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I’ve Been Straight for 17 Days! Just Not in a Row

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (68)



samkinisondanfogler.jpg

Who says we don’t appeal to the older readers? Hey: Granpops. Remember Sam Kinison? You do? What, that must make you at least 30, which is the new 20 in the real world, but in the Internet world? You may as well be the parent of one of those goddamn “American Idol” contestants, you old geriatric bag of shit. If you remember Sam Kinison, that makes you old enough to remember the clapper. You probably watched Rainbow Brite when you were a kid. Hell, you probably remember a time before Etch-a-Sketch’s rendered perfect 3D holograms. What? You’re 35? Pushing 40? Jesus Christ, I can’t believe they even let you on the Internet. And stop calling it Twattering, old man. It’s called a Tweet. And that’s a very advanced, sophisticated means of communication, dumbass. Get with the emoticon program. And don’t you know, Twitter brought back LOL full steam. How else can you express your immense joy at the # signed 140 character sermon about what @ddpendant had for fucking lunch. Owwwwww! OWWWWWW!

Anyway, several months ago, we brought you the news that Dan Fogler would be starring in a Sam Kinison (R.I.H.) biopic. I was disgusted with the choice, if only because Fogler is only above Katherine Heigl and Dane Cook on my “I’ve Got One Day Left to Leave Shooting Spree” list. Fogler was the enormous cumstain in Balls of Fury and Good Luck Chuck, and no matter how many times I heard he was great on Broadway, I refused to believe. Until now.

Film School Rejects discovered the tape for Fogler’s audition for the Sam Kinison biopic. And though it pains me immensely to say it: Dude nails it. It’s vintage Kinison, too. And totally worth the four minutes of your life it’ll take to watch it. It’s just a goddamn shame that Tom Shadyac (Patch Adams, Bruce Almighty) is directing. And it doesn’t change my opinion that Fogler has no business playing Hitchcock, as he is in The Number 13, due out in 2011.










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Comments

Dustin, so nice to have a post directed at my generation. It's true that I'm lucky they let me on the internets--I had to get here using a special tube for old folks.

Posted by: tamatha at April 2, 2009 10:00 AM

OK, fine, Sam Kinison blew goats for quarters, but don't you DARE insult Rainbow Mother-effing Brite! Back the hell off!

Posted by: Patty O'Green at April 2, 2009 10:01 AM

Wow, that was really pretty impressive. I may now have to have a grudging respect Fogler. Or maybe we just saw the four-minute pinnacle of his career. Judgement has been reserved.

Posted by: admin at April 2, 2009 10:02 AM

Didn’t Vader say something about these new technological terrors that we're constructing? I've yet to twitter, and I'm not dying to. I still write letters to my old man.

Posted by: Pookie at April 2, 2009 10:04 AM

OK, fine, Sam Kinison blew goats for quarters

Is she right?

Posted by: Jay at April 2, 2009 10:05 AM

A.s I a.m t.h.i.r.t.y.s.e.v.e.n I h.a.v.e n.o.t. s.e.e.n t.h.e.s.e m.o.v.i.e.s n.o.r c.a.n. I type vry good.

C.e.e.p up The g.o.o.d Wo.r.k.

OMG W.h.e.r.e d.o. a.l.l t.h.e.s.e dot.s comef rom?

Posted by: Magiel at April 2, 2009 10:06 AM

That was uncanny.

And I guess I'm like the living dead.

Posted by: Cindy at April 2, 2009 10:08 AM

And yes, I watched Rodney Dangerfield's Young Comedians Special featuring Sam, Bob Nelson and Bob Saget, among others...as it originally aired! Boy howdy, I'm decrepit.

Posted by: Jay at April 2, 2009 10:09 AM

I'm sick of YOU and your anti-Fogler agenda, Rowles. Balls of Fury is a classic.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 2, 2009 10:12 AM

Wait, The Clapper isn't around anymore? Balls.

I have no prior knowledge of Fogler. I've not seen anything he's been in, so I don't have an opinion on him. I'll watch the video (is it still called video?) when I get home, so I can wear my bifocals...

Posted by: Lainey at April 2, 2009 10:12 AM

Hey! I will be 28 this year and I remember Sam Kinison. To be fair, I probably watched a lot of tv that I never should have watched.

Fogler has the look down. That's impressive. My stupid sound is not working, so I can't judge the voice. The mannerisms appear spot on though.

