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Letterman Addresses His Affair on Tonight's Show

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (69)



david-letterman-regina-lasko-extort.jpg

I’ll try to refrain, tonight, from being a judgmental asshole with regard to the Letterman controversy. And maybe, given my personal closeness to the man, I oughtn’t be discussing it anymore. But I was weirdly heartened by a lot of the comments left on last Friday’s post, most of them defending Dave. Ironically enough, as harsh as I was on him in that post, I nevertheless spent much of the weekend defending his actions to my wife. Although, it’s hard not to sympathize with her point: Dave slept with subordinates. And in a manner, consent — real consent — is impossible in that situation. It’s hard to defeat that argument, and most of my attempts were futile or weak. That Dave is an exception to the employer/employee rule — he’s a recluse, and the only women he’s ever likely to see are those he works with. That he’s not the type of person to take advantage of his position. That he’s been doing this for decades, and no one has brought a complaint, so it must be OK, right?

Weak sauce.

I’ve read pretty much every article I could find on the situation over the last few days. I know that the affairs were apparently broken off before the marriage. But then again, the marriage was only in March, and I don’t know that they were broken off before Harry was born. Moreover, it’s become apparent — especially in light of comments Dave made for tonight’s show (below) — that his wife wasn’t aware of the affairs while they were happening (excluding the possibility of an “arrangement”). Also, there was a room in the Ed Sullivan theater that was used, specifically, to sleep with women. That’s got creepy written all over it. On the extortion front, it was Stephanie Birkett’s diary, pages of which were allegedly stolen by that CBS producer, that formed the basis for the blackmail.

The jury is still out. I do admire Letterman’s candidness. I respect the way he’s handled the situation, even if I do not respect the situation he’s gotten himself into. And tonight, he addresses the situation further. He’s taking it head-on, and turning himself into a punchline, in the hopes — probably — of taking the sting away from other late-night hosts. I dunno. I’m curious as to what Jon Stewart might say tonight.

In the meantime, here’s a snippet from tonight’s opening monologue. You gotta admit, it’s the best monologue he’s had in years.

And finally, here’s a portion of what Letterman had to say about the incident, from a transcript that Nikkie Finke was sent:

“I’m terribly sorry that I put the staff in that position. Inadvertently, I just wasn’t thinking ahead. And, moreover, the staff here has been wonderfully supportive to me, not just through this furor, but through all the years that we’ve been on television and especially all the years here at CBS, so, again, my thanks to the staff for, once again, putting up with something stupid I’ve gotten myself involved in.

“Now the other thing is my wife, Regina. She has been horribly hurt by my behavior, and when something happens like that, if you hurt a person and it’s your responsibility, you try to fix it. And at that point, there’s only two things that can happen: either you’re going to make some progress and get it fixed, or you’re going to fall short and perhaps not get it fixed, so let me tell you folks, I got my work cut out for me.”

So, now that we know a little more about the affairs, about the circumstances, and even about the extortion, where does everyone stand now? I’m honestly just curious. And maybe someone can help me out in my defense of Dave.









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Comments

Henry Kissinger once said that power was the ultimate aphrodisiac, this is just another instance of that. It is pretty creepy, and if someone instead of Letterman did this, say, Glenn Beck, we'd verbally demolish them.

We don't have to defend the dick moves of people we admire, respect the ability of the man, not the man.

Posted by: George at October 5, 2009 8:54 PM

Dude had a room at work just for banging? That is straight up gross. HOWEVER, that is still between Letterman and his wife. Do I think it is reprehensible behavior? Yes. Would I straight up shiv my husband for doing that to me? YES.
If any of the women decide to press charges against Letterman, I'm okay with that too. If they do press charges and then Letterman runs from his punishment, will I be pissed and insist on his return and that he serves his sentence? Yes.
Thankfully, I gave up on late night talk shows long ago.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at October 5, 2009 8:54 PM

Who fucking cares? What consenting adults do in private is their own business, famous or otherwise.

Posted by: Cat at October 5, 2009 9:04 PM

Eh. I'm not really a fan, so I'm not emotionally engaged, but I do think he's funny and I thought the ten minute clip of him telling the story was absolutely brilliant.

If it's a moral judgment you want, I can't offer one. At least he's taking responsibility for it in an entertaining and unsappy way.

Posted by: Lucas at October 5, 2009 9:06 PM

I think George summed it up pretty well. I dig Letterman, but the guy fucked up and doesn't get a pass just for being a great late night host and a funny guy. It is the business of him and his wife, for sure, but I say whatever happens next, he did this and needs to take the consequences.

Props to him, though, for handling it like a pro and owning up to everything.

I came into this comment about to make some kind of statement about not giving celebs passes- "blah blah Polanski doesn't get off the hook and neither does Letterman"- but I realized it's a shitty comparison.

Posted by: krza at October 5, 2009 9:09 PM

candor

Posted by: laredo at October 5, 2009 9:12 PM

Question is, do these hijanks go on forever if there's no extortion attempt? I like Letterman, but it seems people in these situations are sorry only when they get caught.

