Circumcision Was So Worth It: Boy Becomes a Man Spectacularly Choreographed Bar Mitzvah Entrance
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Circumcision Was So Worth It: Boy Becomes a Man Spectacularly Choreographed Bar Mitzvah Entrance

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | August 14, 2013 | Comments ()

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Above is the opening number for Sam Horowitz’s burlesque-themed Bar Mitzvah entrance (apparently, there were more routines), and it is absolutely (ת’) נפלא, נהדר; בל יאומן; אגדי, דמיוני; מהאגדות. Filmed last November, and unearthed by a Jewish mommyblog, it’s the kind of performance typically reserved for ביתי זוני סוג גבוהים, and I mean that in the nicest possible way. That kid’s got (ש”ע) נשמה, נפש, רוח; איש, נפש חיה; רגש, לב; התגלמות; .

I hear they followed up the above with a stage production “Rock the Torah” in leather pants and feather boas, and Horowitz even הדבק את דיק בתפוחי אדמה מרוסקים! Hard core, y’all.

(Via Gawker)

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Ben

    He later went on to have sex with each of the performers. מלך

  • Frank

    While these silly parties are a waste of money, it's not like they actually set the cash on fire. Those dancers and the set designers and stage hands, etc. all made money which is a weird Robin Hoody way of taking money from the rich and giving it to the artistic.

    That is what I tell myself to keep my eyes from rolling right out of my skull.

  • Tecuya

    I smell a new MTV series "My Fabulous Bar Mitzvah."

  • Sara_Tonin00

    is it too late to add an "I thought ham was traif?" joke here?

  • Georgia

    It's never too late.

  • wsapnin

    I guess his parents got a two for one...Bar Mitzvah and Coming Out Party all rolled into one!

  • emmalita

    The friend I sent this to did come back to say, "I hope this means his parents accept him as gay." Though to be fair, I have a non-Jewish, non-gay nephew who would love this.

  • Georgia

    I can barely put together my thoughts, because I am so overcome with rage, disgust, and shame. Yes, I'm Modern Orthodox and appalled that our sacred rite of passage is being celebrated like this.

    But even more than that, why on earth would they choose burlesque?!?!?! These are 12- and 13-year-old girls half-naked on a stage in front of hundreds of people, shimmy-ing their chests and thrusting their crotches out. This dance style is based on stripteases, it is overtly sexual, and these girls are way too young to be performing it. There are so many other styles of dance to choose from and they picked the most lewd. My children take ballet and Irish and are able to still obey the Jewish laws of modesty (tznuis - "snee-us").
    What does this sort of thing teach a boy about becoming a man? That half-naked girls will perform for his pleasure while his family cheers him on (and funds him)? I hope he is able to overcome his upbringing, because I am afraid of the kind of citizen he is being raised to become.
    New money can't hide bad breeding.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I didn't think the dancers were teenagers - I assumed they were paid professionals, especially because of the height differential. And yes, the creepy factor.

  • emmalita

    Yes, those were adult women. Does not make it much better as it was performed for a crowd of 12 & 13 yr old kids.

  • Georgia

    That makes me feel a bit better. Still don't understand why they would choose striptease as the theme of a Bar Mitzvah, but at least the dancers aren't underage.
    Of course, there is a whole new, creepy aspect now. Hey, our 6,000+ -year-old culture says you're a man now. To celebrate, we'll pay women to perform a sexual dance half-naked. Because as long as he's "expressing himself" and it "makes him happy," that's totally okay.
    This is one of the few times I am glad my beloved Southern Jewish granny is gone. She was a lady to her fingertips and would have been horrified and brokenhearted by this.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I agree, it's not a good thing. I don't think it's a *new* thing to have half-naked women dancing for a newly adult male, alas. I think that aspect has been around for ages.

    However, assuming, as most are, that this young man appears to be on the fabulous side, it is *slightly* (only slightly) less salacious. More about them as his backup dancers than as his strippers.

    Again, not to give the impression that I approve. Just that I am compulsively-devil's-advocatey.

  • PaddyDog

    Yeah. I've had to go to several of these and they are so annoying with the "look at me, look at my kid" aspect. The only one I really enjoyed was a bar mitzvah for my friend's autistic son which was held in the social room attached to the temple. It was low key but the best part was that he had put so much effort into learning his haf torah (Sp?) and he nailed it and we all cheered (even though we probably weren't supposed to) so the emphasis was on the right part of the event.

  • Georgia

    I am *so* happy to hear about your friend's son. A lot of Jewish communities in the US are struggling to provide meaningful religious experiences for special needs kids with wildly varying degrees of success. I'm also momma to a special needs child, so it's especially wonderful to hear about a synagogue that got it right.
    Haftarah is pronounced haf Torah - good job! It's a reading from the prophets that usually relates to the Torah portion being read that week. Cheering is always welcome when the spirit ("ruach") moves you. I have to tell you that I am tearing up thinking of it - thank you for sharing.