Posted by: Melody at April 2, 2009 10:13 AM

Tweet? Twat? What? You kids, get off my lawn! Apparently 38 is the new 75. Sam Kinison was on constant rotation in college. Along with Carlin and at the time, Andrew Dice Clay. Or course Dice is still alive...great.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at April 2, 2009 10:14 AM

Oh my fucking christ I DID see him on Broadway. I had no idea he was in Putnam County Spelling Bee. He was Hilarious and a good dancer and singer and everything and oh my god I had no idea that douchebags could make wings take dreams.

Posted by: Withnail at April 2, 2009 10:14 AM

The Dow is up 220, hopefully it'll hold but I doubt it. More than likely there will be some slippage, not much mind you, but some.

Posted by: Pookie at April 2, 2009 10:22 AM

My dad tells me stories of seeing Sam Kinison at a club in Chicago. My dad loved him and had all of his records, which led to the unfortunate circumstance of my dad laughing at the set-up, anticipating the punchline. He said a joke would start, my dad would laugh, the joke would end, and then the audience would laugh.

My dad cries when he laughs too hard. It's very funny, you should see it.

Posted by: JakesAlterEgo at April 2, 2009 10:22 AM

I watched Sam Kinison when I was definitely too young to be doing so. My parents were not so into changing their viewing habits to shield my brother and me. I clearly remember watching a Bette Midler comedy special on HBO when I was young. The Divine Miss M declared, "If they can't take a joke, fuck 'em!" I turned to my parents and said, "Yeah! Fuck 'em!" Ah, the formative years of those raised in the 80s...

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits (formerly Dangle McGee) at April 2, 2009 10:26 AM

So maybe it does say something about my age that I read this three times, each time thinking "Dan Fogel? The guy who wrote Leader of the Band and Another Auld Lang Syne? Isn't he dead?"
And then I realized, Fogelberg, Fogelberg. Then I went to change my Depends and get in line for dinner.

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 2, 2009 10:30 AM

Anyone else feel the urge to buy some Gold Bond powder?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 2, 2009 10:37 AM

Shuffleboard Paddy?

Posted by: Cindy at April 2, 2009 10:38 AM

I won a Sam Kinison album in 1988.

I don't 100% agree with the "nailed it" aspect here. While the voice, the mannerisms, the primal yell are all dead on, the "comedy" is missing. That clip makes me feel uncomfortable, sad for the guy on stage. What a miserable life he's got. The real Sam made me commiserate with him on, albiet a level I have been fortunate enough to avoid, but still. I understood the feelings he was going through and why he had to laugh about it or explode. But we laughed with him. Fogler has me checking the program to see who's next and how soon.

Posted by: Duane at April 2, 2009 10:42 AM

So in Internet years I might as well just crawl into my casket now.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 2, 2009 10:44 AM

I'd rather not be young enough to enjoy the comic stylings of Dane Cook rather than Kenison and Hicks.

Posted by: twig at April 2, 2009 10:49 AM

Do we credit actors too much for doing good work in biopics? Isn't this essentially a Kinison impression with loads of evidence to imitate? I'm not going to say acting is easy at all, but biopics do tend to remind me of the uncanny valley.

Now I just need to stop by the store to pick up some Fixodent for my 31-year-old brother. Old people are so cute.

Posted by: branded at April 2, 2009 10:50 AM

Ha ha...old people are old. In other news...how old are you, Dustin? Just wonderin...

I remember thinking Kinnison was a little bit of a one-trick pony. Yeah, he was kinda funny, but the yelling schtick got on my nerves. Regardless, I'm glad to see him being honored. He's from when comedy was good.

Now who's gonna play George Carlin in the biopic of his life?

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at April 2, 2009 10:51 AM

The Dow is up 220, hopefully it'll hold but I doubt it. More than likely there will be some slippage, not much mind you, but some.

Posted by: Pookie at April 2, 2009 10:22 AM
---
Now THAT was funny. Takes another old fuck to get it.

By the way, think it'll rain today? Forecast says it will, but I don't think so. Of course, I could be wrong, maybe it WILL rain. Yep, I think I see a cloud ...

(How many of my conversations with my mother end up.)

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 2, 2009 10:53 AM

Twig, don't forget about George Carlin. I miss him.

I wish someone would tell Dane Cook he isn't funny.

