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Dark Tower Adaptation May be on Hold

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (8)

the_gunslinger.jpg

It’s a movie! It’s a television series! It’s three movies and a television series! JJ Abrams is making it! He and Damon Lindelof bought the rights for $19! Cancel that, now Ron Howard is making it! Viggo Mortensen to star! No, Javier Bardem! And now Universal is reportedly balking at the price tag, shocked I tell you shocked, that three movies and several seasons of television actually cost money. Production hasn’t even started yet, so I suppose now is the time it makes most sense to bail on the project, yet it’s not like there should have been any real change in cost estimates over the last few months to change their minds.

Javier Bardem has been inching ever closer to signing with the project, proving yet again why they don’t call him Xeno on the streets for nothing. But Variety has heard rumors from sources that it’s totally going to be canned now. Of course, they can’t name the sources, and the network had no comment. Yay for journalism! This totally reminds me of how Woodward and Bernstein wrote that one article that said that sources told them the President was corrupt, the White House had no comment, and then they went and wrote about baseball or something instead.

You might make the perfectly fair point that I’m doing even less than they are and am thus a pot calling a kettle black, which never made sense to me as a child since all of our pots were silver and the kettle was bright blue. But on the contrary, I am in fact submitting this story from my iPhone while rummaging through Ron Howard’s dumpster. There are a statistically improbable number of eviscerated cats in here, but I haven’t yet found evidence of his activities on the Dark Tower project.

Whatever, at this point I’ll just be relieved when they do anything. My mood has swung on this project so many times it could have solved the world’s energy problems if I’d only remembered to hook up a fly wheel to it.

(source: Variety)









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Comments

/unladylike giggle

Posted by: Me at May 9, 2011 9:31 AM

Warners is supposedly going to buy it. They should then put it on HBO paired with Game of Thrones resulting in an unparalleled Sunday evening of joy and carnage. No Ron Howard is a good thing. I was not digging this part movie part TV show thing at all.

Posted by: TylerDFC at May 9, 2011 10:03 AM

Dark Tower, I never heard of it. It sucks not being a nerd and shit because sometimes you miss out on some dope ass shit. But my problem is that I’m on some other shit that frequently takes me away from nerdatropolis.

Posted by: Pookie at May 9, 2011 10:42 AM

Have you ever loved something so much, that you didn't want anyone to even chance a mangling of it?

I know that's probably an all too often refrain that echoes through the halls of geeky fandom, but I heart the Dark Tower so hard that I reached two serious milestones:

--I was really worried that Stephen King was going to die before he finished it.

--Uh, I'm afraid Stephen King is going to live long enough to shit all over this.

Still, I can live with what King ultimately did to the series. I've even talked myself into accepting the meta meta meta shit and the ending and all that.

I just literally, honestly am unable to imagine ANYONE inhabiting these characters. They are fixed in my brainium in an unmutable way that few works of literature are (that's right...I called it LITERATURE).

I know the answer is, "Then just don't watch it." And I know that maybe, just maybe, something beautiful could come of all of this.

But the whole idea just makes me fretful.

And thus ends my Monday morning neuroses group share.

Posted by: Hawkeye Fierce at May 9, 2011 11:51 AM

There are a statistically improbable number of eviscerated cats in here...

[sniff -- sniiiiiffff]
OH YEAH, THAT'S THE STUFF!

Posted by: superasente at May 9, 2011 12:29 PM

When I heard that Howard got the rights, I immediately began reading the series, a project that I had put off for years. Now I'm on Book Seven and I'm less and less sure of the wisdom of turning it into a media machine.

If they do it, they just need to stick to HBO. The blending idea is stupid and the fan base isn't big enough to justify seven films, a la Harry Potter.

Posted by: Kala at May 9, 2011 1:16 PM

TylerDFC >> An HBO Game Of Thrones / Dark Tower doubleheader on Sunday nights would pretty much be my television end-all, be-all.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at May 9, 2011 3:50 PM

well, the dark tower may be many things but literature it is not. there. i said it.

as for a game of thrones/dark tower hbo sunday double feature picture show....you know the rest.

Posted by: splinter at May 9, 2011 5:52 PM