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Dan Fogler Responds to a Rumor that Pajiba (Accidentally) Started

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (58)



danfoglerunclebuck.png

I don’t know whether I should feel proud of this, or really fucking embarrassed (I’m leaning toward the latter). But back in May, during a particularly slow news week, I was feeling punchy so I let you guys know that, at some point during the next day or two, I’d completely fabricate an entire trade story and run it (that idea, in combination with the absurdity of the type of projects in the works right now in Hollywood eventually spawned a regular feature here, Two Truths and a Lie). It was just for giggles and shits, because that’s the sort of thing we do on Pajiba from time to time. I consider Pajiba to be a fairly insular movie website — we do things completely different from others (and with more profanity), and while we have a fairly significant readership, most of the other movie sites tend to ignore us. I’m actually cool with that. It sets us apart.

Anyway, I told you folks to keep an eye out for it, and I was very upfront about the fact that I was going to make up a news item. I mean: At this point, considering how ridiculous some of the remakes and reboot ideas are, almost nothing would seem to absurd.T hey’re making a movie out of Bazooka Joe, for fuck’s sake. And sure enough, after I announced that I’d be making up a post, over the next few days, commenters would chime in to suggest that whatever ridiculous news item I was running with at that time was the made up one. They never were. But the thing is: When I actually did run the made-up news item, no one ever suggested that it was the lie.

And here’s where it gets tricky. I completely forgot to mention, at a later point, that this particular story was the one I’d made up. Days, weeks, and months went by, and I never thought anything about it. That is, until last night, when I saw over on Twitter that WeAreMovieGeeks was running a interview with Dan Fogler, and in one of the clips, Fogler was dispelling a “rumor” that he was set to star in a remake of Uncle Buck.

Well, that wasn’t so much a rumor as it was me making up something and not realizing that somebody outside of Pajiba and our readership would ever pick up on it. But I Googled it last night, and wouldn’t you know it: That goddamn lie had a small life of its own. I pulled something out of my ass (and gave it a few believable details) and four months later, Dan Fogler was responding to it. He, of course, said that he’d heard nothing about it. nor should he have. Because I made it up.

Here’s the interview:

(And for more of the interview, check out WAMG)

And that, folks, is the dumb power of the Internet. Nobody checks sources. Some jackass feeling punchy one day makes up something, two people run with it no questions asked, and the next thing you know, some dude is asking the man about it. My apologies to Mr. Fogler.

Balls of Fury was still one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, and I still wish Hitchcock were alive so he could throw M. Night Shyamalan at Dan Fogler.

And that, folks, is the danger of inside jokes.









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Comments

All behold, THE POWER OF PAJIBA

Posted by: avocadolime at September 3, 2009 10:06 PM

With great power comes great responsibility. Keep that in mind.

Posted by: MM at September 3, 2009 10:07 PM

I thought I'd missed the reveal of the fake story, but I guess not!

This could have been super dangerous. Imagine if he had responded, "No, I'm not attached, but that's a DAMN good idea! I'm going to get right on that!" Thank godtopus he's more concerned with taking his "career" in a "different direction." (Gag me.)

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at September 3, 2009 10:11 PM

Oh wow. That is pretty amazing. You think Fogler is reading this now?


Posted by: dene at September 3, 2009 10:11 PM

Uh oh. We got some 'splaining to do to Joshua Jackson(R.I.P.)'s family.

Posted by: branded at September 3, 2009 10:11 PM

Listen, I know he makes nothing but shit films now, but Dan Folger is a talent. Serious talent. I've seen him on Broadway. He's a funny, singing, dancing, talent. He can do things on stage that none of the other comics forced into shit films can do.

let's cut him a little slack, and not begrudge someone a paycheck.

And yes, Balls of Fury sucks Balls.

Posted by: Withnail at September 3, 2009 10:14 PM

didn't Jerce originally suggest the 2 truths and a lie idea?
i just don't think we should ALL get in trouble.
there HAS to be a scapegoat.

YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!

*throws Jerce under the bus*

Posted by: gp at September 3, 2009 10:15 PM

Ahahahahahahaha. Awesome.

Also, Fogler seems pretty spacey in that interview. Like he really doesn't give two shits. Which I can kind of understand if the interviewer was asking him about a "rumor" that was completely false.

Posted by: Rusty (formerly Genny) at September 3, 2009 10:19 PM

Well, Hollywood has been fucking around with us for a long time now so it's only fair we get to piss on their brains.

It was Jerce!

Posted by: admin at September 3, 2009 10:24 PM

This is the most awesome thing in the history of ever. We need to make one up RIGHT NOW.

Like: Paris Hilton is a man.

RUN WITH IT.

Posted by: figgy at September 3, 2009 10:30 PM

Listen Rowles, Man the fuck up! I had to go look up Fogler to find out who the fuck he was, and as I expected he’s a goddamn lightweight. The fucker’s claim to fame is “Balls of Fury,” are you shitting me! Trust me Rowles you did that fucker a favor by keeping his name in the trade papers. Son I could understood if you called out Bobby De Niro or some other heavyweight but you didn’t, you called out Dan fucking Fogler. This is not how an internets mogul should be acting.

