Pajiba

a superhero movie about a man with strap-on wings
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I'd take a superhero movie about a woman with a strap-on over this mess any day and twice on Sundays.

You mean you've never seen The Adventures of the Mighty Courageous Cootch and Minute Muff?

Hawkman will also be making an appearance in a two-hour episode of “Smallville” this February

STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!!

CHRIST I wanna burn that show to the ground. Just let the fucker put on the cape and let that be an end to it.

END TO IT!!

I still want the Aquaman movie. Then maybe people will appreciate the level of shit shoveled at us as superhero films on a regular basis. Suddenly Fantastic 4 2: The Wettening doesn't seem as bad, does it? Emo Spidey should be it's own franchise by comparison.

I could not tell you who Hawkman’s arch-nemesis is. Probably Country Farm Mouse Man.

HA! I don't really think Country Farm Mouse Man would pose much of a threat to Hawkman. Therefore, he's a poor choice for an arch-nemesis. Deforestation, on the other hand...

You don't even give a movie a chance. You yourself have admitted you know fuck all about the comic so why bother judging it when you have absolutely no onfo about the comic or the movie? Superheroes never look cool. Try wearing a cape and a hood like superman or batman and you'll realise how stupid you look but they can make pretty good movies.

...part Indiana Jones, part Da Vinci Code and part Ghost

OK...OK...so how bout this?

A middle-aged archeologist with terrible taste in hairstyles is murdered by his best friend, who works for the Nazis, when said middle-aged man discovers an illegal collectioon of funds being used to pay for a strip mining operation in some far off jungle. So he hires Whoopi Goldberg to convince Karen Allen that he can communicate from beyond the grave. There's a scene right after she gets convinced that starts out really awkwardly as middle-aged guy has taken over Whoopi's body and Whoopi and Karen Allen are about to make out. The movie cuts to a brief intermission so people can wipe the little bits of Milk Dud puke away from their mouths.

Back to the film!

So middle-aged dead guy (We'll call him Dave), Whoopi Goldberg, and Karen Allen go the jungle (queue world map with red line that extends from NYC to London, to Cairo, to Khamaki'si'kuwha airstrip in Zaire) where our group arrives. (They only had to buy 2 tix since Dave is dead whoo!) They sneak off to the strip mining operation where a bunch of conveniently placed and overly complicated puzzls lie in their way to get to the bottom of the dig to the Nth metal supplies. GASP!! That last puzzle brought Dave back from the dead. (Queue overly dramatic, ripply-muscled 'Making some metal fuckin wings' montage) Dave makes the wings. He steals a spear from a local tribal witch-doctor and goes on a tear only to find that GASP! reanimated Hitler is funding the dig! They battle. hitler dies again. Dave, Whoopi, and Karen lay dynamite around the dig site to try and blow it up and collapse all the walls to hide the presence of the Nth metal.

KAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!

The ine explodes...only, there are after shocks. GASP! What's this!!! Aliens come up out of the soil!!! Nth metal is Alien technology.

WHAT A STUPID FUCKING ENDING!!!! GODDAMN I HATE IDIANA JONES!!!!

The Indiana Jones angle comes from Hawkman having been an Egyptian prince in a past life, where he was married to Hawkgirl. That explains the fondness for archaic weaponry as well as the Da Vinci Code angle (presumably he'll have to decipher archaeological clues to unlock the secrets of his identity). The Ghost connection comes from the whole reincarnation/remembering previous lives angle.

Now, whether this works as a film or not is of course impossible to gauge in advance; the concept isn't honestly that bad though. Like any film it might be poorly written or helmed by a director with no grasp of how to tell a story, or for that matter, no respect for or interest in the source material. The acting might suck, the cinematography might be puerile, and the editing might be spastic. The sound work might be jarring and the costumes might be risible.

The concept though isn't really likely to be the core problem IMO if the film blows.

Maybe they'll go with Defenseless Garter Snake Man. Could be a little anticlimactic.

I'm still waiting for the big screen adaptation of The Confessor, with sidekick Altarboy, mainly because this movie would inappropriate on so many levels. I think this movie would be very timely as The Confessor turns into a vampire and Altarboy has to kill him, and then turns into the new Confessor, i.e SEQUEL IN MY PANTS.

I loved it in Xmen 3 when Angel burst out of the restraints and then jumped out the window to fly away.

A flying man could be cool!

I wanna know if this tale is going to have this Hawkman be a authoritarian fascist reactionary like the comic book. Kelsey Grammer, et al, need the work.

So basically you could take out this guy with a batch of DDT, right?

Posted by: Wednesday at December 21, 2009 12:25 PM
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A little birdshot and a damn big roasting pan might be a little easier to find, but somebody other than me has to pick the lead out of his ass.

Dude that is total BS!!!!! Hawkman has been around since the 40's. He's Justice Society not Justice League. He's an amazing character, with a deep rich history. You must be a Fucking Retard to think Adrien Brody could play Carter Hall. Brad Pitt yes, but Adrien Brody, WTF. You seriously need to do some actual research on a character before you start the insults. And the Indiana Jones part, yeah think Ancient Egypt.

Screw you man. Aquaman rocks

Optimus Rhyme writes: "Adrien Brody wouldn't need a costume."

Did I miss something? Can Adrien Brody fly now?

A tale of star-crossed lovers reincarnated across thousands of years.

An Egyptian prince betrayed thousands of years ago.

There's Hollywood potential in this character.

Yes, the original entry betrays the fact the author knows so little about Hawkman that he speaks from the mouth between his nether cheeks.

If you don't know anything about Hawkman, then why are you knocking the concept? Go and do a bit of reading. Hawkman is a great character if you'd take the time to get to know him.

ok, so like...uhm....you're like saying because you think a comic book character out there aint cool...you're what? speaking for the masses? you cant muster up the imagination to actually see how this could work? what was the last super hero movie you saw that you liked...and why? and dont tell me it was super cool...or it rocked....that says nothing...i mean i try to at least see how it could work....if anything...

Hey they are making an Antman film, so how does this come as a shock to anyone? Here's hoping for a Wonder Twins movie.

Just wanted to point this out:

About the quality of this proposed film:

There was a time pre-1978 when no one thought a Superman movie could be done.
Richard Donner proved them wrong.

Critics initially scoffed at the idea of new Batman movie after the disaster that was "Batnipple-er BatMAN and Robin".
Enter Chris Nolan.

Spider-Man was long considered an impossibility for a proper cinematic treatment.
But in 2002 Sam Raimi debunked that theory.

Finally, let us not forget the genius that was Iron Man- a character that is about as peripheral in the Marvel universe as Hawkman is in DC's.
They made it work ..big time.

Point being, Hawkman- who has a pretty cool back story- has the potential to be the focus of an eye popping and entertaining adventure film in the right hands.

Get a writer to write the article who actually knows something about Hawkman, instead of some idiot who refers to him as "the fringe elements of the Super Friends." Really, if your experience comes from some saturday morning cartoon, that's your own ignorance, but don't then use that ignorance to color an entertainment/news report. I really don't care if this jackass thinks Adrien Brody would be perfect for the role (which he wouldn't, though I think he's a pretty great actor), but please spare us these opinions coming from someone who self-admittedly doesn't understand or even KNOW the character. Get rid of this moronic tool.

So, this is idle conjecture? Thanks for the heads up, Chris. Of course, DC Comics and The fine folks at The WB haven't really been conversing well these days....

Would be cool to be one of the writers that this is out to, though :)