Damn Son, Fat Kilmer Makes Good-Looking Kids
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Damn Son, Fat Kilmer Makes Good-Looking Kids

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | November 18, 2012 | Comments ()


Their names are Mercedes and Jack, the children of Val Kilmer and Joanne Whaley, Kilmer's co-star on Willow. They're 21 and 17, respectively, and they are not yet in the entertainment industry.


(via Val Kilmer's Twitter)

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • e jerry powell

    Do we actually not consider Joanne Whalley to be Val Kilmer's ex-wife anymore? I mean, she's actually credited as Joanne Whalley-Kilmer in a couple of films.

  • DarthCorleone

    In 2002 Val brought home a Spider-Man bobblehead for Jack from the Spider-Man 2 premiere after-party.

  • Jezzer

    I'm trying to find the hotness in the layers of pretentious Instagrammy twattery in that picture, and am failing miserably. She's pretty enough, but when I look at her brother and say "I would hit that," I mean "with a shovel."

  • Sara_Tonin00

    It's the shirt, isn't it? It's the shirt.

  • Jezzer

    It's mostly the vapid, mouth-breathing expression.

  • They look a *lot* like their mum. They have the Whalley mouth.

  • Groundloop

    I'm undecided as to whether you've given Joanne Whalley's mouth way too much thought, or just the right amount of thought.

    /checks IMDB/

    Yep. Still sexy as hell. Carry on Mr. Collins, carry on.

  • BiblioGlow

    Has no one noticed the smoke demon eyeing Fat Kilmer in that pic? Because he is definitely getting his soul stolen as soon as he finishes that beer.

  • zeke_the_pig

    Looks like a smoke stormtrooper.

  • Went There

    Is that surprise? You've seen your own kids, right?

  • BierceAmbrose

    Why is it that parental Hotness only sometimes adds in the kids, while parental Batshittery always multiples?

    I'm thinking the offspring of Halle Berry & her former arm candy while potentially gorgeous, will inevitably eat bugs while talking to herself in a made up language.

    Add in the inevitable trust fund & I'm thinking that's not such a bad deal. Bugs can be tasty.

  • googergieger

    But what about Fatxel Rose?

  • Jaime

    Well it makes sense. Fat!Kilmer was once Hot!Kilmer and Joanne's pretty foxy herself. Their chances of having attractive kids were very high.

  • pnnylne

    I've found that hot + hot = meh, hot, or fug (could go any way, depends on how funny God wants to be that day), fug + fug = hot (0_0 - the mind boggles).

  • Natallica

    The hot + hot Jolie-Pitt kids run in all the spectrum. You have Shiloh (hot), Knox (meh) and Viv (fug). Is the most extreme derivation of their United Colors of Benneton scheme

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Did you just rate a 5 year old as "hot"?

  • Natallica

    Yes I did. Jailtime for me? Can we settle on "proto-hot"?

  • Melissa

    Oh, not really...it seems hot+hot rarely equals hot, because most of the time, the two hotnesses are not compatible.

    Rumor Willis comes to mind in the entertainment industry, and my cousins kid in real life. Her mom and dad are both attractive people, but damn if she didn't get hit by the fug stick.

  • sars

    Rumor acctually looks like demi pre-all the operations she's had, which included a chin reductino surgery. you can see where poor rumor gets it. and bruce willis does not have attractive features. he has small eyes, big nose and thin lips. Its the charisma more than the looks (for example when it comes to Brad Pitt) that makes Willis hot. so its actually not that big of a surprise how the kids turned out.

  • tinad5

    I agree. Just look at Benedict Cumberbatch. His parents were good looking, then there is their weird looking spawn.

  • jeannebean

    I'll be HAPPY to look at Benedict Cumberbatch, thank you, as will legions of other people with taste. Where's that GIF of him walking down the street and removing a scarf? I rest my case, Your Honor...

  • tinad5

    Don't be so butthurt miss.. It's not good for your health.

  • jeannebean

    Who's butthurt? You're a sour-grapes loser who no one watches walk down the street - that's not good for YOUR health.

  • tinad5

    this childish response...

  • Guest

    "Rarely"? Not IME. It's no guarantee, of course, but "rarely" doesn't quite seem to be le mot juste.

  • Pawesl

    Rumor doesnt really count since Demi had a ton of plastic surgery before she hit it big in Hollywood. All 3 girls have that weird chin which I'm thinking they get from her since Bruce doesnt have one like it (not that he is really all that attractive either).

  • e jerry powell

    I dunno. There have been a couple of minutes since he broke out in "Moonlighting" where I've thought, "I'd hit that." But only a couple.

  • Jaime

    Very true! I was actually thinking of Rumor while I was typing that. :)

  • Az

    What rumor exactly were y'all thinking of? There are so many, after all.

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