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 3, 2009 10:32 PM

figgy, i think that's already a rumor. we need one that will be unmistakably OURS when it is addressed.

Posted by: gp at September 3, 2009 10:33 PM

Fuck you Dan Fogler, you’ve been in more turds than Andy Dick.

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 3, 2009 10:38 PM

Fuck you Dan Fogler, even your agent says you should find another line of work.

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 3, 2009 10:43 PM

Fuck you Dan Fogler, even Helen Keller has a brighter future than you do.

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 3, 2009 10:54 PM

Fuck you Dan Fogler, your acting has put more people to sleep than Pol Pot.

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 3, 2009 11:00 PM

Whew, for a moment there I thought we were going to see a picture of Dan Fogler in a blender.

Posted by: laredo at September 3, 2009 11:19 PM

Holy Shit...that was the lie? Wow...

Didn't we talk about this exact same thing happening earlier this year? Didn't Dustin host a comment division where we thought up ideas about bd movies and lo and behold if they didn't appear as real news items the following week?


My godtopus...Big Brother is watching ME!!

Posted by: alphawhiskey at September 3, 2009 11:21 PM

Starting a rumor that Paris Hilton is NOT a man would be more scintillating.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at September 3, 2009 11:23 PM

Dan Fogler should be happy that someone is "considering" him a possible lead in an Uncle Buck remake.

He can't carry John Candy's coffee mug.
~

Posted by: Meander at September 3, 2009 11:31 PM

I'm starting a rumor that Viggo Mortensen wants me. He's coming to steal me away.

Posted by: Cindy at September 3, 2009 11:34 PM

Sure Cindy he’s coming, just as soon as he finishes that last line of blow off his model girlfriend’s ass.

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 3, 2009 11:46 PM

He likes homely girls better.

Posted by: Cindy at September 3, 2009 11:48 PM

i'm going to make a tee-shirt that reads, "i'd rather be doing coke off a homely girl's ass."

Posted by: gp at September 3, 2009 11:55 PM

Yeah Cindy, any guy in his right mind would pick Mare Winningham over Gisele Bundchen.

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 3, 2009 11:55 PM

Well, psh! I don't see YOU coming up with anything!

*huffs*

Posted by: figgy at September 3, 2009 11:56 PM

No offense gp, but wouldn’t you rather be doing coke off some guy’s ass?

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 3, 2009 11:58 PM

Just because you're nasty, bitter fucks doesn't mean Viggo couldn't get down with my scrappy self.

Posted by: Cindy at September 4, 2009 12:01 AM

Listen Cindy, it’s past midnight and you’re having a conversation with a guy that goes my the name Guess Who! And somehow you want us to believe that Viggo is going to make a move on you when I’m not looking?

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 4, 2009 12:10 AM

i'd rather being doing coke (period)

Posted by: gp at September 4, 2009 12:18 AM

I'm closing my eyes and tapping my heels together three times. And I'm thinking to myself, "There's no place like Viggo".

Posted by: Cindy at September 4, 2009 12:21 AM

Well done, sir. Well done. This is why I love you guys.

Posted by: frothygirl at September 4, 2009 12:21 AM

Agreed--bravo, Rowles. Perhaps you should consider producing.

Posted by: Sapphiar at September 4, 2009 12:53 AM

Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

, (soon to be a member of the power elite)

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at September 4, 2009 1:10 AM

Uh oh. We got some 'splaining to do to Joshua Jackson(R.I.P.)'s family.

Oh my fuck - I just spit my mouthful of Screamer all over my computer screen.

branded - I love you.

Posted by: Kelly at September 4, 2009 1:23 AM

Viggo? Eeeh....dunno. He seems kinda...stringy to me.

Posted by: figgy at September 4, 2009 1:33 AM

Maybe I misjudged the guy. I hated Balls of Fury just as you did, Dustin, but he seems a lot more human than many other actors in this interview.

Maybe he'll actually do something good for his next film, and then well just pity him rather than hate him, granted, pigs might fly out of my ass before then, both are just as likely at this point.

Posted by: George at September 4, 2009 1:35 AM

i swear to fucking god that Fogler was at the dodger game on Tues doing a journey song skit during the 7th inning strecth , ok it might not have been him but looked like the mother fucker to me. Anyone go to the game who can back me up on this.
He looked fucking stupid and it was very staged.

Posted by: gilp at September 4, 2009 1:35 AM

Figgy - How about Amy Adams is considering a role with nudity? or that Paris Hilton is considering a role without?

Posted by: Arib at September 4, 2009 3:35 AM

I suppose it's time to add © to every comment. Only a matter of time.

Those Denny's b*stards will owe Skitz for the Bjorkfast Burrito© concept.

