Pajiba

Scott Stapp looks like he smells like some sort of oil.

Or that like, you could date him for 6 months, and things would be tolerable until you wake up and he's peeing in your mouth and calling you mom until he gets hard.

Wait a minute, I thought Creed broke up? Did Stapp not go solo? And what ever happened to Staind? Why do I ask when I do not care?

Remember Evanescence?

If this comes to Boston, I'm going to get a job at the theater it's playing at as a ticket-taker, and cockpunch anyone who buys a ticket.

Then I will set the universe on fire.

Ah, who the hell are they expecting to pay to see this shit?

Nickleback fans, Slim. They're pretty much the same band.

Gah! Nickleback! AAAHHHH!!!!

RAAAAAAAGE!!!!! SEEEEETHING RAAAAAAGE!!!!!!!!!

I realize this is probably the wrong crowd to ask (at least I *hope* it is, because if it isn't, I fucking quit), but... are there, like, really hardcore Nickleback and Creed fans? Like, people who buy all their albums and go to all their shows? I mean... are there?

Is the world that dark a place?

Also, if there are such people, and you know them, aren't you morally obligated to stick a knife in their kidneys and then stand there and watch them slowly bleed to death?

"Trick R' Treat" never got released into theaters. I hate everything.

TK, or at least cut out their kidneys and give them to someone who's on a kidney donor list or something. They don't deserve kidneys if they are going to waste them listening to Nickelback and/or Creed.

Creed is disgusting.

However, Nickelback does have a couple of points from me, just for the song "Animals." It must have been a magnificent fluke because everything else they've produced is a big steaming pile of redneck rock.

I realize this is probably the wrong crowd to ask (at least I *hope* it is, because if it isn't, I fucking quit), but... are there, like, really hardcore Nickleback and Creed fans? Like, people who buy all their albums and go to all their shows? I mean... are there?

I hear a Nickelback song at least three times a week while at work, and occasionally a Creed song(though, I usually veto at that point), all played by the same dude. I wouldn't call him hardcore, but he takes "like what you like 'cause you like it without thinking about it at all" to its purest level...and I think I respect him for that.

I love that Nickelback album cover with the featureless black hot rod that's all blurry. It is the perfect description of Nickelback. "We're a black hot rod screamin' towards the sunset!" But, really, they're just bland and cliche.

But, yeah, I can't imagine this Creed theater concert doing well.

Confession: I have bought a ticket to a Creed concert before. {DUCKS}

WAIT, I can explain. Someone in their insane marketing group booked them with Oleander and Our Lady Peace. I really liked Oleander (this was back in like 2000) and I LOVED Our Lady Peace. So after some extensive deliberation we sucked down our pride and bought tickets to Our Lady Peace and fully planned to leave before Creed came on.

Oleander was excellent, OLP blew the flipping doors off, and the gf and I had gotten quite drunk. So when Creed was coming on we decided to stay and watch the train wreck unfold. Also, truth be told, I dig the song "What If?" from the Scream 3 soundtrack and thought it may get played.

So we made it to the 3rd or 4th song, and it was brutal. Really awful, painful, stuff. Like listening to the songs on a radio at full volume with no OFF switch. Then the lights dimmed and a moody song started to play. Next we see Scott Stapp in full on Jim Morrison/Jesus Christ pose self-importantly inviting the crowd to "Come with him to a place in the clouds" and he kept doing this cheesy hand motioning wave while repeating "Come with me" to several sections of the audience. After this cringe worthy display they started playing the song "Arms Wide Open" which made me want to gouge out my ears with a broken beer bottle.

It was at that point we gave up and left. We tried to get through but it was just too painful. As if I didn't hate that santimonious prick enough, the idea that OLP was playing 2nd fiddle to fucking CREED was just too much. The day I found out Creed was no more was a good day on planet Earth. Perhaps the best since the Berlin wall came down, not to over state the point too much.

I greeted the news that Creed was reuniting with the same reaction as when I heard Godsmack was reuniting. I renounced God and spent the next 3 days in a bottle of Jameson.

I realize this is probably the wrong crowd to ask (at least I *hope* it is, because if it isn't, I fucking quit), but... are there, like, really hardcore Nickleback and Creed fans? Like, people who buy all their albums and go to all their shows? I mean... are there?

Is the world that dark a place?

Also, if there are such people, and you know them, aren't you morally obligated to stick a knife in their kidneys and then stand there and watch them slowly bleed to death?

Posted by: TK at December 3, 2009 10:22 AM

Two or three weeks ago, while driving home from work, the local rock station fired up the latest Creed single and the DJ said "Here's the latest from Creed!" All I could think was, "Wow, really? Who wants to hear the latest from Creed? Seriously? Anyone? Any takers?" And then I hit play on my iPod and drove home without using people as speed bumps.