Posted by: stryker1121 at October 5, 2009 9:12 PM

It is my deep and abiding love of this man's talent and the lens which I viewd him through which makes this so personally devastating. I laughed as Dave mocked the sexual screw-ups and scandals because I sincerely believed that he would never behave in such a scurrilous manner.
Now? It's going to be very hard for me to see him in any other light than as a cheap, womanizing phony.
I still admire his talent and ability and will still hold him up as an example of comedic genius but I won't be able to admire him as I did in the past.
I have tried to think of scenarios where Dave, being surrounded by women who were likely crushing on him, simply gave in and yielded to temptation. Hey, male egos (especially among us older fellers) love that kind of attention.
Truth: I was one simple "yes" away from being in an identical situation but when it came down to it, I said "no". Dave could have and should have done the same.
So, sadly, I can't find a way to defend him, DR.

Posted by: Spender at October 5, 2009 9:17 PM

I'd like people to stop assuming women aren't capable of consent in a situation with a man in power. Power is an aphrodisiac, not a roofie. Women sleep with powerful men for many reasons, and one of those reasons is because it is hot and we might, you know, want to.

I am not defending anything, any more than I defended Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky - what they did was inappropriate at best (and gross at worst). But I never once thought Monica wasn't capable of saying "No" or walking away - and I think Dave's staffers were probably big girls, too. Dave obviously is a weak man in this capacity, and that sucks. But I haven't heard anything implying coercion or force, so I still think it's a problem between Dave and his wife. Sometimes women want to bang a dude in power, and sometimes that dude is too weak to do the right thing. That doesn't automatically mean the dude was preying on poor, defenseless women. Chances are, those women are fully formed adults capable of making their own moral decisions.

Posted by: Tammy at October 5, 2009 9:23 PM

Well, at least he's being honest about it and willing to face whatever music there will be. Yeah, you can argue he's only being honest about it because he HAS to, at this point, but plenty of people just keep on being weaselly even when the cards are on the table. As in,"Ah did not have sexual relations with that woman." I mean, I'm a dyed-in-the-wool flaming liberal who loved Clinton, but that was straight-up lame.

"He who lies falls into a deep pit." - Balki

Posted by: MM at October 5, 2009 9:28 PM

Yeah, I'm not digging your argument that consent is removed because of the employer/employee characterisation of the relationship. No consent is necessarily rape, and this situation is a fucking long way from rape.

You could argue that an inappropriate power imbalance exists in certain relationships - professor / student, doctor / patient - but you can't say it removes consent (hence doctors that fuck their patients don't go to prison, but they may be sanctioned by a relevant medical association, and can lose their right to practice).

Further, I'd argue that the imbalance of power in the employee / employer relationship is a question of degree (and not prima facie inappropriate, as above). This isn't some sweatshop worker who can't afford to feed her kids if she doesn't suck off the supervisor, this is a well-to-do intern at a major TV network, protected by the world's stupidest sue-everyone-for-fucking-anything system, who fell for her charming boss. Was her job threatened? Her career? Doesn't seem to be the case; surely you give benefit of the doubt to the man.

Inappropriate? Maybe, ask his wife and the intern(s). Lack of consent? That's a long bow to draw...

Posted by: Peter G at October 5, 2009 9:36 PM

/consults with his demographic

/it sucks, in a non-ironic yet, ironic way that plays to my universe

Posted by: DorksnorklerSlim at October 5, 2009 9:48 PM

Keep im mind this: Dave was being blackmailed and the blackmailer also allegedly plotted to kidnap Dave and Regina's son; let's not try to make Dave as the evil bastard in this case.

Posted by: Corey W. at October 5, 2009 10:03 PM

I think I agree with the line of thought that Tammy and Peter G are tapping into here. Beyond that, I'd say I'll reserve judgment until more of the story comes out, but honestly - as much as I've appreciated David Letterman over the years - I'm not really judging him over this, and I don't anticipate judging him over this, as it's not my place. I don't really think any less of him. If he screwed up, then so be it. He's human as we all are. He apologized.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at October 5, 2009 10:09 PM

"I'm terribly sorry that I put the staff in that position.

I'll bet he wasn't so sorry while his staff was in that position.

(Someone had to.)

Posted by: SaBrina at October 5, 2009 10:19 PM

Should Letterman have ever been involved with women on his staff? Of course. Why? Because this stuff ALWAYS comes out. ALWAYS.

Besides that? When someone presses charges, then I'll be interested.
~

Posted by: Meander at October 5, 2009 10:37 PM

I have not read all the articles out there as yet, but I feel I have a basic grasp of the situation as it is being reported. Meanwhile, we don't know the entire situation or the circumstances, so we shouldn't jump to conclusions based on limited information. And I just can't agree with this statement: And in a manner, consent — real consent — is impossible in that situation. In a situation where the attraction and desire was mutual, there could absolutely be consent between a superior and his employee.
Of course there are situations where power is abused to manipulate, and in those cases, I would expect to see some charge or declaration of sexual harrassment, even now. And perhaps those accusations are yet to come, but I haven't come to the conclusion that Letterman manipulated or forced these affairs. If such information comes out, I'm sure I will be greatly upset.
I also don't have reason to believe there was a "sex room". I would think that since Letterman lives in Connecticut and commutes every day, he does have a private room at the studio where he can rest. Perhaps he's even had to spend a night. But to deem it specifically a room for sex seems ridiculous.
Dave let down his family and friends, and some of his audience is very disappointed. But unless something outside of consentual sex happened, I don't think it's any of my business.

Posted by: Cindy at October 5, 2009 10:42 PM

Seriously speaking?

None of you/me has the standing or morals to judge this man ON ANYTHING!

