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Danica McKellar Divorces Her Husband After Realizing She Can Do A Lot Better than That Guy

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | June 7, 2012 | Comments ()


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According to TMZ, former "Wonder Years" star turned mathlete turned OMG LOOK AT HER, Danica McKellar, has filed for divorce from her husband, Mike Verta. The couple has been married since 2009. They have a one-year old son together. The official reason for the divorce is "irreconcilable differences," but when asked for comment, the former Winnie Cooper revealed the real reason for the divorce.

"I woke up one morning and looked in the mirror," she said. "And I realized that I was Danica McKellar. Then I looked over at my husband, and it just hit me. Have you seen my husband?" she asked. "That guy should not be married to Danica McKellar. It gives false hope to all the dweebs and toolbags in America. I was Winnie Cooper, bitch. I divorced him to restore balance to the Universe. I did it for the good of the planet."

Now, because I can't resist, here's two images of Danica McKellar so unbelievably hot you'll want to punch your mother. Isn't it gratifying to know that your first childhood crush turned out so well, divorce notwithstanding?

Happy Thursday. Maybe Courtney will stop by later with some similarly-provocative images of Rider Strong for the ladies.





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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • bastich

    I'm just hoping that my English Lit learnins will catch her attention in an "opposites attract" sort of way....

  • comma

    Fuck. I could algebra and plain geometry like a motherfucker but I only got a C in trig and analyt.

    Guess that takes me out of the running ...

    What? Oh, like the rest of YOU lot belong to MENSA.

  • comma

    The thigh-highs get me every time.

    Hummna-hummna.

  • odubya23

    This really isn't funny.

  • Leaf

    He seems like a perfectly normal looking guy to me, and quite frankly, she's not THAT great anyway and never was.  Above average.

  • She's smart,she's an awesome person,and she's smokin hot. He must have done something wack to lose her. The kid will be affected by this divorce, believe me.

  • Caspar

    I'd like a slice of her Pi! Eh? Amirite guys?! The Wonder Years? The WonderBRA Years more like? Right? Who's with me?! High five!

  • emmelemm

    Dustin, will you never learn?

    Granted, it's more amusing for us if you don't, but still...

  • e jerry powell

    Okay, fair enough, Rowles, but what has she done for us lately that doesn't involve inducing boners?

    And really, her husband isn't all that bad, but it is true that he probably shouldn't be aiming so much higher on the sexual food chain.

  • Hiro_the_Eighth_Samurai

    I'd like to donate some sperm to Winnie Cooper... personally delivered! ;)

  • Matchetes

    Ah jeez Dustin. I get that this was a joke, but it was a lame joke the last time you tried it and it's still lame today. Gossip blogs have already gone so far beyond good taste that this type of stuff just isn't funny.

  • bastich

    Woo-hoo!  I have a chance!

    (**slicks back hair, straightens tie, pulls out old pre-algebra textbook**)

  • WestCoastPat

    Dammit, Trudy, what about the pineapple?!?

  • ' “I woke up one morning and looked in the mirror,” she said. “And I
    realized that I was Danica McKellar. Then I looked over at my husband,
    and it just hit me. Have you seen my husband?” she asked. “That guy should not
    be married to Danica McKellar. It gives false hope to all the dweebs
    and toolbags in America. I was Winnie Cooper, bitch. I divorced him to
    restore balance to the Universe. I did it for the good of the planet.”  '

    I hope that is satire, because...well, I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that, but... WHOSE eyes is she wearing?

  • Ballymena Bob

    I've said this before and I'll keep saying it until you fuckers listen to me - the unofficial but still recognised method of showing irony, or sarcasm, is to end your sentence with an exclamation mark enclosed in parentheses. Like this, you ignorant ballbags(!)

    It also works for rhetorical questions - Aw fuckit, why do I even bother(?)

  • pissant

    I've said this before and I'll keep saying it until you fuckers listen to me - the unofficial but still recognised method of showing irony, or sarcasm, is to end your sentence with an exclamation mark enclosed in parentheses.

    Are you serious?  I put an exclamation point in parentheses at least a handful of times each year.  I think I picked it up from On The Road.

  • PaddyDog

    Keep fighting the good fight, BB, but don't hold out hope for any progress.  Outrage Seekers are the flesh and blood of the blog industry.  Without them, Arianna Huffington would be just another broke Greek woman.

  • competitivenonfiction

    What could you possibly have against outrage seekers?! Seriously what is wrong with you?!?! Some of us have deep seeded childhood issues, and no-one to take them out on except people on the internet. Maybe you should show some sensitivity to people who can't react properly or proportionately by no fault of their own. Gawd. Some people!

  • Danica and I have sort of a twitter relationship in that I once answered one of her palindrome clues correctly and this other time I tagged her in a palindrome related joke and she smiled at me. So I honestly can't help but feel somewhat responsible here. Damn this charm. Damn it to hell.

  • Ken Barnes

    I laughed.

    You guys do know this is Pajiba, not Jezebel, right?

  • Stacey

    As someone who has  both met Winnie Cooper and had my outfit complimented by her, I think it's safe to say I'm the leading authority on Winnie Cooper here, and this news is definitely sad. She's a really nice person and seems to have a good head on her shoulders. For shame, Dustin!

  • lowercase_ryan


    It gives false hope to all the dweebs and toolbags in America.