The next day, at work, a peer in one of our systems support groups fired up an instant messenger conversation with me asking me if, like so many other people, I thought she was just absolutely INSANE for being completely, totally and absolutely obsessed with... yep... Creed.

She's actually very good at her job and very helpful. I like working with her. Out of respect for that... I tried to be subtle. I really did. I tried to be nice. I really did.

But... man... it's CREED! How can you NOT make fun of them or their fans? I mocked the band mercilessly for the rest of the day and later that week I wrote up some VB in an Excel workbook that threw out a message reading "It's [date & time] and Creed STILL sucks. Press 'OK' to confirm." After pressing 'OK' all cells on the screen get filled with the phrase "CREED SUCKS!" and another message pops up thanking the user for "...acknowledging the truth about this lousy band..."

True story.

Of course, I seem to be reaping my kharmic reward, because Creed KEEPS COMING UP... on the radio... at my friend's house... at my favorite bar... on frakking Pajiba.

Someone make it stop.

I thought I mentioned it here, but maybe it was on the Facespace - my boss announced to me one day that she couldn't decide who she loved more - Nickelback or Creed. She had the option to go to either concert, but she just couldn't decide which one she should choose because she JUST LOVES BOTH OF THEM SO MUCH.

Now, welcome to my hell.

All this is pretty much how I feel about Pearl Jam. If what I hear on the radio and think is Pearl Jam is really Pearl Jam.

Maybe it's Creed.

I punch up another station anyway, just to be on the safe side.

I'll take you higher...IN BED!

*Whips out a top hat and cane, does a little jig*

A girl at my AZ hair dresser shared her ultimate fantasy with us one day (completely unsolicited and apropos of nothing): to have sex on the hood of a car while Take Me Higher was playing really loud. She said she couldn't help it, it was her "rocker chick/wild child side". I may have stared at her with my mouth agape. And maybe laughed. And made fun of her.

I bet she'll go see this.

A second variation on the sub-headline:

Music is for professionals.

I had to go see a Creed concert on assignment back in 2005 or 2006 when I wrote for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. The band would take breaks after every two to three song set, making 1.5 hours of music into a 3 hour experience. I wonder if this concert video will match that wonderful expense of hours and minutes.

I don't know. My cockpuncher's elbow healed after about a week, but I had to have surgery for my balltapper's wrist.

TK and Twig, let's divide up zones. We want to cover as much ground as possible.

That header picture appeared and spittled some iced mocha onto my
keyboard here at the salt mine.
The first thing I thought of is how much he looks like the male version
of a lonesome highway strip joint hooker gal. Humping and a' schlumping
on down to *your* seat to beg for some change. "Look what I can do Mister..."
But who is this group again? Oh yeah, that Arms Wide Open 'anthem'. PEE yooo.

Nickelback's first album is actually quite nice. But they ran out of ideas after that, so they keep repeating themselves. Much like Bon Jovi. Or AC/DC.

Creed never noticed that there was a band that sounded like them already. And one that was myriad times better.

For the longest time my mother had a Nickelback song for her ringtone. Don't ask me which one, because I couldn't tell you if you held a gun to my head, and really, I don't want to know. She changed it though, and now it's a female voice, sounding remarkably like the voice of the pothole in that Geico commercial (you know the one, the pothole's voice in an odd combination of Valley Girl and Southern Belle), screaming,"Oh! OH! You've got a call! Answer the phone! OOOhh! Ooh!! Somebody's calling YOOOOUUUUUU!!!!"

I'll take your sympathy now. Thanks.

*whips out his debit card*

In this case I think a MurderTank(TM) purchase may be a tax right off.

Who do I make my payment out to?

TK and Twig, let's divide up zones. We want to cover as much ground as possible.

Are we all in MA? I'm calling the Southern suburbs and Cape Cod.

Wow, that joke's amazing because you can plug literally anything into the spot currently occupied by the word 'Creed'. Well played.

Creed really is the worst band of the 90's, no matter what 90's record you have, even if it's an Insane Clown Posse record, it's pretty much a give that if Creed was the alternative, I'll listen to the other record. Or, maybe just cut my ears off for safety.

Did Someone just compare Pearl Jam to Creed?

Posted by: Davis at December 3, 2009 11:41 AM
---
All things that suck are identical.

BTW - the word ointment makes me giggle for unknown reasons.
Sorry, I think I snapped over at the de-lurk love fest and now I can't stop!

... and by coma I mean comma

Sorry, Lame-o, can't let THAT be the last word on this long twisting virulent spewage of Creedhate. You don't get it. You're sadly out of touch. YOU, my friend, are clearly the wierdo in the corner on this one. And so I must now affix the proper conclusion to this thread (With apologies to Dr. Seuss):

Creed sucks dead green donkey balls splotched with moldy purple spots.

Ahhhh. [steps back, looks up] much betters.