Based on WHAT?

Do you/I know his wife? WHO gives a good GOD DAMNED? All the married folk here, let you who hasn't been tempted throw the first stone. If any of you had the coin this dude has you would have done THE SAME! Go ahead...say you wouldn't. If it were me, I would have fucked the dude/girl/intern/midget/puppet that shined my shoes. This shit ain't even about conventional morals. It's about what YOU DO. when you have the POWER to do whatever you want.

This guy is tamer than most. If it were ME? I'd be fucking female dolphins, female ponies, boy ponies, buffaloes on top of cows.... NO CONDOMS

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 5, 2009 10:47 PM

I'm not sure what, if any, my thoughts are about Dave. I think he's an entertaining fella, but he holds no special place in my heart, so I have no emotional attachment to him.

I feel VERY sorry for Stephanie Birkett right now. I don't know what the relationship was like between Dave and Regina when Stephanie was in the picture and if Stephanie was "the other woman" and was cool with it or not, but how horrifyingly awful to have your personal journal/diary pages stolen by an ex and to have him use his knowledge of your prior relationship to try to extort your former lover. And then, to have it splashed ALL THE FUCK over the airwaves.

You didn't ask for opinions on Stephanie, but that's where my sympathies lie at the moment. I feel bad for Dave's wife and I feel bad for Stephanie.

Posted by: Lainey at October 5, 2009 10:54 PM

Dude was banging women on the side, who cares? Give the man props for still being able to crank an erection at his age.

Posted by: Professor Science at October 5, 2009 10:59 PM

I think this falls under the category of:
"None of my fucking business."

Besides, Rich and powerful men get laid? What a freakin' newsflash! Did it interfere with his ability to govern?
Oh wait, haven't we had this argument before?
It was boring then too.

Funny story:
My Ex-husband was at Lewis And Clark College at the same time as Lewinsky. We got a phone calls from "journalists" (sneer quotes) trying to dig up dirt on her from college. Ex-Mr. Lwa'e' didn't know her, but it was amusing the lengths the press went to. I still think he should have made shit up just to mess with them.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at October 5, 2009 11:14 PM

man has sex with co-worker, time to get over it.

it's his business, and trying to explore this whole 'real consent' issue is ridiculous - why not then explore every reason why your wife/husband fell in-love with you in the first place, would she have done so if you were a homeless trash collector?

his so called 'sex room' was probably his private dressing room...

kudos to letterman for outing this plot.

Posted by: jb at October 5, 2009 11:16 PM

Look I know its nowere near the same amount of horrible thing.

But I kind of feel the same way about this as I did with the whole Polanski thing. Just cause they have a carreer you respect doesn't mean when they do fucked up things in there personal life it's ok.

Of course in the case of Letterman it was all consentual and is really between him and his wife. But I still don't think anyones carreer in entertainment makes them somehow impervious to normal morals.

Posted by: Ben at October 5, 2009 11:28 PM

Listen, Dustin, I know EXACTLY how you feel. Your comparison to how some of us would react if we found out Jon Stewart was doing the same thing in your last post was apt - Stewart is my hero. Seriously, as a journalism student, as an aspiring (in my head only, but nonetheless) funnyperson, as an admirer of classy, thoughtful, and all-round intelligent human beings. He's one of a very few celebrities who I thoroughly respect for more than just their looks or talent, but for their humanity. Finding out he did something that violated those principles would shake me and my trust, make me feel like a fool, somehow personally betrayed, and wondering whether there's anyone left to like in Hollywood.

I get it.

But I can't help you defend Dave, here, I'm sorry.

The only consolation I can offer is that we don't know the details, he's handling it with as much class as can be managed, and we all make mistakes. I wish he and his wife the best (and I hope it works out between them, for their sake and yours, Dustin, because that would somehow reflect slightly better on Letterman). Let's see where it goes.

Posted by: dsbs at October 5, 2009 11:42 PM

BSlim:
As I posted above, I was in a near identical situation.
I had an intern who was crushing on me. All that I had to do was say "yes".
Was it tempting? You bet. Good for my ego? Yes.
As a married man and this young woman's boss, I said "no".
That is what Dave could have and should have done.
I realize that he wasn't married at the time but he WAS in a long term relationship that was as close to marriage as one can be without the license.

Posted by: Spender at October 5, 2009 11:44 PM

Uh, I don't really watch Letterman, but from what I've read here, he's made a bit of a career mocking others for their sexual screw-ups? Now that is hypocritical jack-assery, I must say.

Posted by: dsbs at October 5, 2009 11:50 PM

While he's certainly hypocritical and a sleeze, one certainly can't say that he's done anything legally wrong by cheating on the woman he had been dating for 20 years. No laws were broken if the women willingly slept with him.

But...

Should it be established that there was an unspoken rule amongst young female interns/staffers that climbing Letterman's "Corporate Ladder" was the only way to climb the corporate ladder, then that's a very different class of low.

Or maybe fucking your way to the top is considered "honorable" in this day and age?

Posted by: Some Guy at October 6, 2009 12:01 AM

i think the extortion is the real story (what a dick!!), and not dave.
so he had sex. i don't even care how dirty or kinky that sex was, if it was even that??!? he's not a political or religious leader--he's in the entertainment industry, and unless i hear from the women that he did something hurtful or illegal, i just don't care.
most people (in america) are so fucked up when it comes to sex, that the topic alone makes people judgemental and uncomfortable; and i don't doubt the sarah palins of the world are gonna jump on this to try and bury the man.
i respect his honesty with his audience and know that he knows if he's going to survive this, it's gonna be his fans that support him.
as for his wife....there's gotta be a reason they didn't marry for 20 years, but in the end that reason and what is going on between them now, is strictly their concern.

