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Our House is a Very Very Very Fine House

Yeah. I'm Quoting Graham Nash. Eat It. / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | June 24, 2009 | Comments (18)

Daniel Craig, who is trying to be picky about his next non-Bond project, on account of the fact that all of his non-Bond movies since he signed on as the character have been mediocre (The Golden Compass, The Invasion, Defiance). At least he’s hitched himself to the right director.

Craig is in talks to star in a psychological thriller from Jim Sheridan. The good news there is that Sheridan is one of the best in the business (My Left Foot, In the Name of the Father, In America), although I’m still a little perplexed as to why he chose to direct 50 Cents’ Get Rich or Die Tryin’ in 2005. The not so good news is that the film sounds as generic as Daniel Craig’s other non-Bond roles. Dream House is about a man (Craig) who moves his family to the perfect house in a small idyllic town only to realize that the house is … haunted … by the former occupants … who were … murdered there?

Oh, awesome: A multiple Academy Award nominated writer/director has decided to remake Amityville? (See above, sporting the Amityville beard). The script comes from David Loucka, who has absolutely nothing of note on his resume. In fact, he hasn’t had a script produced since 2002’s Gina Gershon film, Borderline. All of which is to say: The fuck, Sheridan? The other guy must have had an awesome poker hand.

Not to despair: Sheridan has already completed The Brothers, with Jake Gyllenhaal, Natalie Portman, and Emo Spidey, which is sure to be a decent movie, as it comes from screenwriter David Benioff, who wrote X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Oh. wait.

Hell: Maybe there’s something to this “psychological thriller” that can’t be gleaned from the overly simplistic logline — maybe the house is on a farm and the murdered inhabitants come back as sheep zombies and talking pig vampires.


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Comments

"Well: Maybe there’s something to this “psychological thriller” that can’t be gleaned from the overly simplistic logline — maybe the house is on a farm and the murdered inhabitants come back as sheep zombies and talking pig vampires."

And maybe flying monkeys will come shooting out my ass.

Posted by: UncleJR at June 24, 2009 10:53 AM

"Dream House is about a man (Craig) who moves his family to the perfect house in a small idyllic town only to realize that the house is … haunted … by the former occupants … who were … murdered there?"

That's not remaking Armityville. That's just a whole genre of movies (most of them crap). Here's an idea for the site. A top 10 of best haunted house movies. The worst bit about these kind of movies is the lack of logic in the simplest solution... leave the motherfucing house!

Posted by: barf at June 24, 2009 10:53 AM

"all of his non-Bond movies since he signed on as the character have been mediocre"

Layer Cake. Just saying, you know.

Posted by: Skewicide Blonde at June 24, 2009 10:54 AM

"Not only do they stay in the motherfucking house, they invited more white people over"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CE4QGwpcHfE

Posted by: Jay at June 24, 2009 10:57 AM

And maybe flying monkeys will come shooting out my ass.

We could film that.

Posted by: twig at June 24, 2009 10:59 AM

Since we're on a cougar theme today:

"The Mother" Daniel Craig screwing his girlfriend's 70 year old mother. Yeah, there are sex scenes. I haven't had sex since.

Posted by: BWeaves at June 24, 2009 10:59 AM

Layer Cake was before he signed on as Bond, Skewicide Blonde, making Dustin's statement true.

Posted by: Snath at June 24, 2009 11:00 AM

Damn you to a thousand hours with Miley Cyrus on repeat for putting that song into my head.

Posted by: Captain Steve at June 24, 2009 11:02 AM

Oh, fine. Read the whole sentence, why dontcha.

Stupid me skimming.

Posted by: Skewicide Blonde at June 24, 2009 11:03 AM

Jay, Eddie Murphy on stage is not funny. Why did you post that link? He just thinks that saying dick, shit and fuck is the epitome of joke-telling. Couldn't watch more than two minutes.

*yawn*

Posted by: barf at June 24, 2009 11:06 AM

It took me about 5 minutes to realize that Emo Spidey isn't the name of some stupid actor I've never heard of before.

Posted by: annoyingmouse at June 24, 2009 11:07 AM

I don't even have to say it.

Posted by: Jay at June 24, 2009 11:14 AM

What about Flashbacks of a Fool?

Posted by: LouLou.B at June 24, 2009 11:23 AM

1. "The Haunting (of Hill House)"

We're finished here.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 24, 2009 1:44 PM

Sheridan's gotta eat, dude.

Posted by: figgy at June 24, 2009 2:17 PM

maybe the house is on a farm and the murdered inhabitants come back as sheep zombies and talking pig vampires.

Like Babe 3: The Hunger?

Posted by: Melissa at June 24, 2009 2:17 PM

And maybe flying monkeys will come shooting out my ass.

Aaaandd now I'm visualising that scene from Bruce Almighty - "it looks like today's your lucky day!"

Posted by: lordhelmet at June 24, 2009 3:07 PM

Although it was released after, The Invasion was filmed before Craig filmed Casino Royale. He got the news while he was shooting The Invasion.

/pedant pedant pedant

Posted by: Sarah at June 24, 2009 7:12 PM





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