free counter with statistics Cowboy Bebop Movie Keanu Reeves | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

cowboybebop1.jpg

Hey Look, Another Good Thing Is Being Destroyed

3, 2, 1, Let’s Jam / Daniel Carlson

Trade News | January 19, 2009 | Comments (27)

I’ve never been the biggest anime fan, but I’m also not dumb enough to write off an entire storytelling medium just because a lot of it has to do with (I think) robots having sex. When I was a freshman in college, my roommate — a great and endearing kid who loved cargo pants, played trombone in the band, and would staunchly defend Eve 6’s second album — introduced me to “Cowboy Bebop,” and I enjoyed it. Sure, it had some of the genre’s stylistic quirks (annoying kid sidekick), but I totally dug the bounty hunter stories mixed with this weird hybrid of action/sci-fi/Western/neo-noir/chase story. It was a solid series, and the DVDs are well worth picking up for anyone looking for a fun and engaging little story.

But with all good things, sooner or later someone comes along to ruin it, and that seems to the case with the news that Fox will be bringing “Cowboy Bebop” to the big screen (despite the fact that an animated feature was released in 2001). Worse yet: It’s going to star Keanu Reeves.

Yes, that Keanu.

Reeves will play Spike, a bounty hunter and pilot of the spaceship Bebop. The movie’s set for a 2011 release, but (spoiler?) I can tell you now that it will probably suck. Probably definitely suck.

Here’s a fun clip to distract you from the fact that, despite your belief in a just and whole universe, Keanu Reeves keeps getting work:


← Veronica Mars Movie Rob Thomas | Idris Elba Office NBC Steve Carell →



Comments

You know getting a couple of pictures of Keanu posing doesn't really demonstrate his acting range. I've enjoyed his performances in several films. So yeah, in your face, "daniel carson", if that is your real name.

Posted by: Lolita at January 19, 2009 12:15 PM

You know, I think I've made peace with myself and the fact that Hollywood will destroy anything to make a buck. I understand that the desicration of all we hold dear is a way of executives saying, "Hey, we feel like a rapin', who's next?"

I only have one small request. Could you guys use a different oriface once in a while? That one is really starting to chafe.

Posted by: admin at January 19, 2009 12:20 PM

They're basing the film off of this episode, and Keanu has stated he's also going to pick and choose other parts of the series. Odds are good they won't include Vicious.

Best part of Bebop? The music, of course! I have two soundtrack albums and the official "collection," four CDs packed with awesomeness. The fourth CD is a full-length live Seatbelts show. All the best songs from the show, live! I bought it probably six years ago, but I still listen to it now. It's almost always in my iPod.

I've said it before, I will almost forgive this film if they include the Seatbelts and Kanno Yoko in the soundtrack. If not, I will never accept it.

Posted by: Snath at January 19, 2009 12:21 PM

Why is Keanu Reeves still getting work?

I wish I could add something witty to this, but it truly baffles me.

Posted by: Sofía at January 19, 2009 12:24 PM

Lolita, show me a movie where Keanu is not acting like the exact same person (besides Bill & Ted).

Posted by: Snath at January 19, 2009 12:24 PM

I'm an avid anime fan and Cowboy Bebop is my all time favorite.

Therefore, in regards to this article, LALALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

Posted by: Edie at January 19, 2009 12:26 PM

Oh, I cannot wait to read Vermillion's reaction.

::sits back::

::cracks beer::


...What? I got the day off.

Posted by: TK at January 19, 2009 12:27 PM

DAMN, HOLLYWOOD. You could have at least allowed the sting of an all-white "Avatar: The Last Airbender" cast to pass for a while before foisting this big pile of crap on me. *sigh* Why are they killing my favorite shows, systematically? Can't wait to see what they do to "Thundercats." Just ruin my childhood while you're at it, too.

Problem with Keanu as Spike (aside from the acting, though he CAN act when he wants to - but he's better as an unconventional villain, not the saavy smartass Spike is) - is that Keanu is TOO DAMN OLD FOR THE PART. Mr. Reeves is 44 years old, Spike is 27. And he's 27 for a very specific reason - the creator of Cowboy Bebop had a purpose for choosing 27 as Spike's age, it wasn't just chosen at random. A 44 year old Spike just goes against a key part of the vibe of the show.:/

Crap, this means we're getting Megan Fox as Faye Valentine, doesn't it?

Posted by: luthien26 at January 19, 2009 12:33 PM

Luthien,

SHHHHHHHH

Don't. Give. Them. Any. Further. Ideas.

Posted by: Some Guy at January 19, 2009 12:35 PM

I give up,

You know..... if they are gonna do this thing anyway, Keanu is the right choice. Think of the alternatives, do we want that Twilight emo? or god-forbid Shiiat LeDooosh?

Now they need to cast Faye.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 19, 2009 12:43 PM

Faye should be Rosario Dawson. Hands fucking down. Not that I care, because I can already tell you what my review of this movie will be, because it's the same as the Constantine review:

"Wow, it would have been kinda ok except for Keanu Reeves."