Posted by: maxpurr9 at October 6, 2009 12:07 AM

I've got to chime in on the 'true consent is impossible' argument. That's a flawed statement, DR. I know you hate adultery, but let's be clear...every woman he slept with had, unless we're not being told the whole story, an opportunity to say no. So, based on what we know, we're talking about consensual sex between willing partners.

Someone talked about how bad they feel for Stephanie Birkitt and Dave's wife Regina Lasko. I feel for them as well. But let's take an objective look at Birkitt. If any of you were watching during the time period which Dave used her as a correspondent, she's not a bad looking girl. Smart, funny, and relatively pretty. I remember, in fact, the airing of the show when Dave announced she'd be leaving. It was very touching. So why is it that her EX-boyfriend, after basically absconding with her private writings, was the one to try to extort money from Dave and not her? I question whether she, or any of the other women Dave may or may not have slept with, had any intention of bringing it to light. If even one woman who knew about it or had experienced it firsthand decided that Dave was extorting sex from female staffers and needed to be exposed, she would have done it, at least if the women that I know are any indicator.

The fact of the matter is, unless there's some deep, dark underlying story to these affairs...that's all they are. Affairs. And the victims here are Birkitt and Lasko...both betrayed by men they trusted (Halderman and Letterman, respectively).

Posted by: Smokin at October 6, 2009 12:12 AM

Why is this even a surprise? I must be a very jaded person because this is not shocking and hardly even scandalous in my view. We are talking about consenting adults. The women seem really stupid or really desperate but that was their choice.

He may just be a talk show host but it is show business, he just got caught.

Posted by: Candy at October 6, 2009 12:17 AM

No one has ever named any direct names for using the "casting couch" in Hollywood, but lets not pretend it doesn't exist.

Case in point:

Megan Fox

Most of you seem to be viewing this as just sex between consenting adults. There is more here at play than just two consenting adults. If he met a woman in a bar and had an affair then who the fuck cares. But if he let women trade sexual favors for positions or promotions within his company than he is disgusting and should be chastised. It's called the "casting couch" phenomenon. It is otherwise known as sexual exploitation.

Let's not be so naive as to assume that a man with a private room in his theater--just for sex with staffers--isn't using his power as a tool to coerce women into sex.

Not sex, no promotion. Simple as that.

Posted by: Some Guy at October 6, 2009 12:23 AM

I realize that he wasn't married at the time but he WAS in a long term relationship that was as close to marriage as one can be without the license.

Posted by: Spender at October 5, 2009 11:44 PM

----------------------------------------------


Then I salute you, and take into account that I'm not, by any means, saying that I've even had the pleasure of cheating in such a manner. I may very well may be speaking from the other side. Make of that what you will. :)

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 6, 2009 1:01 AM

BSlim,

May I inquire what drugs you're on? All these smiley faces are . . . well, odd. And where may I procure some of this drug?

Posted by: MM at October 6, 2009 1:14 AM

Mostly cocaine.....


hahahahaha


*Is he kidding?*


I'm kidding.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 6, 2009 1:34 AM

Some Guy >> The general attitude here is wait-and-see. Yes, the "casting couch" and sexual coercion in the name of professional advancement (or simply keeping one's job) are bad. No one is disputing that. We're just saying that it's not automatically true of this situation and the worst is not necessarily the case.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at October 6, 2009 1:35 AM

Affair: sort it out yourselves, nothing to see here.
Affairs: serial behavior. Different story.

My initial understanding was that it was a one off, but this changes things. I can see how the wrong choice can be made once- I have been in that position myself and thankfully, chosen wisely- but a pattern of behavior is something else. The question of respect in relation to the other women depends very much on what their expectations of the "relationship" were (watch this space), but what seems clear is that his wife had no idea what was going on, nor would have "approved" if she had (for want of a better phrase).

I'll bet he's praying she forgives, otherwise $2 million extortion is going to look like chump change next to his alimony.

Posted by: Squirrelgripper at October 6, 2009 3:25 AM

The kinder gentler BSlim is freaking me out. Where oh where is my beloved curmudgeon?

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at October 6, 2009 3:30 AM

Casting couch or not, as a woman, I have been in that situation before, and I could always say no. Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. It can happen that the woman is perfectly happy with what's going on, you know? Sometimes we have sex with a man just because we like him, or because we feel flattered by his attentions, nothing else. This is something that concerns only the man, his wife and the woman (or women) he slept with. Also his employers, if he was doing it in the work place or during work hours. Whatever went on in that dressing room was between consenting adults. It's not our business at all.

Posted by: Cuca at October 6, 2009 5:10 AM

Eh, morality is subjective. The only reason I don't cheat on my girlfriend (this girlfriend specifically) is because she'd be hurt if she found out. Not because society tells me it's wrong, or worse yet, because God will punish me.

Do whatever the fuck you want, just try not to hurt anyone. I have no more right to judge Letterman than he does to judge me.

