We announced just last week that the Wayans Bros. were putting together the next spoof movie, this one entitled, Dance Flick. And wouldn’t you know — there’s already a trailer. And from the looks of it, I wouldn’t doubt they filmed and edited the entire movie and cut the trailer over the last five days.
If you ever wanted to know what eye chlamydia felt like, just press play on the trailer, although I would seriously consider wearing a condom over your face:
Wow, Wayans. To parody a decade old, modestly successful genre picture that most people only caught on basic cable repeats - How DOES it feel out there on the cutting edge of comedy?
Watching that made my crotch itch. Congrats on creating a new strain of internet-based herpes, Wayans. Looks like you've won...
...for now.
[...lights dim, fog machine kicks in - close-up of key with the initials "MT" carved into it turns in ignition. GPS screen pops up on windshield display and "Wayans Brothers" is keyed in. Headlights cut through the fog and over the sound of the screaming engine music blares...]
Nibblin' on bacon
Chewin' on cheese
Sam says to Suzie
Honey, would you please be my Mrs
Suzie says, yes, with her kisses
Now, he's ticklin' her fancy
Rubbin' her toes
Muzzle to muzzle
Now anything goes as they wriggle
Sue starts to giggle
And they whirled and they twirled and they tango
Singin' and jinglin' a jangle
Floatin' like the heavens above
Looks like muskrat love.
Fuck yes.
Posted by: Skitz at November 17, 2008 4:18 PM
If you look closely at the Dance Flick trailer around the 1:38 mark, you'll find the exact frame that sent black pride back 300 years and will give any KKK member who watches an orgasm.
I want the Wayans brothers to be strapped to a Clockwork Orange chair, and forced to watch their films until their eyes are permanently stained with this film diahreeah!
Posted by: George at November 17, 2008 4:30 PM
Oh sweet zombie jeebus, is that Amy Sedaris? AMY NOOOOOOOO! Why do you do this to yourself? *Uncontrollable sobbing*
Posted by: Jeremy Feist at November 17, 2008 4:35 PM
*Looks to Skittimus, Nods with Approval*
Posted by: Phil at November 17, 2008 4:38 PM
I'm not watching it, but tell me, does everybody look like they're having a seizure? Because that would be every "dance" movie made in the last 25 years.
Muskrat Love, indeed.
Posted by: Slash at November 17, 2008 4:46 PM
Gah. Eye smegma.
Posted by: bucdaddy at November 17, 2008 4:50 PM
I got 5:18 here and I wanna know WHERE THE HELL'S THE MUSIC? What are we, on Arkansas time?
*holds Bic lighter aloft*
Posted by: bucdaddy at November 17, 2008 5:17 PM
I didn't even need to see the trailer to know that this movie will be like biting down on a razor blade, then rinsing your mouth out with drain cleaner.
Posted by: The Wanderer at November 17, 2008 5:17 PM
It Buuuuurrrrrrrrnnnnnnnns! It Buuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnns!
Posted by: admin at November 17, 2008 5:33 PM
I was mildly surprised by this mostly because other than the baby shooting out of the cooter at the beginning, there wasn't any gross-out humor or cow-falls-on-human humor. And there were actually two things that made me chuckle. Not laugh. But chuckle.
It looks like a movie I'd watch only if it was free and I was high. And I don't smoke weed. Take from that what you will.
Posted by: NotBlonde at November 17, 2008 6:10 PM
The dude in the trailor is definitely of the Wayans brood. looks just like a younger Damon Wayans...before he left In Living Color. And sold his soul... For Mo' Money.
Posted by: Joe the Plumber at November 17, 2008 6:36 PM
I think Chlamydia is too light a verdict for this genital wart of a movie. The Wayan brothers deserve to die a horribly painful disease-ridden death, of that I am not just sure, I'm HIV positive!
Worst of all it was fucking boring. . .I almost fell asleep.
Posted by: Alli at November 17, 2008 7:19 PM
Miley Cyrus is alive, Stephanie Myers of Twilight fame is a millionare, and the Wayans, also millionares, are passing around Hepatitis K through 29 via the newest of outdated, overplayed evils: black man-colossal penis jokes. I just ADORE Mondays.
Posted by: J_Capri at November 17, 2008 7:23 PM
That trailer ranked two laughs and at least one other giggle. Either I'm getting dumber or these trailers are getting better at selectively picking the least awful moments out of these films.
Posted by: Shay at November 17, 2008 7:33 PM
Dustin, chlamydial conjunctivitis is a common condition. Many of us have already felt the relatively minor effects of chlamydial conjunctivitis without even knowing it.
It typically affects sexually active teens and young adults and is easily treated and cured.
I would submit, then, that a better comparison would be eye herpes. Because what I just saw cannot be unseen. No amount of Visene or battery acid can remove the corneal scarring. It may lay dormant, until the next Wayan's flick comes out, but then it will ravage my vision yet again.
You just gave us all the eye herp. I didn't even get an orgasm out of it. Or a ride home.
Damn you.
Posted by: JP at November 17, 2008 7:52 PM
it's sad when you can say, "I could write a movie better than that," and every single person on this board would be correct.
Posted by: adam at November 17, 2008 7:56 PM
'you just mispronounced that word' or what ever that line was got a chuckle
otherwise...*sigh* back into the bleach bath it is
*tsssssssssssssss* aiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeooooooohi feel clean again
Posted by: nadine at November 17, 2008 8:54 PM
I laughed three times, and felt a little dirty at the end. This seems like something I might check out on Comedy Central in 2 years.
But it will never be given money in any form by me. Spoof movies are like wild animals, if you feed them, they'll return in greater numbers.
Posted by: TheKarpuk at November 17, 2008 9:28 PM
I laughed at "Einsemble", but then I felt bad about it. At least there weren't any people getting hit in the balls.
Posted by: James at November 18, 2008 12:37 AM
I can't tell if I laughed because it was really funny, or because I've been subjected Disaster Movie and hence my bar has been pushed below sea level.
Don't feel bad James. I laughed at "Einsemble" too.
Posted by: MikeTheG at November 18, 2008 3:12 AM
"Einsemble" is funny...*hiding in back in my corner*
Posted by: NotBlonde at November 18, 2008 4:08 AM
Eye chylmadia eh? I sure hope there's some sort of vaccination for it, maybe some cinematic cure?
Posted by: ph at November 18, 2008 2:49 PM
No thank you.
Posted by: Lucas at November 18, 2008 7:12 PM
Yup, now it burns when I pee. I never was able to listen to good advice.
The goggles! They do nothing!