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One Will Crash Above Them All

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (22)

crashmovie.jpg

Another week, another vaguely similar looking top 20 list (season rank in parenthesis). It was a big week for mid-season debuts, however. You might notice three new shows that didn’t make the top 20 cut: “Parks and Recreation,” “The Unusuals,” and “Southland.” However, “‘Surviving Suburbia” and “Harper’s Island,” did. (Ugh. I may therefore need to review “Harper’s Island”) Otherwise, save for the NCAA basketball championship, the top 20 shows don’t look much different from previous weeks: Reality shows and procedurals occupy 14 of the top 20 slots (15 if you count “24” as a procedural).

1. (1) “American Idol” (Wednesday), Fox, 22.98 million viewers.
2. (2) “American Idol” (Tuesday), Fox, 22.81 million viewers.
3. (3) “Dancing with the Stars,” ABC, 19.88 million viewers.
4. (5) “NCIS,” CBS, 17.81 million viewers.
5. (X) NCAA Men’s Basketball Championship,” CBS, 17.65 million viewers.
6. (7) “The Mentalist,” CBS, 16.92 million viewers.
7. (4) “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation,” CBS, 16.62 million viewers.
8. (8) “Dancing with the Stars Results,” ABC, 14.56 million viewers.
9. (12) “Criminal Minds,” CBS, 13.61 million viewers.
10. (18) “House,” Fox, 13.29 million viewers.
11. (X) “60 Minutes,” CBS, 12.82 million viewers.
12. (16) “CSI: NY,” CBS, 12.5 million viewers.
13. (18) “Without a Trace,” CBS, 12.15 million viewers.
14. (X) “Prelude to a Championship,” CBS, 12.15 million viewers.
15. (22) “Surviving Suburbia,” ABC, 11.25 million viewers.
16. (16) “Survivor: Tocantins,” CBS, 11.24 million viewers.
17. (20) “24,” Fox, 10.96 million viewers.
18. (X) “Amazing Race 14,” CBS, 10.57 million viewers.
19. (X) “Cold Case,” CBS, 10.56 million viewers.
20. (32) “Harper’s Island,” CBS, 10.21 million viewers.


In more interesting, but just as disturbing news, via The Chicago Tribune, I bet you can’t guess what the number one Netflixed movie of the last three years is. If you actually said Paul Haggis’ Crash, then you win one free punch in the neck. Number one for three consecutive years. In fact, more people have now Netflixed Crash than saw it in the theater. That’s a sad state of affair, folks.

For the curious, here’s the top ten rentals on Netflix:

1. Crash
2. The Departed
3. The Bucket List
4. Pursuit of Happyness
5. No Country for Old Men
6. Casino Royale
7. Little Miss Sunshine
8. Blood Diamond
9. The Notebook
10. The Devil Wears Prada

Overall, the top 100 list is kind of perplexing. For shits and giggles, you can tally up how many you’ve seen (sadly, I’ve seen 94).









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Comments

You review movies. You SHOULD have seen 94 of them. So the rest of us don't have to waste our time. Thanks.

Posted by: osmate77 at April 15, 2009 7:30 PM

I'll put this on the other thread too but, I hate American Idol. It's disturbs me to no end that 23 million people watch that insipid, untalented peice of shit. If it were a person, and it was on fire, I would piss on it.

Posted by: admin at April 15, 2009 7:37 PM

I've seen exactly half of those movies. And I have no intention of bumping that percentage up much higher. Man, there's a bunch of shit on that list. People really wanted to see The Bucket List on purpose? I thought that was the kind of thing you only watched on an airplane, or if you had the flu so bad you were too weak to lift the remote.

Posted by: Wednesday at April 15, 2009 8:03 PM

Rowles, I saw Harper's Island and Southland (DVRed 'em both and watched 'em later). I really enjoyed Southland and it kind of bums me out that it's not doing well. My general gauge of a good show is if my mom likes it. She enjoys interesting and/or engaging characters, but would prefer it if story lines weren't too convoluted and she gets tired of one-note jokes. This is the type of show I always feel like the average American should like, because I think my mom is like the average American. Except I always forget that my mom is much smarter. *sigh* America start watching Chuck & Southland and stop fucking your optic nerves with The Hills. You killed Daisies, you owe me, fuckers.