Posted by: bendiagram at October 6, 2009 5:51 AM

Meh. I'm in complete agreement with what George said way, way back at the beginning. If, say, Katherine Heigl were caught with her pants down (so to speak) don't even try to pretend there wouldn't be a rousing chorus of crowing "Rainbow Killer Is A Cheating Bitch!" I've seen bits of Letterman's show maybe half a dozen times, never more than 10 minutes at once, so I have no attachment to the man and would offer from a relatively neutral standpoint (not married, never been cheated on that I know of, no bones to pick) that he's a jackass.

It's true we don't know all the details. It's true that there's every chance the female staffers he slept with were more than happy to do it, either because his power/talent was a turn-on or because they figured it would help their career. But it's still an abuse of his position as their boss; what Dustin said is right, it's not real consent when there's such a power imbalance. That doesn't mean no consent; I'm not contending that it was in any way equivalent to rape. But when something could quite legitimately be the subject of a sexual harrassment lawsuit it goes out of the realm of being "between two consenting adults", which is why I feel OK about expressing my opinion on the whole thing. That opinion? To reiterate, he's a jackass. Simple as that.

Posted by: Shay at October 6, 2009 6:54 AM

Here's what I want to know: Why is the Letterman story top news? (Google News)

How about some decent health care news?

Posted by: Cindy at October 6, 2009 8:13 AM

Yeah I don't really think it's any of our business. Sucks for the wife and the girl whose diary was stolen though. As for the consent part, I recently had an affair with a 22 year old subordinate and if anything, the fact that I was his boss, just made me more attractive to him. There was no power chokehold. The person in the senior position can often be just as, or even more vulnerable, since they are the ones who'll be held accountable. I was wrong to do it (duh), but I got seduced and in the end I got hurt. I don't think it really matters that the gender role was reversed in this instance, and to be quite frank, I think it borders on sexism to autimatically push these women (who had an affair with the letter man) in the victim box.

What was my point again? Oh yeah, don't mess with your colleagues. It can be fun for a while (holy shit did we have some fun), but it WILL turn to shit and probably won't be worth the horribly awkward aftermath. Right Dave?

Posted by: Pants at October 6, 2009 8:19 AM

I slept with a professor in university and I'll tell you firsthand that there was the opportunity for consent. In fact, I was pretty much overwhelmingly the aggressor and I truly just have a thing for funny, smart guys who are in power. I didn't expect anything from him in exchange for sex and guess what? He had a room in the school where he would have sex too, it was called his office. It really isn't that creepy.

Letterman's sexy and I'm sure that's the reason women slept with him. I probably would have done the same thing in the same situation if he was single.

Posted by: becks at October 6, 2009 8:45 AM

Well, Spambot obviously thinks it's ok.

Posted by: admin at October 6, 2009 9:48 AM

I really think the extortion is the real story here. Cheating on your girlfriend? Possibly not the smartest thing to do if she thinks the two of you are exclusive. Blackmailing someone? Illegal. Moral gray areas are so much different than doing something illegal. I don't watch Letterman, and I never have. I still don't really care if he cheated on his girlfriend, no matter how long-term she may be. Sure, I may think a bit less of him, but that's nothing compared to how I feel about the guy who stole someone's diary to blackmail a third party.

Posted by: Phaeolus at October 6, 2009 9:54 AM

*disclaimer - don't know if someone said this above, because I didn't take the time to read all the comments*

Isn't it possible the "subordinates" were not actually victims of an abuser they couldn't control? Perhaps the women *wanted* to sleep with him, wanted the power that comes with having an intimate relationship with him or maybe they actually just kinda liked him?

Why is it the women seem to be portrayed as naive, hapless, helpless victims and Dave is the exploitive, lusty monster? It's true that men take advantage of women & the powerful roll over the weak, but couldn't it have been sunny on both sides of the street in this case for different reasons? Having worked in office jobs for 20 years (gawd - ick) I suggest that perhaps some of the women were maneuvering, taking advantage or, at the very least, didn't mind having relations with him.

Posted by: GinKirk at October 6, 2009 10:09 AM

I bet Wealthy Social dot COM is Letterman's new personal dating website since staffers and spouse are now off limits.

Posted by: BWeaves at October 6, 2009 10:12 AM

It's easy to tell in this post who has had experience with infidelity and who hasn't.

I remember what life was like before I was exposed to infidelity. I thought, "Those assholes need to be burned alive! Get the torches!" It was black and white to me. Clear-cut.

Then one of my friend's father cheated on his mother and everything changed. They didn't get divorced. They worked on their problems. He wasn't just some perverse, uncontrollable villain; their marriage had problems and he was seeking respite and compassion elsewhere.

I found out my favorite uncle had cheated on my aunt when I was younger. Again, he's not a cruel, evil man, devoid of compassion and utterly selfish. He's just a man.

Then I found out my boss cheated on his wife with a co-worker. Big problem, but not the end of the world (the woman continued working there and she and the wife became friends).

Over and over. Affairs. And never once were any parties wicked, cruel, mean, selfish or evil. All of them were people just like you or I, with flaws and weaknesses just like yours or mine.

Love and sex are complicated and messy things. They're great, don't get me wrong, but nothing about love, marriage or infidelity is black and white. Sometimes it isn't as simple as "being wrong" or "being the victim."

