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It's The Best Mindf*ck Yet

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (29)



colin-farrell.jpg

Hell if I know what to make of this news. Of the whole project, actually. There’s good and bad to be found, I suppose.

First and foremost, Collider broke the story yesterday that Colin Farrell has been cast in the new version of Total Recall, based on the original short story by Philip K. Dick, We Can Remember It for You Wholesale, in an interview with producer Neil Moritz. Is this good news or bad new? Depends on which Colin Farrell we get. Actually, that’s not accurate. I believe that Farrell is an excellent actor who more often than not makes really shitty decisions. Look at his IMDB page. You’ve got In Bruges, Crazy Heart, Miami Vice (barely), Phone Booth, Minority Report, and Tigerland. That’s basically it for his good films, and I’m being generous with a couple of those. Then you’ve got movies like S.W.A.T., a film that he and Jeremy Renner both likely regret.

And yet, I can’t help liking the guy.

Anyway, he’ll play Douglas Quaid in the movie, the part most memorably played by Arnold Schwarzenegger in the 1990 Paul Verhoeven film that was hilariously dumb. More good news is that they’re supposedly sticking closer to the novel, meaning no three-boobed hookers. The original story is pretty great, and sticking to it also means that none of it takes place on Mars (well… not exactly, anyway), which is something else that Moritz confirmed:

“It’s closer to the book, the big difference is we don’t go to space… instead of it being a spaceship that takes us to another planet, there’s something that takes us from one side of the planet to another that’s really interesting.”

Now, the down side is of course that it’s being directed by Len Wiseman, who is responsible for two entries in the incredibly disappointing Underworld franchise (again I feel the need to point you to this page for some of the most amusing comments ever) as well as the middling Live Free Or Die Hard.

Moritz seems excited about him, though, but of course he does. No producer ever interviews and says, “yeah, we’ve got a director and he’s a real bucket of shit, but hey, you know, people love him. I know, I know — people are fucking retards, but what are you gonna do, amirite?”

“I think the world that Len Wiseman is creating is incredible. It’s a real world, a real future world, where the cities have just gotten so overcrowded that the cities are just built up, up, up, up. It’s just everything I see on the movie, every pre-vis I see on the movie, every conceptual drawing on this movie that I see just makes me more and more excited. We’re playing it like a real world, but there’s all these technological advancements to the real world, and it’s just really, it’s cool. It’s an awesome movie. I’m dying—as a fan of movies, more than anything, it’s a movie that I’m just dying to see.”

Wiseman can direct the hell out of an action scene, but that’s about it. He’s like Zack Snyder with less talent or inspiration. That’s… not good, is what I’m saying.

(source: Collider)









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Comments

No three-tittied martian? But that was the only part of the movie that could have possibly been improved upon.

I miss the days when filmmakers would inject a few titties into a movie just because it was already rated R. They'd be like, "Oh, this is definitely going to be rated R. We might as well dress her up like a three-tittied martian." I can't even tell you how much more I would've enjoyed the Bourne movies if during the fight scenes he'd crashed through a flimsy apartment wall into a room that had a naked woman screaming and hopping around because of the intrusion.

*sigh* I miss the days of pointless titties.

...wait...

Posted by: superasente at January 11, 2011 9:21 AM

Collider...always has some interesting new info dont they.
My info: I beleive this will be filmed in Toronto. Although I am NOT 100% certain.
Colin F, you can't help like him? Meh..I see the potential for all crazy/wild and stuff but I don't think he's found it yet.
Original Total Recall. super fab campy stuff in there. Yes, yes, Quato!

Posted by: JaneSpotting at January 11, 2011 9:21 AM

meaning no three-boobed hookers

WHAT?!
:throws bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch to the ground:
TK, You shatter my dreams this early in the morning!

Posted by: Fredo at January 11, 2011 9:28 AM

I've always said, without nipples breasts would be pointless.

Posted by: Yossarian at January 11, 2011 9:28 AM

no three-boobed hookers.
---
Deal-breaker.

Posted by: , at January 11, 2011 9:43 AM

Excellent news for the PaddyDog household since the mister loves Total Recall and I love Colin Farrell. It promises at least one weekend without tedious third-party mediated talks over what movie to see.

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 11, 2011 9:53 AM

So, I guess since their not going to another planet, the catch phrase will be, "Don't get your ass to Mars!!"

Posted by: Kargoyle at January 11, 2011 9:56 AM

Here’s hoping he’ll just be playing his In Bruges character. In this as well as anything else he’ll ever be in. Constant, boyishly petulant swearing in a broad Irish accent can only enhance any role he’s in.

And those fucking eyebrow antics; like two black caterpillars with ADD.

