put his spectacles*

*forgets they're on his head*

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at October 22, 2009 10:08 AM

This whole thing is a non-starter, Disney. I'll decrypt your shit and transcode it as I please, thankyouverymuch. DMCA be dammed. I'm not going to ask for permission from any system you set up. You are very desperate to move from an ownership model to a subscription model, but that is your problem not ours.

Posted by: bradm at October 22, 2009 10:26 AM

Your wrong, Dustin. This is new technology. It will place a pair of mouse ears on all of your shared folders and make endless terrible sequals of those folders just to make your kid want to see what's in the new mousey eared folder.

Posted by: admin at October 22, 2009 10:30 AM

If this "system" is anything other than an open, non-DRM'ed file format that's supported by all (or most) devices, it's not going to replace what we're already doing.

Posted by: BrianM at October 22, 2009 10:33 AM

Please. Ten years ago there was not a demand for movies or music to be online. The music was downloaded because it was free. If it was about access or ease of use, it would have been simpler to go to your local Walmart and buy the cd what have you.

Why do so many people feel compelled to justify their actions when it comes to things that are illegal like stealing music? Do it or don't do it, but please, don't come up with excuses because no matter what you try to say it does not change what you did.

Posted by: Databandit at October 22, 2009 10:39 AM

I think you missed the point of the article. Disney's intention is to move media on demand away from a download model and onto a streaming server based one exclusively. And I believe eliminate hard media entirely. The server would be able to run software on any device, regardless of codec and OS. The objective being a universal media specification that would work on any device regardless of manufacturer.

It also appears to be in competition with another universal spec that is in development as well.

So yeah, this is kind of a big deal. Although I've never quite gotten the huge push for streaming on demand. Our country's network is on an outdated infrastructure. We lag behind most developed countries in speed, and broadband is inadequate. I think when fiber is more prevalent this will have a shot. Until then I just don't see how our network can possibly handle the increase in traffic if everything goes to a streaming model as suggested.

Posted by: TylerDFC at October 22, 2009 10:43 AM

Excellent bitch-slap to the clueless at DisCorp.

But all I can really think about is: Where can I buy my very own Rabid (Zombie?) Mickey? I want one to display on my mantel!

Posted by: Jerce at October 22, 2009 11:00 AM

"mantel" spelled and used correctly brings a tear to this old copy editor's eye.

I ... I love you, Jerce.

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at October 22, 2009 11:14 AM

Yeah, I'm with Jerce, I want me a Rabid Mickey Rat too!

Posted by: Soylent Green is Sheeple at October 22, 2009 1:10 PM

The only thing I have to say right now is that I would like to be in a TSF/gp sandwich. Thank you.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at October 22, 2009 1:25 PM

I still find it amazing that no one from Disney has realized that ALL THEIR MOVIES are sitting on youtube right as we speak. I'm serious, they're ALL on there. Broken up into 10 bit pieces, yes, but they've been on there for years. It's pretty surprising.

Posted by: figgy at October 22, 2009 1:57 PM

Leave the kitties alone you sick fuckers.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at October 22, 2009 2:05 PM

Who cares!!! My boyfriend also agrees with me. He is 10 years older than me, lol. We met online at age-gap club -- http://AgelessOnly.COM/. Maybe you wanna check out or tell your friends.

Posted by: Helen at October 23, 2009 1:18 AM

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"That Is the Sound of Inevitability"

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