Posted by: Melody at April 2, 2009 10:57 AM

I thought Kinison was funny. My screams never sounded as good as his. This, tho, is extremely unfunny. The voice is right, the screams are right, but the delivery is not funny. And this guy's face never changes. Like a medium channelling someone else's soul. I'm not sitting thru a ZombieKinison movie. I'd rather fart dust. Which I think I just did.

Posted by: Chickaboom at April 2, 2009 11:05 AM

I wish someone would tell Dane Cook he isn't funny.

I'd like to volunteer. With a shotgun.

I'd rather not be young enough to enjoy the comic stylings of Dane Cook rather than Kenison and Hicks

Ah yes. I have all of Bill Hicks' material. Now there was a true philosophical comedic genius.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at April 2, 2009 11:07 AM

*Wanders in* Do I detect the distinct smell of cabbage?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at April 2, 2009 11:11 AM

It's Aspercreme, not cabbage.

Posted by: Melody at April 2, 2009 11:14 AM

Do I detect the distinct smell of cabbage?

Don't bring that shit up. I was already forced to imagine all manner of fetid cabbage forms over at Skitz' place, and now you're pulling me right back into EITHER one of my grandmothers' kitchens!

AND I DON'T WANT TO BE THERE WHEN THERE'S CABBAGE COOKIN!

Posted by: Jay at April 2, 2009 11:17 AM

Clap on! *clap clap*

Clap off! *clap clap*

Clap on, clap off! The clapper!!

That jingle still haunts my nightmares, so thanks for bringing it right on back to the forefront there, Dusty.)

Also, Sam Kinison always kind of annoyed me. He was pretty goddamned funny, though.

Optimus, that's the combined smell of cabbage, moth balls, and BenGay you smell. It's old in here.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at April 2, 2009 11:20 AM

I looked up Kinison on Youtube, and he was great, as it happens, I saw this same routine on the net with Kinison doing it. Now, seeing Fogler do this, I'm impressed, but also pissed. I keep thinking, "Impossible, that fat fuck from Balls of Fury can't be an actual actor?" But then, I realize he's perfect, ugly tub could get an Oscar nomination.

Trust me Dustin, I feel your pain, I saw Balls of Fury in theaters, it was even worse than Delta Farce. And the fact that the fat fuck can act feels insulting to the money I flushed down the toilet. At least Heigl gave the one good performance she'll give before she became the Hollywood fuckwit she did. Fogler is giving his afterwards.

It's okay, we can still hat that bloated waste of high fructose corn syrup until and after this film is released.

Posted by: George at April 2, 2009 11:28 AM

(Seth: Testing a comment update from the evil ip address at 11:28 a.m. EDT.)

So he evoked Sam Kinison, but he wasn't funny. Then again, neither was Sam Kinison. I have no dsire to watch a biopic about Sam Kinison. It's too late. Who cares?

Oh, and I am calling it TWATTERING from now on!~
Thank you!

Posted by: BWeaves from the evil ip address at April 2, 2009 11:28 AM

Dan Fogelberg is dead?

The screaming freaks me out, but I suppose it's great for all you Miracle Ear wearers.

Posted by: frumpiefox at April 2, 2009 11:30 AM

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who has heard of Sam Kinison. I'm not his biggest fan, but I get so tired of talking to people about him or Bill Hicks and getting blank stares(yeah, I know, who doesn't know who Hicks is..apaarentely lots of people)

I am 28 so I guess I'm not "old". But I just don't understand people who weren't comedy nerds in high school.

What were they doing with their time? Oh...having sex. Nevermind

Posted by: Park at April 2, 2009 11:35 AM

I remember Kinison mostly as misogynistic to the point that I would hit my boyfriend for the things Kinison said.

Oh, and yeah, he blew goats for quarters.

Posted by: lateformyfuneral at April 2, 2009 11:40 AM

i may have to get that box down from teh attic that has the sam kinison tapes in it. and steven wright. and ellen degenres when she pretended to be straight.

oh wait. those are all betamax.

Posted by: jimmy at April 2, 2009 11:58 AM

I’m not surprised by your comment lateformyfuneral, most dames don’t have a sense of humor, buy yet I’m supposed open the door for you and give you my money so you can feel wooed.

Posted by: Pookie at April 2, 2009 12:02 PM

I remember Kinison mostly as misogynistic to the point that I would hit my boyfriend for the things Kinison said.


...DRINK!!!

Posted by: PissBoy at April 2, 2009 12:11 PM

"hot modelss"? tell me more, cathy...

