Pajiba

Aw, Hollywood, leave DRS alone. You're not going to make a better version. I may have to show up and put a stop to this.

My trident, please.

NONONONONONONONONO! Seriously - what the hell is wrong with people? Don't make a goddam remake, tweak the story enough so there's similarity and call it something different. It's goddam insulting, especially given the fact the DRS isn't that friggin' old. What to expect ten years from now? A goddam remake of the remake? Jesus Christ, I guess all it takes to get a movie greenlit nowadays is to pick an existing movie and remake the goddam thing. Shit, it'll be Steve Carrell (sp?) and Paul Rudd, guarangoddamteed. And remaking Red Dawn? ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?! Remake Poltergeist? WHYWOULDYOUDOTHAT?! Make up something that has the faintest odor of "new". Seriously. Between the shit coming out on cable (hello, three nights of Erin Brochovich!) and the shit Hollywood poops out, it's only a matter of time before you flick on the tube and are met with 24-hour marathons of Monk/Law & Order/Flavor Of New York Rock of My Super Sweet Road Rules Dance Off, back-to-back-to-back presentations of I, Robot, and channel vs. channel of original flick vs. remake vs. re-remake. I'm seriously thinking about learning how to read. This shit is flat-out ridiculous... Word.

"Apatowian one-trick jackass"

So Michael Cera is going to be in it?

Ahhhhh Shit! You lie! What the hell is going on? Is imagination in the land where imagination and plastic surgery that rests on one's imagination gone!?!

It's time to start the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth! It's time to break out the sack cloth and ashes!
I CANNOT take another remake! I just CAN'T!

*runs off shrieking into the internet underverse*

Um... No.

At this point if Hollywood "accidentally" blew up would any of us be sad? Yeah... I didn't think so.

kill me now.

No "top tier" talent would even consider remaking this. By definition anyone who would allow themselves to be involved in the destruction of this film is neither top tier nor in possession of any talent. Someone needs to take the cork off their fork and shove it into the eyes of the jackhole who suggested this.

Possible mini diversion:

Is there any movie you'd like to see remade?

I'd have to go with Gor. Taleena's animal skin bikini is way too 80's. I cringe whenever I pop in my Gor: Special Edition DVD For The Unwilling Semi-Virgin and see her with her big hair and Boy George makeup. 80's film aesthetics suck on a general basis, but when you try to apply them to a fantasy planet visited by poor (yet yummy) Tarl Cabbot it makes my brain hurt.

I want a remake. Now.

Red Dawn - released in 1984. I was 9 years old.

I thought it sucked then, I think it sucks now. Oh, I get the "awesome in an ironic way" thing, but it's by no means one of my cinematic sacred cows. They could scour that fucker from the registry and I wouldn't bat an eyelash.

Are we starting a pool on what "top-tier" talent will be cast? If so, I've got fifty cents on Will Ferrell/ Dane Cook.

Wait, a remake of a remake when the ORIGINAL had Marlon Brando and David Niven, and 25 years later the REMAKE had Steve Martin (pre-suckage) and Michael Caine? Who the fuck do they think they can cast that is better than either of those pairs? Assholes.

hi there, long time reader, first time writer. I cannot cannot for the the life of me know why Fame should be remade with the same name. All those Step up, center stage etc movies already suck and have already been done. Oh well.

You know, if I read the whole damn article before posting a comment it would save everyone so much trouble (mostly of having to deal with my claptrap). As it is, now I look like a douchebag who likes to make himself feel smart by repeating things in an article but with more esoteric and unwarranted detail. Great!

i hate everyone. where the hell is the murder tank when you need it???!!?!!

I care, DarthCorleone. ;)

Now stop whining like a sissy and go get the MurderTank.

"Is it true someone is remaking Rosemary's Baby with Jessica Alba?"

It is true - and you know what she does when she finds out, Sharon? Do you? I'll tell you what she does - she heads straight into the kitchen to scream into her oven.

Is it true someone is remaking Rosemary's Baby with Jessica Alba? Because THAT is shameful.

Sharon,

I DEMAND that you tell me you're joking. I don't even care if it's an obvious joke and I shouldnt have fallen for it. If you are serious and there's so much as a scintilla of truth in that statement, I may shit a literal brick.

I have been awake for the last four days. Last night I finally went to sleep. Today I awoke(just a few minutes ago, effectively missing one of the reasons I haven't slept) to find out that they are not only remaking Poltergeist and Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, but motherfucking Rashomon. So, I'm going back to bed to dream of fluffy kittens and shiny unicorns that I will gladly strangle and gut to satisfy the blood lust of the first soulless demon that will smite all of those involved in this twattery. Wake me when the crazy stops.

Red Dawn..oh my god, we NEED to AVENGE THIS. AVENGE THIS!

WOLVERIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINES!

Ugh on the duo they're tapping for this! Mconaheyhey and Filler Stiller are just. not. funny. at all, ok?!! I feel like it's insulting to the talents of Martin and Caine to remake DRS. There's no way to top the cinematic hilarity of it really.

Skitt;

That there made me laugh. And being the allergy ridden, snotty mess that I am, an honest to god bubble came out my nose. Dammit. I feel like that tiny asthmatic kid from Little Giants.

Apparently, Mella, commence the passing of said masonry. The remake has been confirmed.

Can you even imagine what fresh hell is going to happen with this one? The scary movie with no effects is going to just bang you over the head like "It's the devil! She's knocked up with devil spawn! Do you see what we're doing here? DEVIL!"
Ruth Gordon is dead, what's the point of remaking anything she's in? Next up will be Harold and Maude with Pete Wentz (because emo is just as good as emotionally disturbed) and Edie McClurg (quirky and now even older!). God help us.

"Oh, LADY Fanny of Omaha!"

Red Dawn was already remade - as an episode of South Park. Better than the original, too, which I regret to say was watched by me in a theater when I was still but a callow youth of 26. The air was filled with testosterone-laced chest-thumping Reaganism and Americans were so damned bullish they regularly cast about looking for tiny island nations to fuck over.

Red Dawn was about what any plot synopsis should relate - a Republican wet dream. I hear it's still shown around the Bush White House.

I shall deploy a flock of suicide vest-equipped Norway rats to unleash Hell upon the studio. They can go in to soften up the position before the Murder Tank shows up.

(Question: Is the Murder Tank about the size of the Megaweapon from Warrior of the Lost World? Just asking.)

I believe, Squrrox that you are as real as you need to be.

Anyone who quotes Frank Zappa - well, you're OK by me.

Sigh, Mike R. I agree, if Jonathan Pryce was in it I would go see the DRS remake. Is that a good enough excuse to bring him back?