I patently refuse to accept that the relationships David Letterman had with his staffers was not consentual BECAUSE they were his staffers. That is the most unjustified, small-minded argument I've ever heard. In EVERY instance of infidelity I've EVER had experience with, both people were willing parties -- whether it was the wife's friend, some bartender, or an employee. In this nation, non-consentual sex is called "rape." That's an offensive stretch.

Dustin, I'm sorry that your hero betrayed your trust. I truely am. Your comparison with John Stewart hit me in the gut, and I empathize with you entirely. Please try to remember that while his actions are in-definsible, they aren't necessarily villainous or wrong.

And to the rest of you -- shame on your for judging and bless your for you patience.

Posted by: superasente at October 6, 2009 10:13 AM

I've given this a bit of thought too and I unfortunately have gotten harsher in my opinion on Dave as the news has trickled out.

In most cases, I agree that if the person does his or her job well, then no one should care about his personal foibles. However, so much of my impression of Dave's "job" relies on his personality - he's the audience's substitute pointing out and skewering hypocrisy from celebrities and politicians. He always represents the moral high ground - from dealing with Paris Hilton to dealing with Rod Blagoveich. How can he ever be good at that "job" again? His own personal actions have compromised his ability to do the best job he can do.

This is different than Clinton where his dalliance with Lewinsky had no bearing on whether or not he could still debate a nuclear disarmament treaty. Polanski is a rapist but Rosemary's Baby still rocked. Chris Albrecht, former head of HBO, might have punched his girlfriend but damn, he brought us Sopranos, The Wire, and Deadwood.

Letterman's job is his personality and that is sullied now by his actions. I will now look at his show not by the jokes he makes but the jokes he now can't or shouldn't.

Posted by: groovekiller at October 6, 2009 10:14 AM

As a woman who has worked for some real sleaze bags and some really great guys (and women), I have to add my tuppenceworth here.

Cue Sandy Vagina music:

I find it just a little bit offensive whenever something like this happens when the consent argument is brought up. There is a huge difference between being a subordinate who is told by her boss "have sex with me or you are fired" and a woman/man who knowingly enters into a sexual relationship with her/his boss without any threat.
Since these cases are overwhelmingly about female subordinates, I feel there is a patronizing element here that puts the little woman firmly back in the 18th/early 19th century when women were not considered capable enough of reasonable thought to even vote.
Look, I've never been in a torrid office affair, but I've been tempted, I had a hot boss who was clearly interested (back in the days before I was a wrinkled old hag) and our job threw us together in multiple cities at all hours of the day and night. If I had decided to cross that line, I would have done so willingly and fully congnisant of all the potential pitfalls.
Give us some credit here for being grown-ups with brains, please.

And I also must comment that yes, we'd be all over Glenn Beck if he did something like this, but his whole platform is "family values" and "America's values". Dave is irreverent and openly makes sexual jokes and doesn't set himself up as the judge of our behaviour.

Sandy Vagina music fades out.

Posted by: PaddyDog at October 6, 2009 10:32 AM

Ok... come on. That whole "it's not real consent because they worked for him" is taking this shit too far. There are a few women who have spoken out about being/sleeping with him and not one has ever implicated the fact that they felt that their job was in jeopardy. In fact, they all speak of him glowingly, how much of a sweetheart he was to them, etc. So let's stop fucking pretending that these women didn't know what they were doing... they were getting laid, just like he was. Maybe the women enjoyed the rush of banging someone who they deemed powerful or important, because you know, that's never fucking happened before. I will not stand for women getting up on their damn "violation" high horse about this. People fuck, I do, you do... well some of you do, I can only imagine what some of you boner holders do with your time. Anyway, Letterman took advantage of his situation and his power, but i don't believe for a minute that he took advantage of these women. Stephanie Birkitt is 34 years old. I know she was younger when this started, but she wasn't 18 when she was doing this. She also didn't have issue with banging a high level producer at 48 hours. Maybe that's her getoff, good for fucking stephanie. get laid baby, like the REST of us. Ease off this crap.

Posted by: Todd at October 6, 2009 10:33 AM

The story no one has addressed (still) is whether this will cause any sponsors to pull out (no pun intended), and others not to consider buying into the show. If a major sponsor thinks being attached to Dave gives it an image problem now and yanks a mulrimillion-dollar deal, Dave is not the one who will be out of a job, in a very bad time to be out of work in the USA. It may very well be some of the women he screwed, though.

Dave's behavior didn't occur in a vacuum. Beyond the impact on his friends and family, he had the livelihoods of dozens or hundreds of employees to consider, and the brand and image of his company and his network and the people who pay him, and his sponsors. The women aren't the only ones who might get fucked in all this.
---
All the married folk here, let you who hasn't been tempted throw the first stone.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 5, 2009 10:47 PM
---
Oh, for sure, temptation is always around. I'm fortunate that I don't have women throwing themselves at me (I'd say "I'm a little old for that," but Dave is quite a bit older than I am). But it's also true I don't go out of my way to put myself in position where cheating becomes an option. It also helps that my wife is also my best friend, and just the thought of the misery I'd let myself in for if I broke this good woman's heart keeps me in line.

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at October 6, 2009 10:35 AM

As long as everyone was a consenting adult, I don't see what the problem is.

Do I think fucking your boss is cool? No. But absent any indication that there was some sort of coercion involved (and yes, the boss-employee relationship is inherently a more powerful person with a less-powerful person), I don't agree that there was no "consent." Please. Some women can't wait to fuck the boss. And still others have a boss they admire and an opportunity presents itself and they don't see a reason why not. Not a choice I'd make, but they're grownups.

