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Dirty, Dirty Puppets

By Cindy Davis | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (12)



300px-SesameStreet4-DMovieMagic-Octopus.jpg

So on the front end of this news, Cameron Diaz has been offered the lead role in a Henson puppet movie. At first this idea seems perfectly benign, you might be picturing Cameron’s goofy laugh as she and Kermit sing some silly song or pretend to be attracted to each other to draw Miss Piggy’s ire. But really, we need to dig down past the headlines a little bit until we get to the part where things come out the back end looking more like Muppet porn. Yes, I am deeply sorry I strung those two words together.

The Happytime Murders will feature a cast of the Jim Henson Company puppets, along with humans and will take place in a world where the two species live together - although the puppets are not treated equally. Feeling like second-class citizens drives the critters to drugs, drinking and debauchery. The Happytime Gang is a furry group who used to put on a popular kid’s show and now are being systematically murdered; it’s up to a human/puppet P.I. team to hunt down the ruthless serial killer before the entire cast is wiped out. But this will not be the usual lighter, G or PG-13 rated fare…no, no, no…this film wants to go to a much darker place. The nasty news is spewing all over the interwebs, apparently originating from nymag.com, who claim they’ve have seen the script and describe one scene:

“…a character opening the wrong door at the “Puppet Pleasureland,” and finding a cow puppet on a massage table having all of its teats milked by an octopus puppet. Reads the stage direction: “The cow MOOS in ecstasy. MILK is just SQUIRTING EVERYWHERE.”

Firstly, I’m wondering if Godtopus has purposely neglected to inform us of his moonlighting. And secondly, I feel dirty.

Lionsgate has picked up The Happytime Murders which will be directed by Brian Henson (Jim’s son) and produced by Brian and his sister, Lisa.









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Comments

Angel meets Muppets?

Posted by: BWeaves at November 11, 2010 5:05 PM

So....Greg the Bunny: the Movie?

Posted by: Brian at November 11, 2010 5:05 PM

CASTLEMUPPETS? Please, please, please, please?

Posted by: BWeaves at November 11, 2010 5:06 PM

If they start singing, I'm calling shenanigans. Avenue Q is good as is.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at November 11, 2010 5:08 PM

So....Greg the Bunny: the Movie?
or Meet the Feebles without the accents?

Posted by: dr. pisaster at November 11, 2010 5:09 PM

that link is NSFW, by the way

Posted by: dr. pisaster at November 11, 2010 5:10 PM

Meet The Feebles is the dirtiest "muppet" movie ever I don't care how much milk is squirting all over the place in that scene.

Posted by: JenVegas at November 11, 2010 5:48 PM

you're making this up. i might have almost bought it til you said it was being directed and produced by henson's kids.

Posted by: idleprimate at November 11, 2010 7:09 PM

please let this be true oh god yes

Posted by: Rest In Peace at November 11, 2010 8:38 PM

I .....

Didn't we talk about this a couple of weeks ago? Have I traveled back in time? Am I living in the past right now? Is there a Delorean outside? ....Nope, just a couple of Sentras.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at November 11, 2010 9:38 PM

Does it have a song singing the praises of sodomy like Meet The Feebles? (Surely Jackson's finest hour).

Youtube it if you have never heard it before, it's insanely catchy.

Sod-a-me, oh you may think it rather odd of me, that I enjoy sod-a mee...

Posted by: Bernie at November 12, 2010 3:49 AM

Wha?

Posted by: Aislinn at November 12, 2010 8:12 AM