I've never been the biggest anime fan

I wondered why Vermillion didn't formally announce this litle gem. Probably because he's too busy hemorrhaging from the eyes.

Posted by: twig at January 19, 2009 12:48 PM

I'm digging Christina Ricci for Faye, if they're gonna cast an American, the smart thing would be to cast an Asian mmmmmm....Zhang Ziyi?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 19, 2009 12:49 PM

this is just wrong... Cowboy Bebop is my all time favorite Anime and I cannot understand the casting of Keanu in this role... he is so wooden and one dimensional (he couldn't act his way out of a wet paper bag with a map AND the help of a much better paperbag eating actor) and he just doesn't have the smartassed badassery with that lathargic streak needed to bring Spike to life... GAH... and what about JET!!! Hello... Spike was NOT the pilot of the Bebop... come on...

there is just no way they can make the jump from series to 2 hour movie... and everyone is right... one of the BEST things about the series was the music... I still listen to the many soundtracks I have on my ipod... and they're just not going to bring the wonderful weirdness that the Seatbelts brought to the anime to the big screen... it'll be all big explosions... and space dog fights and omg... they're going to make Ed some sexpot Miley Cyrus clone aren't they...

this is such a baaaaaaaaad idea... ugh

Posted by: Tammers at January 19, 2009 12:49 PM

Sorry Tammers but Spike wasn't/isn't the most expressive of characters, he was a minimalist, even at fighting.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 19, 2009 12:51 PM

Heehee, I read about this yesterday and so I've had time to work from the horrified reaction to the completely amused one. Come on...Keanu with a big green afro wig? BEAUTIFUL. ART.

It was going to suck anyway. Now we might as well watch the trainwreck happen.

Posted by: figgy at January 19, 2009 12:52 PM

Am I the only Pajibette who thinks Pattinson is hot? (Well, Marra is excused 'cause the dude kinda looks like her brother.)

Posted by: Sofía at January 19, 2009 1:00 PM

It would be best for all involved if they stayed AWAY from any of the main arcs from the series (Spike's feud with Vicious/Faye's origins/Julia) and just did an intro type deal and straight-up bounty hunt.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 19, 2009 1:00 PM

I don't think they're going to go anywhere near green hair. I think the reason he keeps getting these sort of badass parts is because he's part asian, and studio execs feel he is a compromise between casting a white guy and a fob for magic/anime/I know kung fu roles.

But the big question is who is going to play our lovely androgynous little Edward Pepelu?

Posted by: jasper at January 19, 2009 1:02 PM

I've explained my aversion to Cowboy Bebop before, so I won't dig into it any further here, but given the "expression" I've seen other anime characters express I have to say that Reeves might not be the worst choice. I mean, aside from age, apparently.

I have yet to sit through a single episode of that show and I won't be seeing the movie when it comes. My condolences to those of you who care.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at January 19, 2009 1:05 PM

But the big question is who is going to play our lovely androgynous little Edward Pepelu?

Thats easy, Orlando Bloom.

Posted by: admin at January 19, 2009 1:07 PM

But the big question is who is going to play our lovely androgynous little Edward Pepelu?

Posted by: jasper at January 19, 2009 1:02 pm
----------------------------------------------

They'll probably wimp out and play the character as a standard girl or boy (that's if they don't just cast some fat nerd type or Anthony Anderson to be the token negro AND nerd like he did in Transformers).

Look, just as long as we don't get ANY of the Disney/Nick skank/douche brigade we are halfway to merely watchable

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 19, 2009 1:11 PM

Mmmmm....Angelina Jolie as Faye....

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 19, 2009 1:13 PM

It would be best for all involved if they stayed AWAY from any of the main arcs from the series (Spike's feud with Vicious/Faye's origins/Julia) and just did an intro type deal and straight-up bounty hunt.

Totally. Stand-alone story, like with Knocking on Heaven's Door.

It's still going to suck, though.

Posted by: twig at January 19, 2009 1:16 PM

Mmmmm....Angelina Jolie as Faye....

Oh Christ, not you too. Well, I'm glad I don't care about this.

Posted by: Jay at January 19, 2009 1:19 PM

Sofía, I think he's kind of hot. Particularly after I saw the picture of him with his hair cut and it was no longer apparent that he hadn't bathed in months. Dude's got that kind of like, dirty hot thing going on. I wouldn't bring him home to meet my parents, but I'd definitely bring him home.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at January 19, 2009 1:21 PM

Slim I agree Spike was/is a minimalist character but he was still nuanced enough that he deserves better than Keanu to play him... so help me if he says "Woah"
--------

Posted by: Tammers at January 19, 2009 1:44 PM

Keanu Reeves would be a damned good Spike. He's an excellent physical condition and is in better shape that most you fat boys reading and writing these comments so shut up about him being too old. That's nonsense. Age is just a number. But you teeny bopping fat boys are just plain ugly, overweight and jealous that at 44 Keanu still looks younger than you. LOL ROFL.

Posted by: Chuck Wood at March 9, 2009 3:08 AM