In the late 20th and now 21st century, most women who screw their boss (in America) don't do it to keep a job.

RE the scandal part: If Letterman had made his career telling other people how to live their lives (like politicians and religious leaders do), I'd see where this would be considered monumental hypocrisy. But I'm not aware of any time when he told people not to get their swerve on outside of marriage. He's a talk show host. Not the president or some RNC mouthpiece famous worldwide for scorning homos and feminazis. Most of the people he's mocked were richly deserving of mockery.

Newsflash: people who work together often have sex with each other. I've never been in a workplace that didn't have employees shagging each other. Not everybody, but a significant percentage of them. Don't many (most?) people meet most of the people they know at work? I think it's generally a bad idea, it creates tensions and resentments that don't need to be there and often affects efficiency, but... people are weak. Until I hear that Letterman has done something actually criminal, not sure why anybody cares about this.

Implying that this is anything like the Polanski thing is straight-up idiocy.

Posted by: Slash at October 6, 2009 11:10 AM

RE TCFKAB: "The story no one has addressed (still) is whether this will cause any sponsors to pull out (no pun intended), and others not to consider buying into the show."


I'm still seeing Whoopi Goldberg in Apple TV spots. Even though I think her "rape-rape" comment was kind of appalling, I won't stop buying Apple products. Maybe it's not exactly the same thing, but I don't see too many advertisers pulling their spots from Letterman. As long as he gets decent ratings.

Posted by: Slash at October 6, 2009 11:19 AM

Slash, Yeah, ratings do usually trump all. I don't know that any sponsor will be affected by this, we'll probably never know if there was any kind of trickle-down effect, but I'm saying Dave used poor judgment in POSSIBLY imperiling the cash cow and with it the people who work ... um, under him (heh). That's the problem with this line of reasoning:

"As long as everyone was a consenting adult, I don't see what the problem is."

Beyond whatever morality anyone here believes in, there are practical issues involved with this kind of fucking around. To paraphrase: The right to swing your dick ends at someone else's wallet.

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at October 6, 2009 12:32 PM

I think Dave's situation is only inappropriate in that he was having sex at work. I assume most of us don't disclose all of our past sexual relationships to our current mates, especially if some of those relationships were questionable.

And sleeping with colleagues isn't the end of the world. You can argue that's it stupid, of course, but it happens. When you work long hours in a close-knit environment, you have few other outlets for dating. You know and can often be attracted to the brilliant, powerful people in your circle, which includes the office. My only problem is that Dave actually went so far as to have sex at work. That's where he crossed a line and where CBS needs to give him a reprimand. The rest is all just adults being consenting.

Posted by: hindulovegod at October 6, 2009 12:38 PM

"Normal morals" don't apply to the rich and famous. You need to read more Machiavelli.

To paraphrase: A moral man will go to ruin among so many who are NOT moral. Therefore, morality interferes w/the ability to hold your position.


You think this only applies to government?


Wake the fuck up people.

Posted by: Recondite at October 6, 2009 12:39 PM

Fine, yes, consenting adults, do what you will, blah blah blah, that doesn't change that there is something creepy about subordinate sex and there are people like ME (and I'm kind of assuming, Dustin) who get squigged out by people who cheat.

I just don't get it, personally. I just don't. If I found someone I wanted to sleep with more than my boyfriend, shit, I used to leave my boyfriend. And now I'm married and the whole idea is just foreign to my way of thinking. So I dislike the whole damn concept of it, and Dustin being disappointed makes sense to me. If I gave a shit about Letterman, I'd be too.

Posted by: lilianna28 at October 6, 2009 2:10 PM

Well, I guess where I am now is: this stuff happens, in every profession. It's his business, but I feel for his wife and for Stephanie Birkitt.

One thing though. If there were any suggestion that there was favouritism involved - that his paramours got promotions, raises, plum assignments - that would suck balls. I've worked in a team where that happened, and it's a fast route to low team morale, bitterness, and backbiting. That's not a pleasant working environment.

Posted by: Tarn at October 6, 2009 2:25 PM

The only one I feel bad for is Letterman's wife. Everyone else involved is an asshole. I love David Letterman, and always have, but he was a major sleaze in this case and Stephanie Birkitt isn't much better in my opinion. If I knew Letterman had a girlfriend then she did too.

Posted by: becks at October 6, 2009 2:45 PM

I'm with lilianna28 and I have to say I'm kind of annoyed with the 'we all do it, what's the big deal' attitude that most people seem to have. Cheating is wrong -- unless you have a previous arrangement with your partner, then you're just being a selfish asshole and thinking that morality is all relative is just an easy way for you to feel better about yourself. Anyway, I've always disliked Letterman and felt that he was a bit misogynist (I'm mostly referring to the 'helpers' who come out w/ bikinis and sparking suits before the things that float segment, etc), so I'm not really surprised.

Posted by: Alarmjaguar at October 6, 2009 2:47 PM

A fucky-sucky room for Dave to bang ladies and Paul to bang the guys. Claasssaaay. Looks like he'll have to go to whatever outcall service Governor Spitzerswallows is now using.