Posted by: replica at September 4, 2009 3:40 AM

Viggo Had a baby with her.

http://www.exenecervenka.com/images/purple_girl_signed.jpg

I mean, I love her. But Viggo likes brains, and Cindy has them brains and more.

Guessing really does mean speaking without the benefit of actual knowledge, then.

Hmmmmmm.

Posted by: Stacy D at September 4, 2009 4:43 AM

Proud, dude - PROUD! This is a glorious day for Pajiba. But I really hope now you've realised your Hollywood clout in getting projects, er, rumoured, you're not going to publish any old film idea that jumps into your mind. Keep shtum about that remake of Some Like It Hot with Jessica Alba, Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller, for instance.

Posted by: Caspar at September 4, 2009 4:46 AM

Also if anyone cares to report this to Paris Hilton's Wackenhut People, I feel an increasing urge daily to run up to her with a set of garden shears and snip off that supefluous WHAT-LOBE off the end of her ridiculous nose.

I have a feeling the cuttin' wouldn't stop there, nahmean?

Posted by: Stacy D at September 4, 2009 4:47 AM

As someone who worked on an ad featuring Paris Hilton, and who watched the male director sneakily walk around in Paris' shoes whilst she was off set, let me just say... the girl has man-feet. MAN-FEET.
Those puppies are enormous, I'm just saying...

Posted by: missh at September 4, 2009 5:28 AM

I bet that's the last thing John Hughes heard, and how that turned out dustin? you killed our teenagehood!
but hey, now that you know what you can do let's use this powers for good.
Who do we kill next?

Posted by: rio at September 4, 2009 5:31 AM

Only problem is, some producer-tool will green light it now that there's "buzz" for it.

Posted by: protoguy at September 4, 2009 8:40 AM

Er, yes Stacy, I do have brains. I mean, I'm sitting here typing and all, so that qualifies me, right?

figgy! I'm speechless.

Posted by: Cindy at September 4, 2009 9:00 AM

the girl has man-feet. MAN-FEET.
Those puppies are enormous, I'm just saying...

Posted by: missh at September 4, 2009 5:28 AM
---
And we all know what big feet mean on a man like Paris. Yep: eNORmous schwannshtukker.

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at September 4, 2009 9:32 AM

The only problem I have with the "Paris Hilton is a man" rumor is that most of the internet has seen her meat curtains at one time or another.

Either she has a really artful tuck style, and Rick Salomon likes the man-hole more than previously thought, or she actually is a woman. Both possibilities are equally hideous to me, actually.

Posted by: Snath at September 4, 2009 9:45 AM

Can I just say, "Thank, God?" I was soooo pissed at the original posting for this rumor. I adore Uncle Buck and for future reference, Rowles, I'd appreciate you not spreading rumors that break my heart so damn much.

Posted by: Kayanne at September 4, 2009 10:18 AM

The possibility of Paris Hilton being human let alone one gender or the other is hideous.

Posted by: Eyvi at September 4, 2009 10:26 AM

Which makes this the second time it was actually appropriate to discuss Dan Fogler in way connected to the site, the first being the Balls of Fury review.

What an awful actor. I still can't wrap my brain around how he won a Tony Award for giving the worst performance in an otherwise fantastic ensemble show, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. I saw him in it, unfortunately, three times, and he actually got worse in later performances. Thank God for the rest of the cast balancing out the vortex of pure suckitude so strongly.

Posted by: Robert at September 4, 2009 10:38 AM

Jason Statham is starring in a remake of "Vanishing Point" highlighting the new Dodge Challenger (With the Hurst upgrades) with Don Cheadle playing the DJ (Supersoul) and the starlet of your choice as the nude motorcycle rider. We might as well use this power for good, right?

Posted by: Mrcreosote at September 4, 2009 10:53 AM

While we're on the subject of Bullshit remakes, how's about Dane Cook in a remake of Tom Hanks' Philadelphia. Watch as Cook joke his way out of death with his boyfriend played by john Leguizamo. And his defense attorny is played by Tyler Perry. The voice of God will get you through this or he'll burn you ass for getting AIDS, I just don't know, man.

Posted by: Corey W. at September 4, 2009 11:19 AM

Guys, I don't think you realize what this means.

We have to get rid of "Let's Remake..." and the lie part of "Two Truths and a Lie" now! Someone on the outside is watching a paying very close attention...

Posted by: Macafee at September 4, 2009 12:36 PM

The PAJIBAPOCALYPSE is here!
Kneel before the Kolbaby!
WORSHIP HIM!

Posted by: Sofía at September 4, 2009 1:24 PM

When I first looked that the photoshopped picture I thought, "When was Sam Kinison in a family movie?"

Posted by: Major Etiquette at September 4, 2009 4:50 PM

My friend recently started an online fictional news blog about football (soccer) and wrote an entry about some player's autobiogrphy. The amount of people believing it (when the blog clearly stated it was made up) and spreading it about the internet was one thing, but a Finnish commentator, live on national tv, referenced said fake autobiography. That's when I realised the power of the internet.

Posted by: Carrie at September 6, 2009 10:23 AM