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at April 2, 2009 12:13 PM

You mean I'm supposed to get paid for being a dame? Damn, Pookie, I've been missing out for years...thanks for the info.

Posted by: lateformyfuneral at April 2, 2009 12:23 PM

Oh. My. SHIT! He was William Barfee?!? My world, it has been rocked. I actually have respect for him now... which makes me feel so icky. But still, awesomeness...

Posted by: Patty O'Green at April 2, 2009 12:25 PM

I liked Fogler on Broadway, but I kind of agree with Duane and Chickaboom here. I don't know if he's trying to put too much inner pain behind the performance or what it is, but as much as he has the rage it rings hollow. There's no life behind the eyes. Still though, for just a screen test it's not bad.

Posted by: Eep at April 2, 2009 12:26 PM

NO.

Just

fucking

no.

Posted by: Recondite at April 2, 2009 12:33 PM

FrumpieFox:

Yeah. Dan Fogelberg died last year. I can't remember if it was heart disease or cancer. Must have been cancer. No-one in Boulder ever gets heart disease. There's a law against it (pushed by the evil granola lobby).

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 2, 2009 12:33 PM

If there's the slightest edge of ruthlessness in any of my opinions, I attribute it directly to Kinison's "Move to Where the Food Is" rant. For all it's impracticality, there's a logic to it.

And Fogler's performance here is acceptable, except as Duane pointed out, it's not as funny as Sam's delivery. When people really smile, they smile with their eyes, and when Sam screamed, he screamed with his eyes, too. Fogler's eyes are dead throughout the entire video.

But here's a twist: what if that was the plan? Sam lived a rocker's life, died a rocker's death, and that kind of thing doesn't just happen, it's the result of suffering. I love me some Kinison, he made me laugh hard and long, but even when he was new on the scene, I wondered... Is this guy really joking?

A bit of reading and research, and I have to say I don't think he was. Sam was funny as hell, but he was barely joking.

I'd like to think that's where Fogler's taking this. He's showing us what Sam didn't: that Sam may have been the most unhappy comedian of his generation.

Now, where'd I put that walker? Maybe I can get everything in my bladder all the way to the toilet this time...

Posted by: Baldo at April 2, 2009 12:37 PM

Kinison wasn't a happy man. That's the thing with most comedians. A lot of them aren't really happy. Making others laugh is their coping mechanisms, which sometimes come with drugs or alcohol.

Posted by: Melody at April 2, 2009 12:46 PM

Don't accuse me of doing drugs Melody.

Posted by: Pookie at April 2, 2009 12:50 PM

When I was child I was scared of Sam Kinison. Like, crazy scared. He reminded me of that scene in Beauty and the Beast when the Beast yelled "She can go ahead and STARVE!!!"

Oof. Shivers.

Posted by: Julie at April 2, 2009 12:58 PM

*Shuffles in*

Has anyone seen my pants?

*Wets self*

Goddamn kids.

Posted by: admin at April 2, 2009 12:59 PM

I AM too young to remember Kinison, but I can tell you right now that I would never have been a fan. I hate people screaming. Hate it. It's deeply upsetting to me for no discernible reason except that I had a third grade teacher who would regularly scream at my class. It barely even matters if I would have found what he was saying amusing because the yelling would have absolutely killed it for me.

I will not see this movie. Ever. Because of the screaming.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at April 2, 2009 1:03 PM

Awww, PaddyDog, that's sad news. If Netherlands wasn't so depressing, I'd listen to it to cheer myself up.

Posted by: frumpiefox at April 2, 2009 1:37 PM

Face it, many of us have long since peaked.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30014027/

........and when did they cancel Matlock?

Posted by: slower lower at April 2, 2009 2:15 PM

I think I'll be skipping this one. I never liked Sam Kinison. Even when I wasn't 124 years old, I still thought his antics were a little too loud. A lot like that GODdamned rock and roll music the kids are listening to these days.

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at April 2, 2009 5:23 PM

Oh, the Clapper is still around and available at your local hardware store.

I put one on a lamp in my bedroom awhile ago but it kept turning the light on in the middle of the night when I coughed. Or rolled over.

So, still the same great 80s technology.

Posted by: Michellers at April 2, 2009 5:42 PM

Wait, wha? 40 is old? Dammit, I think I just pooped a little...

Posted by: Codeman at April 2, 2009 5:43 PM

Kinison's act was pretty funny at first, however he soon became a sad parody of himself. He stopped doing material & began resorting to his shtick completely, he wasn't funny anymore soon thereafter. Coke, strippers, booze & hair metal were his undoing.

