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Clash Of The Titans 2 Plot Details And Casting: More Titans, Less Suckery Please

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (19)



Clash-of-the-Titans-2010-001.jpg

It’s sort of amazing that 2010’s Clash of the Titans, a film that grossed over $160 million and cost $125 million (ouch), was so utterly forgettable. I seriously can barely remember a single line of dialogue, and I’m usually a friggin’ sponge for that sort of thing, even when it comes to boring movies. It says something when you’ve made a gonzo tentpole movie with gods and giant monsters and warriors and beautiful women, and I’ve already almost forgotten its existence. Of course, Warner Brothers is determined to revive that memory, and thus the sequel, Wrath of the Titans (working title, I believe) is moving forward. However, it will now have Bill Nighy, among others, making it 100% more interesting.

Not that that’s saying a hell of a lot.

Regardless, the casting has been a little weird. Gemma Arterton, who Cardboard Boy Sam Worthington rode off into the sunset (literally) with at the end of Clash, will not be returning. Edgar Ramirez has been cast as Ares, a part previously played by Tamer Hassan. Nighy will play Hephaestus, the deformed god of blacksmiths and fire (and one of my favorite gods). And Alexa Davalos, who was boring and virtually irrelevent as Andromeda, has been replaced by Rosamund Pike. Now instead of boring, teary-eyed Andromeda, it’ll be warrior-queen Andromeda, because when I think Rosamund Pike, I think warrior-queen. At least Davalos had her Gwen Raiden and Riddick cred, which would have made that a little more viable.

Of course (spoilers), the biggest mistake the first one made was killing off the most interesting actors — Mads Mikkelson and Jason Flemyng. But that’s neither here nor there.

There’s also an official synopsis, which continues to fuck around with Greek mythology, taking fast-and-loose to whole new levels:

A decade after his heroic defeat of the monstrous Kraken, Perseus—the demigod son of Zeus—is attempting to live a quieter life as a village fisherman and the sole parent to his 10-year old son, Helius.
Meanwhile, a struggle for supremacy rages between the gods and the Titans. Dangerously weakened by humanity’s lack of devotion, the gods are losing control of the imprisoned Titans and their ferocious leader, Kronos, father of the long-ruling brothers Zeus, Hades and Poseidon. The triumvirate had overthrown their powerful father long ago, leaving him to rot in the gloomy abyss of Tartarus, a dungeon that lies deep within the cavernous underworld.
Perseus cannot ignore his true calling when Hades, along with Zeus’ godly son, Ares (Edgar Ramírez), switch loyalty and make a deal with Kronos to capture Zeus. The Titans’ strength grows stronger as Zeus’ remaining godly powers are siphoned, and hell is unleashed on earth.
Enlisting the help of the warrior Queen Andromeda (Rosamund Pike), Poseidon’s demigod son, Argenor (Toby Kebbell), and fallen god Hephaestus (Bill Nighy), Perseus bravely embarks on a treacherous quest into the underworld to rescue Zeus, overthrow the Titans and save mankind.

Oy.

The new film will be directed by Jonathan Liebesman, who recently did Battle: Los Angeles, which I haven’t seen, though everyone I know who has says it’s inexcusable dreck. Drag, yo.

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Comments

Huh. I too have this weird amnesia regarding this movie, but I know I did have fun at how stupid it was, mostly because of Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes. And without Boring McBorefaceton the whole thing could be more enjoyable.

Honestly, I know it's probably going to be shitty and not use any of the actual stories (which is something I've given up hope of EVER understanding), but I know I'll go watch it. I'm a sucker for that kind of thing.

Posted by: figgy at March 24, 2011 10:42 AM

Well that sounds even worse than expected. And by ejecting Io it makes the entire ending to the first movie irrelevant. Since Gemma Arterton was about the only thing I DID like in that mess I think I'll be taking a pass. I'm sure the plebes will eat it up, though.

Posted by: TylerDFC at March 24, 2011 10:52 AM

They should have made a prequel and thrown out everyone but Mads Mikkelson. Title: "The Guy Mads Mikkelson Played in Clash of the Titans(Because really, did YOU know his character's name?) Kills EVERYONE Using Just An Arrow Head"

I'm not a gore guy, by any stretch of the imagination, but that arrow head bit in Valhalla Rising and "Machete bungee jumps using an intestine" are two of the most clever use of guts I have seen on screen.

Posted by: lubeg at March 24, 2011 10:59 AM

I remember the film quite clearly. It was campy, over the top, and rife with dialog that would fit in quite well with 1950's B-Movies. Y'all went in expecting mindless action and were disappointed when it turned into a Greece-set episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 without the color commentary. It takes a gifted visionary to deliver something so completely wrong for the target audience and still get a sequel out of the deal. I suspect a deal with the devil, myself, but it could just be a "close enough" Hollywood decision with the middling gross.

