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CW Developing Drama Based on Fred Durst's Life

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Trade News | October 31, 2013 | Comments ()


Fred-Durst-Suicide.jpg

I normally would leave the news regarding serious hardcore metal musicians to our resident expert TK, especially because I know he is Fred Durst’s biggest fan, like, in the world. I’m not going to say where, but I’m just saying that there’s a “Nookie” tattoo somewhere on TK’s body. But there was no way I could leave this trade news unattended. It’s just too fantastic.

The CW is developing a one hour scripted drama based on Fred Durst’s life.

Just let that wash over you for a moment.

The feelings … it’s like laughing gas mixed with emotional constipation, isn’t it?

Wait, wait, before the high fades and you snort rubber cement to get it back, here’s the EXCLUSIVE description of the show from TV Guide, in the scoop that killed the soul of some poor would-be journalist who probably dreamed of being the one to break the next Watergate:

“The Noise, created by Durst, chronicles the rise of a young artist in the 1990s who escapes a tumultuous home life and forms a wildly popular band with a unique sound.”

CW should halt production on all of their scripted comedies and just let whoever greenlit this pick up whatever shows they see fit. I mean, don’t actually make any of them, but just give us a half hour a week of a black screen listing the show pitches picked up. I guarantee that it will be funnier than anything that the CW is actually putting on television right now.




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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Bennetttt

    Fred Durst, the man whose career is based on redoing other people's creations. His fame began with George Michael's Faith, and continued to profit on cover songs. Oh, I forgot his “music” complaining about dating Britney Spears (such horror dating sexy popstars, and cashing in on making tabloid insults) , or his song making fun of Trent Reznor for creating successful original content. Something Fred Durst knows nothing about.

    I could go on about my dislike for Limp Bitch-shits, but that would only glorify him. He is a true conman, and should never be worthy of any serious considerations.

  • e jerry powell

    I've seen Fred Durst's dick. I'll pass on this one.

  • Nicholas

    Ugh! This article just reminded me that I saw Dursts' porno...:barf:

  • Uriah_Creep

    What's next, "Justin: Trials of a YouTube Sensation"?

  • sanity fair

    "serious hardcore metal musicians"

    I'm assuming this was said with some SERIOUS sarcasm when referring to Fred Durst?

  • This might be useful, until it explodes:

  • bleujayone

    "Durst Bag: The Life & Times of an Unbelievably Lucky Wanker" coming to the CW.

  • Todd Sikkema

    "The feelings … it’s like laughing gas mixed with emotional constipation, isn’t it?"

    Best line of the day.

  • I always felt that Limp Bizkit would have been a pretty good band if Fred Durst wasn't the lead singer.

    His pinched scrotum whining and weak rapping diluted the amazing riffs Wes Borland used to come up with.

  • Ben

    you might wanna check out a band named Big Dumb Face, it was a side project of Wes Boreland (Bass player in a skeleton suit) that was actually pretty decent from what I remember of listening to them in the late 90's.

  • bastich

    Gotta admit, I still have a soft spot for their cover of "Faith".

  • Jessie Soto

    I don't usually post in the comments--I like to read what everyone else is saying and just sit there as a quiet observer. But I can't not comment on this post because I hate Limp Bizkit THAT much.

    I would rather watch a show based on Taylor Swift's Lisa Frank Sparkly Magic Unicorn life. I would rather The Jonas Brothers re-do Yellow Submarine. I would rather Miley Cyrus re-make Evita. I would rather have Rainbow Killer play Patty Mayonnaise in a Doug movie. These are all things I'd rather see than that asshat having his own show about his life.

  • emmelemm

    Eloquent Eloquence hole-in-one, baby.

  • Jessie Soto

    Awww thanks you guys. I feel all warm and squishy induced now. :)

    Seriously though, I thought Fred Durst had drowned in his own hot dog flavoured douche water and disappeared off the face of the earth. I don't see anyone tuning in to watch this tripe, as Limp Bizkit stopped being relevant around the same time around 2000-2001 or so. And aren't most CW viewers females ages 18-35 who like tuning in to see fashion, vampires, fashionable vampires, and Lifetime Light crap like Heart of Dixie? Why would they want to watch a show about a mediocre at best "musician" who forms a band that only frat boys (and TK) listened to 13 years ago? The only way I see this working on the CW is if they cast Chace Crawford in the Durst role, Zac Efron and that English guy who's Romeo in the new Romeo and Juliet (I forget his name, he's pretty and shiny looking, though), make them all vampires, throw some glitter in there and Aeropostale clothes, play some American Rejects or Owl City, and watch them go.

  • Jessie Soto

    Feel squishy, not induced. I'm having trouble editing my post!

  • Uriah_Creep

    The bitterness is strong in this one. We must induct her into the Pajiba Mock & Droll club.

  • koko temur

    Miley remaking Evita? You need to comment more often.

  • axis2clusterB

    Fred Durst grabbed my boob once and my husband punched him. Now that I read this, I'd like to track him down and let my hubby punch him again.

  • NoPantsMcLane

    I hope that makes it in the show.

  • John W

    I let it wash over me. Now I need a shower.

  • Al Borland's Beard

    I wonder if it's a coincidence that there's an ad for the Affliction Fall 2013 Collection on my page right now.

  • Miss Laaw-yuhr

    Please tell me the show will be called "I did it all for the Nookie".

  • bastich

    I vote that Fred names the show after one of their albums...maybe "Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water"?

    That'll make the show sound all classy and stuff.

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