Same thing happened to Dice, except Dice had way less material than Sam & quickly ran his act into the ground. He's still doing it, in fact, same jokes.

That first Rodney Dangerfield HBO special was one of the TV highlights of the 80's IMO. Even Tim fucking Allen was funny back then.

Yeah I'm fucking old but I was pirating music & software back when some of you youngsters were still rolling around on the floor with your WWF action figures, so tweet that, you bastards.

Posted by: Dude Manbro at April 2, 2009 8:20 PM

I'm 38, my boss is 51. I love being able to tell her about this interweb stuff, because she sits there looking at me like I'm speaking Russian. She even cocks her head sometimes.

"Is this a thing in the headbook?"

I'm all "WHAT?"

"That thing you tell me about with your.....friends?"

"Oh, Facebook, no this is a different thing--there are more than one sites on the internet, did you know that?"

"Sites?"

Sigh. I not only remember Sam Kinison, I believe I was an adult when he got famous. I couldn't stand the man after the first few chuckles. Why would I want to listen to someone scream? His shtick got old fast with me. Give me some Andy Griffith stand up anyday.

Posted by: Anastasia Beaverhausen at April 2, 2009 9:05 PM

Genny/Rusty I honestly feel like screaming/yelling is like verbal violence. I know that sounds sort of crazy, but I've unfortunately seen way too many teachers do nothing but scream at kids and they're just constantly rattled. That's just not cool, you know? I can't stand yelling, either. REALLY can't stand it. Unless someone is in imminent danger, there's no reason for it.

Posted by: Anastasia Beaverhausen at April 2, 2009 9:08 PM

AB, we may have the same boss.

Posted by: Lainey at April 2, 2009 10:01 PM

He got the breathing into the mic thing. Wow. And the laugh's pretty close.

Posted by: Lucas at April 2, 2009 10:03 PM

I fucking love Bill Hicks, I try to turn people on to him but they don't seem to get it. I think I am surrounded by idiots.

Posted by: iheartlasagne at April 2, 2009 11:47 PM

I'd like to think that's where Fogler's taking this. He's showing us what Sam didn't: that Sam may have been the most unhappy comedian of his generation.

Posted by: Baldo at April 2, 2009 12:37 PM

That's a beautiful theory, Baldo *sniff*.

It's unfathomable to me that Fogler could put that much creative thought and energy into a performance...but it's a nice theory.

Kinison rocked in the day. Yeah, he became a parody of himself, and yeah, he could be uncomfortably misogynistic -- but why stop when you're right? AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!


Posted by: Che Grovera at April 3, 2009 1:14 AM

I am so on team Duane and Chickaboom here. I remember loving Sam Kinison in the 80's. He was one of my favorites behind Rodney Dangerfield and Bill Murray. While Fogler may have the mannerism's down I really don't think he delivers the funny from Kinisonn's act.
And Rusty, I never thought of it as "screaming" more like releasing his frustration. It was the politically incorrectness of what he was screaming about that made it funny. Who hasn't wanted to go up to Sally Struthers just once and scream at the top of your lungs "Tell them to go to where the food is!!!!!!!".
And as for the theory that Fogler is trying to show the pain behind the act, well not seeing the pain during the schtick was what made him funny. Seeing the pain in something funny makes it the opposite of funny, so why bother. That's what the rest of the movie is for. The last thing I want is to pull out the old videos of Dangerfield's HBO special and spend the whole time thinking about addiciton or depression.

Posted by: Phat girl at April 3, 2009 12:20 PM

Phat girl, I have to disagree with you. Painful humor is the best kind. And now that I've made the statement, I can't think of a good example. Damn.

Posted by: Lucas at April 4, 2009 11:47 AM

Fuck you Rowles, you crappy little bastard! And get off my lawn!

Posted by: Brite at April 4, 2009 12:43 PM

Siiiiiigh. I was old enough to remember Sam, and I didn't like him.

Actually I am old enough to have gone to college with Dan Fogler. Which I did. And he was very nice and threw wicked good off campus parties with free booze and his crazy hot flatmates.

So since he's the only one from our class that I can point to on the TV and go, hey I took voice & speech with him! I think he should keep making movies. Balls of Fury was not his fault and he's a nice guy, really.

Posted by: Lola at April 5, 2009 12:36 AM


















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