    False hope is still hope honey, and DR just gave it to me in spades. Now if you'll excuse me I'll be in my bunk, with my hope.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Does calling it that make the Leia scenes in Star Wars hotter?

  • lowercase_ryan

    I never got turned on by the Leia scenes. No matter how how I pictured it, it always boiled down to getting it on with her in front of her brother or in front of my fat slob roommate in college that I suspected always wanted to watch. Either way, no dice.

    That being said, the costume has merit. Just not in the context of the movies. No, I've never thought about this before. Why do you ask?

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    I suppose my first question would be why you're prone to imagining it as public sex.

    I was just going for the cheap "you're my only hope" pun and got more than I bargained for.

  • lowercase_ryan

    Eh what can I say, Freud may have been on to something. 

    And as is usually the case, someone asks for an inch and I give a mile. Which is not an innuendo, just a concession that I talk/type too much.

  • L.O.V.E.

    "...but when asked for comment, the former Winnie Cooper revealed the real reason for the divorce..."

    You mean, she didn't have Daniel Stern narrate the reason for her? You can't tell me he has enough work to turn that gig down.

  • MurderBot

    And hey, if she had enough class to dump the guy BEFORE trading up, ya know rather than being caught cheating and THEN dumping him, he's gotta respect that!

  • pissant

    I, for one, support Dustin's decision to make light of a divorce involving a young child while also making fun of the physical appearance of an average looking dude who I'm not sure has ever publicly done anything reprehensible.  I hope the ad dollars are worth turning your site into a high-class TMZ.

  • Erockk92

    A lot of people on this site to lighten the hell up.  You must be really fun at parties.

  • Bert

    Yeah, but you gotta admit he looks like Adam Arkin had a baby with David Schwimmer and a potato.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    I would really like to calculate her hypotenuse.

  • comma

     You need a better angle than that.

  • Romeo Cranberry

    i'm not quite sure why we are celebrating such an awful reason to divorce someone...that is the most shallow and narcissistic justification i have ever heard for getting a divorce.  if a man divorced his wife for the reasons she gave we would (rightly) condemn him as a pig.

    and if her reasoning isn't bad enough, she humiliates the guy by going public with it.  i find this deeply disturbing and i'm not sure why you don't.

  • Not Just a Guest

    Those aren't actually her comments. Those are Dustin's attempt at being quippy.

    I understand the intention was to provide eye-candy, but would you (Dustin) post the same thing if an attractive actor divorced a non-famous woman and then basically imply that she's ugly and ordinary and the cause for a divorce that involves a very young child, even if it was meant in jest?

    Really disappointing and low class, Dustin.

  • Bert

    Have you met Dustin?

    Or is this some meta-sarcasm loop I've been caught in?

  • pajiba

    Romeo: You understand that that's not an actual quote, right? That I made it all up because it's a slow-news day and I felt like screwing around? There was no ACTUAL humiliation involved, just my apparent poor stab at humor. 

  • Romeo Cranberry

    oh thank god it's just a joke...i was deeply disturbed by the tone of this post.

    it's funny, i always laugh at the asshole commenters on this site who take your jokes seriously and get offended...looks like this time i'm the asshole.  it's not the first time, certainly won't be the last.

  • Romeo Cranberry

    and just for the record...my misunderstanding of this post will in no way effect my future mocking of asshole commenters.

    when i was a young child i made the commitment to never reflect upon my actions in such a way that would cause me to empathize with others or grow as an individual.

    so far so good.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I did it! You're my first like, Romeo. 

    EVER.

  • BierceAmbrose

    Romeo Cranberry, you are officially my hero for this: "when i was a young child i made the commitment to never reflect upon my
    actions in such a way that would cause me to empathize with others or
    grow as an individual."

    It reminds me of that Paul Simon song (everybody!):

    Still shallow after all these years,
    Iiiiiiii'mim, still shallow after all these years.:

  • L.O.V.E.

    "The couple has been married since 2009. They have a one-year old son together."

    The New York Post wants you arrested for child exploitation.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    Why did you have to go and ruin the fun? I was enjoying all the rabble-rabbling and now I'll have to find another way to entertain myself. Perhaps by pasting your profile picture onto Miss Mckellar's body. Yeah, that's the stuff. Talk dirty math to me Dustin McKellar. Use the chalk board. Use it! Now run your finger nails down it like you were trying to divide by zero...

  • BWeaves

     Hi Dustin:  It wasn't obvious that you made up her quote.  We really do need a sarcasm font.  I can't believe that hasn't been invented yet.

  • LaineyBobainey

     For the life of me, I can't figure out how it wasn't obvious that Dustin made up her quote.  Like, I'm seriously sitting here wondering how anyone who believed this was real manages to operate a computer.

  • superasente

     Oof, that's the rough stuff.

  • pissant

    Hi Dustin:  It wasn't obvious that you made up her quote.  We really do need a sarcasm font.  I can't believe that hasn't been invented yet.

    http://02d9656.netsoljsp.com/S...
    Well, these douchebags used to attempt to sell a sarcasm mark.  There is both a font and graphical version.  I don't understand exactly what they were going for, because I'm pretty sure people that didn't have the sarcmark font wouldn't be able to see your sarcasm mark.  They fucking copyrighted it...

  • XVI

     I feel like some of the satire might have been lost on you...

  • Groundloop

    Now if Christina Hendricks would get with the program, that would restore some balance.

  • lowercase_ryan

    Piss off, he was the bomb in Super-Troopers yo!

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