Posted by: OscarTamerz at October 6, 2009 2:52 PM

Slightly off topic, but since Slash brought it up: Did anyone actually watch the Whoopi Goldberg "rape-rape" footage?? It is quite clear that at that point, they were talking about the actual charges in the case at the time. Whoopi was NOT expressing her own ideas about the incident. She was trying to clarify the charges: The charge in the plea bargain was not "rape." Hence the "It wasn't rape-rape" statement. The charge was "unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor." Now, I think most of us would agree that "unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor" equates to rape, but the word "rape" was not used. And literally two seconds after the "rape-rape" comment, Whoopi says "When we get all the information, somebody will tell me in my ear." (referring to her earpiece.) She obviously wants to get the facts straight before everyone goes off half-cocked.

Please note that I am neither defending nor condoning any of Polanski's actions. Neither am I a particular fan of Whoopi Goldberg. I'm just tired of hearing someone--in this case, Whoopi--get bashed for an opinion she didn't actually express.

Posted by: ariadne at October 6, 2009 3:21 PM

RE ariadne and Whoopi "rape-rape" comment: Eh, duly noted.

I still think making the distinction between different kinds of rape in this context was unnecessary and kinda speaks volumes. The charge wasn't "statutory rape" because that isn't what California calls it. I guess they don't want to stigmatize the kid fuckers by officially labeling them rapists.

Also, the charge was only "unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor" because everyone wanted to avoid a trial. If it had gone to trial, I suspect the charge would have been good, old-fashioned rape. He pled to a lesser charge. That doesn't make him not a rapist (to me). If Whoopi and the other gaping pieholes on The View are going to discuss a topic, shouldn't they make sure they know what they're talking about BEFORE they broadcast it to millions of people? These people work on TV for a living, you'd think they'd be more careful about making public statements.

Saying something to the effect that it wasn't "rape-rape" made her sound like a dummy. Or somebody who likes rape.

Posted by: Slash at October 6, 2009 6:16 PM

Why in God's name are all you people giving Letterman props for "coming clean" and "owning up to everything" and being "honest" about it?

He was forced to! The truth was about to come out, and like it or not Letterman had to beat them to the punch or he would have looked a lot worse.
It's self defense, not honesty. Let's call it what it is...

Ain't nothing noble about being confessing in order to undercut an immediately impending scandal. I didn't see Letterman coming clean about anything until he was extorted to do so.


Posted by: Bluesilver at October 6, 2009 6:52 PM

First, TCFKABD:

"The story no one has addressed (still) is whether this will cause any sponsors to pull out (no pun intended), and others not to consider buying into the show."

This as an argument against Letterman cheating? The economic considerations of TLS' employees should advertisers pull out?

Bwahahahahaha. Get out a bit more, dude, that is the weakest and longest bow yet. The internets are frying your noodle.

Second, to Slash: regarding Polanski / Goldberg / "Rape rape".

You were not privy to the negotiations that determined the recommended plea bargain, so you are unaware why the charge was reduced to "unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor" (i.e. strength of prosecution's case / inconsistent witnesses, etc). Nor was the judge going to change the charges to rape (I believe it was a sentence increase that caused Polanski to skedaddle).

It is apparent to anyone with eyes and ears that Whoopi was attempting to distinguish between the two charges, only she is dumber than dogshit, couldn't describe a blue square and has no sensitivity to ... pretty much anything.

US media has given the world comment before facts since as long as I have been alive, and I think you are being somewhat disingenuous complaining about journalistic integrity now, about this comment. It's The View for fuck's sake.

Further, the "someone who likes rape comment" was an unnecessary and deliberately inflammatory comment that would be difficult to defend from your POV without resorting to 'Peter G is a nazi'.

Just sayin'.

Disclaimer: I believe polanski should see prison time, but I am concerned about what good will come out of the fucked-up, media-hyped process we are all about to witness in order to make it a reality.

Posted by: Peter G at October 6, 2009 8:18 PM

I am so SICK of people saying it is O.K. because he was not married when it happened! Dave was in a real relationship with Regina since 1986 and also had a child in 2003...just because they were not married does NOT mean he should have the right to Cheat on her with all these bimbos! Married or Not..Regina was in what she thought was a committed relationship with the PIG! How would he like it if he found out Regina had been sexual with many men! I hope she leaves the Pig!

Posted by: linda at October 7, 2009 2:24 AM

RE Peter G: "Nor was the judge going to change the charges to rape (I believe it was a sentence increase that caused Polanski to skedaddle)."

I'm sure no one's still reading, but just for the record, you're wrong. As are many people yapping about the Polanski thing.

RE "Further, the 'someone who likes rape comment' was an unnecessary and deliberately inflammatory comment that would be difficult to defend from your POV"

It was a joke. It's a movie reference, even. This is a movie site, after all.

RE "I am concerned about what good will come out of the fucked-up, media-hyped process we are all about to witness in order to make it a reality."

As people have mentioned before, the only reason there's media hype now is because of Polanski. It's his fault this shit is coming up again. No one to blame but him.

Posted by: Slash at October 7, 2009 11:35 AM

I see your point, Slash: If they knew they were going to be discussing the subject, they should have done their reseach before they went on the air. But maybe they do that kind of thing on purpose--to stir up more controversy, i.e. ratings? (I've only seen occasional online clips of The View, but from others' descriptions, it sounds like the kind of show that would do that sort of thing.) And yes, Whoopi certainly could have expressed herself in a more intelligent-sounding way.

Posted by: ariadne at October 7, 2009 8:22 PM


















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