  • Slash

    If he can sing and act, I think we've found NPH's worthy replacement in about 20 years.

    I am kinda flummoxed by the lavish mitvahs, both bar and bat. I mean, it's your money, spend it how you want, but ... maybe they should put it in some kind of investment vehicle for college, rather than hiring showgirls. Not really surprised this happened (apparently) in Dallas. The rich people here only consume conspicuously. They don't know the meaning of the words "tasteful" or "low-key." They're like rich Russians, apparently, but with slightly less money.

    From what I can find out, the family owns a trucking company.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    (I did have the same NPH thought)

  • Allijo

    I thought this was the promo for the new season of So You Think You Can Dance.

  • Nobody important

    He is sure in for a disappointment when he goes into the real world and nobody celebrates his existence like that. Wow,how overblown and spoiled. Only child? I know it's a celebration but wow that is way way too much. As bad as that dumb, self indulgent sweet 16 show. OVERBLOWN.

  • Aratweth

    The little mensch has some enviable moves, no denying it, but I find these sort of conspicuous consumption displays so repellent and unnecessary that it completely turns me off the entire video. That being said, Johnny Weir had better watch his back if this kid ever gets a pair of ice skates.

  • I'm glad the kid evidently enjoyed himself instead of being scarred for life like I would've been. That said, I really have a hard time with these parties (birthday, bar mitzvah, quincenera, whatever) that obviously cost more than I make in a year. It just seems like such an excessive waste of money.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Dustin...? Why....are you....on a Jewish mommy blog?

    (the comments on said blog are almost as cringeworthy as this burlesque spectacular, but they do address my first thought which was: I hope this kid nailed his chanting.)

    The kid is really into it, and that's lovely to see in a way, but I also feel that there might be better time/place for it. Though at the end of the day, no harm done, not my kid and not my business.

  • For all the people who can't muster up the hate for this, I will hate it for you. All of it.

  • Ruthie O

    I was rolling my eyes at the ridiculous spectacle of the whole thing... until the boy popped out and started dancing fierce. Holy shit, that kid is totally fabulous; I can't hate this because he's having so much fun and has some kick ass moves.

  • apsutter

    Seriously, he's the Liberace of jewish 13 year olds

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    That really was something. Now, I hope that they donated an amount equal to the cost of that... spectacle to a worthwhile charity.

  • Really....this can only be summed up with:

  • Natalie

    Bar Mitzvah: literally, son of the commandments or 613 mitzvot.

    Figuratively, the age at which a boy is now completely responsible for his actions, rather than his parents, and subject to the same accountability in observance of Jewish law as an adult.

    Whether you're religious or not, the concept is pretty sobering.

    My Bat Mitzvah consisted of the morning service with me reading the Torah and haftorah portions and giving a speech. All done in our basement with some close friends and family. Lunch followed for all the guests. It was small, tasteful, meaningful.

    I had a sleepover that night with a few friends.

  • emmalita

    I sent the link to my friend who will be doing a Bar Mitzvah followed by a Bat Mitzvah. I could hear her screams across the Internet. She promptly replied, "my kids are getting pizza in the social hall and they will like it!" Her rage is better than coffee.

  • BWeaves

    My Dad was wandering around Germany after being liberated from Nazi concentration camp by the Russians. A Rabbi grabbed him and asked him if he'd been bar mitzvahed yet, and he said, "No." "You will be in a moment," and he was dragged up to the bima.

    I love your friend. Her kids better enjoy their pizza. I can't stand these over the top parties.

  • emmalita

    Her son, at least, would run away and join the foreign legion if someone tried to make him dance onstage. And I'm with you on the parties, except that kid looks so happy, so I forgive him.

    That's lovely about your dad. How old was he?

  • BWeaves

    He was probably around 14 at the time. He was in concentration camp for 4 years. The Nazis used him as slave labor, but killed the rest of his family. He made it to America in the next couple of years, and had a few hard knocks in the beginning, but he is now a happy retiree with wonderful kids and grandchildren.

  • Ruthie O

    The two paragraphs you've written here about your dad are so compelling and moving. Seriously, I would read a book about your dad's life.

  • BWeaves

    He never used to talk about it. Then he found out about Steven Spielberg's Shoah foundation, and he asked me to contact them. They came and recorded his life story and gave us copies. After that, Dad started going to all the schools and talking about his experiences. Sometimes the kids get it, and ask intelligent questions. Sometimes they ask, "But Mr. L. What did you do for fun?"

  • emmalita

    I'm happy to hear that. One of my best friends in elementary school's father was in a concentration camp in Poland. He never talked about around me, but he did tell my Dad. It made the Holocaust very real for me.

  • apsutter

    Yea, I do not get such extravagant parties and obvious shows of wealth but that kid looks so damned happy that I just can't hate.

  • Natalie

    Even so, that song and dance was awesome.

  • emmalita

    I'm going to pin that. That is the Bar Mitzva my bff's son should have. They've got 7 years to save up. He's smart, I'm sure he will get a full scholarship to college. {sarcasm font}

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