Oh and I'd be happy to review Harper's Island for you. But before I do, let me tell you that I am easily frightened by cheep movie shocks and scares, this makes me devolve into a shrieking wimp whilst watching would be horrors. That being said, Harper's Island is boring. The characters aren't intriguing. The "shocking" scares normally seen in movies of this genre are replaced by off-camera impaling and lack-luster death moans. The pacing drags like a diaper full of shit. Some of the leads are attractive, but their varying degrees of undress is hardly impressive. And that weird border-line sociopathic little girl is not-so much unnerving as she is unnecessary. The show probably could have improved as one of those "Weekend Miniseries Events ZOMG!!!" But as a 13-week pseudo-series it will have about zero ability to enthrall the masses. You know, exactly what you want in a thrasher thriller.

Done. Thank me in candy.

Posted by: Kayanne at April 15, 2009 8:06 PM

I actually watched the show this afternoon, Kayanne, and I don't think I could offer a better review than you just did. That pretty much says it all, and well.

What kind of candy do you like?

Posted by: Dustin Rowles at April 15, 2009 8:39 PM

I had no idea anyone watched The Mentalist.

Posted by: figgy at April 15, 2009 8:42 PM

Dark Chocolate!

I swear to Godtopus that was not a set-up for Pookie.

Posted by: Kayanne at April 15, 2009 8:54 PM

You approve my review but mod my comments?

Consider me put out.

Posted by: Kayanne at April 15, 2009 9:00 PM

Sorry, Kayanne. I didn't moderate your comment. There's a certain word now that, if used, automatically gets a comment sent into the junk filter. It's now been approved, with my apologies.

Posted by: Dustin Rowles at April 15, 2009 9:07 PM

Crash? Motherfucking Crash? The most unoriginal, inspid product of our generation is the most Netflixed movie of all time? Fucking hell! I watched that turdsickle, and it was a complete waste of my cable time. What is it about Crash that America finds so fascinating?

Posted by: George at April 15, 2009 9:46 PM

What is it about Crash that America finds so fascinating?

The same thing that compells 23 million Americans to watch American Idol.

Posted by: admin at April 15, 2009 9:53 PM

What is it about Crash that America finds so fascinating?


Why do millions of Americans still rely on Oprah for their Received Opinions?

Posted by: oskar667 at April 15, 2009 9:57 PM

No worries, Rowles! Now to guess what word sent up red flags...

What is it about Crash that America finds so fascinating?

Awkwardly handles race relations are as American as mullets.

Posted by: Kayanne at April 15, 2009 10:08 PM

I can only hope and pray that the millions of people who Netflixed "Crash" were like, "I just can't believe it's as bad as everyone on Pajiba says it is."

*two hours later*

"Jumpin' Jeezapus on a pogo stick, FUCK ME IN THE EYES, that was FAR FAR worse! But I'm not gonna tell anyone that, let the bastards suffer like I did."

Kayanne,

I'll be glad to hold your ... um, hand through the scary parts.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 15, 2009 11:18 PM

Oskar667, I once offended my mom to the point of forehead wrinkles and raised voice by mentioning that I understood why an author would not want the Oprah book club seal prominently displayed on the cover of his or her book. As much as I love my mom, that incident seriously impaired our future communications.

Posted by: Edwina the Magnificent at April 16, 2009 12:48 AM

Enough people have watched Crash that somebody thought it would be a great idea to make a show out of. There are things about the world that will never make sense to me.

Posted by: Clarence Boddicker at April 16, 2009 2:39 AM

Most of the movies on the list make sense; either they're good movies or I get the appeal for most people.

But 'Firewall'? Really? Didn't that, like, fall of the radar before it even came out? What would compell enough people to see it that it would place #46 on the list? Can there really be that many Paul Bettany fans out there?

I am truly perplexed and bothered by this.

Posted by: Mimi at April 16, 2009 3:34 AM

Why Crash? That movie was awful, depressing overrated garbage.

Posted by: Mebe at April 16, 2009 7:33 AM

Hence why I always congratulate myself on NEVER having watched it. It was close, great white grazing your foot close, but I narrowly escaped.

I watched a lot of shit in my life and can sourly expect to watch more, but THAT ONE I'm avoiding!

Posted by: Four Eyes at April 16, 2009 10:36 AM

Sadly, I've seen 94

Um... you run a movie review site. If you hadn't seen 94, I'd think you were only here to call out the zombies.

Posted by: Sweetie Dahling at April 16, 2009 12:18 PM

Kayanne, You hated Crash and love Pushing Daisies. You make it hard to hate you.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at April 16, 2009 12:30 PM

73/100, and Flightplan still counts if you watch the trailer and then the last act of the film. It's pretty much the same thing.

Posted by: Doctor Controversy at April 17, 2009 9:06 AM