Posted by: Robert at March 24, 2011 11:02 AM

HBO has been putting it on a loop recently and I can absolutely state with 100% guarantee that it is the most mind-numbing, boring and forgettable movie I've seen from a major studio...at least since Avatar.

And I'm not surprised they're sharting all over the mythology. But at least make it interesting or exciting!

The Baynis makes shit but at least it's shiny shit!

Posted by: Fredo at March 24, 2011 11:04 AM

I want to see a movie with a single-camera shot, 2 hours, no cuts, of Atlas carrying the world.

Posted by: sars at March 24, 2011 11:11 AM

It's been a long time since I was obsessed with Greek myth, but I'm pretty sure that at the end of Perseus' story he ends up with Andromeda, and Io is from a completely different story. At least they got that part right in the original Clash of the Titans, eh?

Sigh.

Posted by: Samantha at March 24, 2011 11:11 AM

WTH? This movie wasn't even a big hit. Besides that watching Sam Worthington makes watching paint dry look exciting in comparison.

Posted by: logan at March 24, 2011 11:16 AM

They're not making "Rash of the Titans" the Greek Gods themed PSA?

Or perhaps "Bash of the Titans" An action/80's sex comedy mash-up?

"Lash of the Titans" a late night Cinemax feature?

"Crash of the Titans" A heavy handed screed on the racism of the Pantheon?

I'll stop now.

Posted by: mrcreosote at March 24, 2011 11:24 AM

Stash of the Titans? Pot + James Franco + Greek myth = blockbuster?

Posted by: Samantha at March 24, 2011 11:26 AM

Oh TK, you warm my very heart. Hephaestus was always one of my favourite Greek gods, too! (My two other faves are Hermes and Artemis, obvs.)

Posted by: Caspar at March 24, 2011 11:40 AM

Can Perseus and his buddies out-waterski, out-drink, and outwit Poseidon's cabin? Find out this summer in "Splash of the Titans"!

***

From the creators of Pineapple Express, get ready for a zany new comedy! An unemployed cartoonist (played by Seth Rogan) finds an ancient urn in a pawnshop, and discovers he can use it travel to Mt. Olympus itself! Now the Greek Gods are mixing with mortals and modern society may never be the same! Coming this summer to a theater near you, it's "Stash of the Titans". Featuring Tommy Chong as Zeus.

***

This Thursday on CNN, an inside look at George Soros and the Koch Brothers, the influential multimillionares who some say secretly control American politics. Join us for "Cash of the Titans".

Posted by: foolsage at March 24, 2011 12:02 PM

Samantha beat me to it. :D

Posted by: foolsage at March 24, 2011 12:03 PM

Why is Hades ALWAYS the villain? That poor man. He has this suckyass job of being stuck underground listening to dead people bitch and moan about why they deserve to not be dead ALL THE TIME, and everybody telling him their sad sob stories hoping he'll crack and let them be the one exception because hey, the rules only apply to OTHER people, right? I mean, he's like, the mothereffin' complaints department of death. And he doesn't get any for SIX MONTHS OF THE YEAR because his wife goes to her mom's place.

And now on top of ALL of that, he's the bad guy in damn near everything Greek myth-based from the past 10 or so years at least (I'll give Rick Riordan points for just having Hades be kind of bitter because he don't get no respect without actually being the villain, but he's the exception). Poor guy.

He needs hugs. Or whatever death lord gods like. Day of the Dead sugar skull candy?

Posted by: Nat Kittyface at March 24, 2011 12:10 PM

Gemma Arterton cannot act. At all. "Acting" should imply the ability to occasionally change facial expressions. Getting rid of her for the sequel is a non-issue, because she is simply a carboard cut out. Insert tab A in slot B, fold at the crease, and you can make a new one at any time.

Posted by: bokchoi at March 24, 2011 12:33 PM

I'm sorry, but the presence of Bill Nighy didn't do anything to make Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and 3 more watchable.

Posted by: jimbob at March 24, 2011 1:11 PM

where can i see Stash of the Titans? Is it based on Marie Philips, "Gods Behaving Badly"?

Posted by: idleprimate at March 24, 2011 1:18 PM

I subjected myself to the misfortune of watching this mess on DVD a couple weeks ago - it was inevitable, I had to do it - and HOLY SHIT was it awful. Like, awful, awful, AWFUL FUCK YOU AWFUL.

(awful)

Posted by: MM at March 24, 2011 2:01 PM

Can Perseus bring in Dionysus and his trench coat before he ruins yet another sacrificial ceremony? Next on Flash of the Titans!

It's a race against time as Perseus tries to discover Hermes's treasure by deciphering a series of increasingly difficult riddles in Cache of the Titans (see also "The Hermes Head-Scratcher" by Dan Brown).

Posted by: branded at March 24, 2011 2:02 PM