Posted by: zeke the pig at January 11, 2011 10:03 AM

You know what? This might be good, it needs Minority Report Farell, make it a serious retelling and CHANGE the fucking title to something that is not Total Recall.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 11, 2011 10:05 AM

Everyone beat me to the disgust over the no triple boobage news but I was seriously just discussing this the other day with someone and concluded the only way we'd see this is if it included 3D triple boobs. I'm not surprised it won't though. Gratuitous boobs are few and far between in cinema anymore. Boobs should never be few nor far. They should be many and very near.

Posted by: Paultera at January 11, 2011 10:07 AM

Also, I feel the need to add: I never got the triple-boobage love.

Two boobs; two hands; evolution.

If you're gonna be shoving another boob in my face, I'm gonna need an extra han-...

Ohh, unless the shoving in face is literal I guess.

Posted by: zeke the pig at January 11, 2011 10:15 AM

::giggling::

::more giggling::

::continues giggling::

::snorts, looks embarrassed, continues giggling::

Colin Farrell

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 11, 2011 10:19 AM

you left out A Home at the End of the World.

Posted by: ada at January 11, 2011 10:32 AM

Hey, the triple tittied hooker Martian has a name - Mary.

Use it, love it, yell it - if it makes you wish for a third hand, it deserves respect.

Posted by: TVConnoisseur at January 11, 2011 10:44 AM

"My name is not Quaid!"

I just...
I think...
This is just...
Fuck it up the...
Who decided...

Stupid.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at January 11, 2011 10:54 AM

I would include The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus as one of his good films, though, he doesn't exactly do much to solidify it's goodness. Enough, but not much. But, I've been a Colin Farrel apologist since Daredevil. Mainly because I saw Tigerland about two seconds before he went champagne supernova, and I could tell the guy had a lot of promise.

I agree, we need Minority Report Farrel with a bit of In Bruges thrown in to make it interesting. That new show, The Cape, should have an actor like Farrel in the lead...

So, yeah. I'm intrigued, especially since I don't hate the Underworld movies. But a title change is much needed.

Posted by: RobP at January 11, 2011 11:18 AM

Colin Farrell is hot, but if there's no Quato and ONLY two boobs per lady, is it even worth it?

More seriously - Half the theater will want it to be cheesy like the original movie, half will want it to be thoughtful like the novel.
Either way it goes, half of the viewing audience will be disappointed.

Posted by: ninetwenteetoo at January 11, 2011 11:20 AM

I can see it now.

"Consider that a ******* divorce, you ******* ****!"

Posted by: Simon at January 11, 2011 11:38 AM

I can honestly say, with no hyperbole, that Total Recall was the greatest film in American history, and will never be surpassed.Death to those pompous Hollywood trash who dare retread such hallowed ground. Death.

Posted by: Vorax at January 11, 2011 11:43 AM

Fredo, that was awesome.

Posted by: Chickaboom at January 11, 2011 11:44 AM

Plus you guys are nuts, the midget with the submachinegun was WAY hotter than the tri-boob.

Posted by: Vorax at January 11, 2011 11:51 AM

We Can Remammary For You Wholesale.

Posted by: bsmechanic at January 11, 2011 11:56 AM

But, alas, very few straight people ever saw A Home at the End of the World. The film that gave us Dallas "Boy Butter" Roberts in yet another gay-for-pay role (see the Law & Order franchise).

Don't get me wrong, Dallas Roberts is quality talent. I'm just getting annoyed about the whole straight-actors-keeping-perfectly-competent-gay-actors-unemployed thing today.

Posted by: Jerry at January 11, 2011 12:56 PM

But... The original is a cult classic... It will always hold a place in my heart. Remember when Arnold pulls the tracking device out through his nose? That shit was awesome.

Posted by: camytaru at January 11, 2011 1:10 PM

GET YOH ASS TO MAHS!

Posted by: Murderbot at January 11, 2011 3:18 PM

It's a nit picky thing but I feel like I should nudge you toward Onedin as a good example of Farrell the Good.

I am more a-feared of Farrell being cast as my beloved (mine. do you hear me MINE) Jerry Dandridge in Fright Night remake.

Hold me.

Posted by: klingonfree at January 11, 2011 3:27 PM

This is one remake I fully support. I'd like a take that's a bit heavier on the proper science fiction.

That said, I thought Verhoeven's film was pretty damn good and not to be dismissed as hilariously dumb. It's the best balancing of Schwarzenegger's 80s cheesy fun action with an interesting science fiction story that I could imagine. Plus, that Goldsmith score is great.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at January 11, 2011 4:25 PM

Michael Ironside or GTFO.

Posted by: MM at January 12, 2011 4:42 AM

Baaaaeeeenny! SCROOOOOOOOW YOOOOOOOOOOOOOUWW!

Gitchass to Moss, Gitchass to Moss, Gitchass to Moss, Gitchass to Moss

DAMMIT COHAAAAAYGEN, GET DEEZ PEOPLE SAHM AAAAEEEEYAARE

Posted by: Jim at January 12, 2011 6:28 PM